Date: October 25, 2019
Location: Spring Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves
It’s another show with a purpose as we have the go home show for Crown Jewel. Therefore Brock Lesnar and Cain Velasquez are here, because that’s the biggest match on the show no one other than WWE wants to watch. I’m not sure what to expect around here but hopefully it picks up a little bit. Let’s get to it.
We start fast with MizTV with Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and most of their teams, with no entrance for anyone. You have Hulk Hogan’s theme available and you don’t think that’s a good way to start the show? Miz introduces everyone (including Shorty G, who is now in neon basketball gear with a big G on the front), including members of the teams who aren’t here. Hogan talks about forming a team so Flair rants about how awesome his team is. That sends Flair into a speech about how he’s never lost to Flair and how great his own team is.
Sami laughs at Hogan bragging about Shorty G, who can’t wait to shut Sami up. Ali, who is about the same height as G, makes fun of Sami for not wrestling anymore but Corbin cuts them off to say Crown Jewel was named in his honor. Corbin promises that Reigns will let everyone down as he always does. Reigns: “Corbin, shut up man.” Reigns insults Corbin’s king gear and a six man tag is set up, with Hogan calling Nakamura a young boy. Sami isn’t available though, due to a neck issue so he has a replacement ready: Cesaro, who starts the fight with Reigns right now. Team Hogan clears the ring and we get some Real American.
New Day vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode
No Woods here as he had surgery for his torn Achilles today so you won’t be seeing him in the ring for a very long time. Ziggler starts fast by knocking Kofi to the floor and we take a break about a minute in. Back with Big E. cleaning house and bringing Kofi in off the hot tag for a launch onto Ziggler. Everything breaks down and it’s a spinebuster to Big E. Kofi springboards in with a double ax handle to Roode but gets rolled up with tights for the pin at 5:12. New Day was announced as getting a Tag Team Title shot on next week’s show and they lose here to set up the Tag Team Turmoil. This is an example of WWE being REALLY STUPID!
Post match Revival comes out to brawl with New Day but Heavy Machinery makes the save. I’m still trying to get over how completely stupid that match result was. It’s a match designed to set up next week’s big gauntlet so there are literally NINE other teams you could put out there other than the #1 contenders. How exactly did the decision making process go?
Video on Tyson Fury vs. Braun Strowman.
Lacey Evans vs. Camron Connors
Actually hold on as Lacey says she isn’t lowering herself to beat someone like Connors. She’s going to walk out instead of embarrassing her so Lacey says ring the bell so she can be counted out. Lacey dives back in at nine and hits the Woman’s Right for the pin at 47 seconds. Well that happened.
A far too excited Nikki Cross doesn’t like the insults that Bayley has thrown at her lately. Tonight, Nikki has to face Mandy Rose, who is certainly gorgeous, but wrestling isn’t a beauty pageant.
So we’re forty minutes in and we’ve had the following:
Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, who have two of the most iconic entrances of all time, standing in the ring to start the show.
Shorty G. in neon basketball gear.
The #1 contenders losing in a five minute match when you could throw in multiple other teams (like one of the teams who made the post match save) to make the same point.
Lacey Evans teasing walking out before coming back in to win in less than a minute.
I’m starting to get the mindset of the people who can’t stand this show lately. It’s like a bunch of people put in individual stuff but no one talked to each other as the show was being put together.
We look at the Firefly Fun House being burned down.
And now, the Firefly Fun House, featuring a funeral for Ramblin Rabbit. They get to say some nice words about him, including Huskus being glad Rabbit introduced him to carrot cake and the Mercy the Vulture saying he was a good dinner. Bray says it was supposed to be an open casket so he pulls out the bloody, charred remains of Ramblin Rabbit……who comes back to life. Mercy immediately eats him again and we’re done.
Drew Gulak vs. Kalisto
Well of course that’s what this show needs. Before the match, Lucha House Party talks about wanting to bring lucha libre to Smackdown. They do know that REY MYSTERIO is already on the show right? The bell rings and Gulak grabs a mic to introduce himself. He has a PowerPoint presentation on how Tyson Fury can defeat Braun Strowman. The slides won’t change so Kalisto kicks him down, only to get caught with a spinebuster. The referee stops to check on him but says it’s ok. Gulak loads up the Cyclone Crash….and here’s Braun Strowman for a distraction. The Salida Del Sol finishes Gulak at 2:15.
Post match it’s a running powerslam to plant Gulak. He does it again at the audience’s request and promises the same to Fury.
Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat with Michael Cole. Last week he pinned the Intercontinental Champion and the arena erupted in YES chants. Bryan didn’t want to get involved though, so is the YES Movement back? Before that can be answered, here are Shinsuke Nakamura and Sami Zayn to interrupt. Sami shows us a clip of Bryan declaring the YES Movement dead back in November. The fans don’t like the new Daniel Bryan though because Sami wants to talk about the REAL Daniel Bryan.
Sami knows that Bryan is a real and honorable man but the people don’t care. It’s interesting that Bryan has a lot more in common with Sami and Nakamura, who care about the same things he cares about. They are all artists in the ring though, and now Bryan is at a crossroads. He can either go back to the people with the nitwits who chant YES or he can move forward with the two of them. The handshake is offered but Bryan walks away instead. This was the only good thing on the show so far.
Nikki Cross vs. Mandy Rose
Sasha Banks and Bayley (all in black) are on commentary. Mandy knocks her down to start and cuts off a comeback attempt with a forearm to the face. The chinlock doesn’t last long and Rose gets two off a fall away slam. Sonya Deville gets in a hard right hand to Nikki but she’s right back with a high crossbody for two. Another Sonya distraction backfires and it’s the Purge to finish Mandy at 4:37.
Rating: D+. Another match that just happened as this show is spiraling down. Bayley as the emotionless champion could go somewhere but Nikki as a title contender isn’t so likely. They’re trying to make someone new though and I can certainly give them points for that, but this wasn’t the best place to try and have something positive, at least not after the first hour of this show being such a mess.
Clip of the Undertaker on the WWE float in Riyadh.
Here are Rey Mysterio and Cain Velasquez for a chat. Rey is proud of his son Dominick for trying to fight back and now Rey knows he’s really a Mysterio. As for Brock Lesnar, Rey knows Cain is going to give Lesnar another scar. Lesnar and Paul Heyman need to get out here right now so we can do this face to face.
They pop up on screen instead, saying that Lesnar has more important things to do than go face to face with Velasquez. Brock has been doing something but Heyman won’t say where he has been doing it. Rey still wants them out here right now so Heyman says Rey should guess to whom Brock has been doing something. We pan down to the unconscious Dominick and Lesnar laughs.
Post break, Rey and Cain are checking on Dominick in the trainer’s room. Lesnar comes in with a trashcan to clean house, including an F5 to send Mysterio into the wall and another F5 to drop Cain onto Dominick.
Post break Velasquez shouts about Brock in Spanish and seems to swear vengeance.
Cesaro/King Corbin/Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Roman Reigns/Ali/Shorty G.
Hogan and Flair are here too. Team Flair jumps them at the bell and the fight is on outside, with Jimmy Hart having to hold Hogan back. Reigns and Corbin take turns hammering away at each other in the corner and Roman nails the Samoan drop for two. Nakamura comes in and gets hit in the face so it’s off to Gable (Cole said his old name so it’s good enough for me) to work on the arm.
Of course Gable can wrestle Nakamura down without much trouble as Cole brings up Gable’s Olympic career, with Graves pointing out that he looks like he belongs on the Tune Squad. Ignoring the fact that almost no fans under the age of twenty five are going to get that reference, that’s quite the mixed look at Gable. Ali comes in for a running hurricanrana to Cesaro, who muscles him over with a gutwrench suplex. Team Flair takes turns sending Ali to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Ali trying to fight back but having his tornado DDT blocked. Instead Cesaro picks him up by the throat, only to have Ali plant him with a DDT. Nakamura and Corbin break up the hot tag attempt though, only to have Ali enziguri Corbin. That’s enough for the tag to Gable, who suplexes Nakamura and neckbreakers Corbin. The moonsault gets two on Corbin (with Hogan in one of his elements as a cheerleader on the floor) and there’s a suplex to Cesaro.
Nakamura breaks up the ankle lock with a running knee so he and Corbin put Gable on top. That earns them a double missile dropkick and the hot tag brings in Reigns for the house cleaning. Cesaro takes Reigns down though and the Sharpshooter goes on until Ali breaks it up with a superkick. Everything breaks down and it’s the parade of secondary finishers. Reigns Superman punches Cesaro out of the air and hits the spear, setting up Ali’s 450 for the pin at 15:03.
Rating: B-. They took their time to get started here but once it was clicking, everything started to roll. The post break stuff was rather entertaining and Ali getting the pin was a nice touch. I’m not exactly thrilled in the ten man tag as it’s likely to go a long time and not be very interesting, but at least the six man version was pretty good.
Overall Rating: D. Oh I did not like this show. While it did pick WAY up starting with the Bryan segment, the rest of the show was a complete mess with the build to Crown Jewel taking over everything, even if it wrecked whatever else might be going on. In other words, if you’re not on Crown Jewel, your appearance here didn’t matter in the slightest. It’s another example of WWE trying to cram in so much stuff and the shows suffering as a result.
We’re less than a month away from Survivor Series and the show has not been mentioned once on WWE TV. By the time it is, which if we’re lucky will be next Friday (when the Smackdown roster is completely gassed from flying around the world in a day), when we’re about three weeks away. Then three weeks after that it’s TLC, with the Starrcade special in the middle. WWE has gotten a lot worse about this overdoing it lately and it’s really, really getting to be a problem. Just let things breathe for once so your fans aren’t so burned out. Why is that so much to ask?
Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode b. New Day – Rollup with tights to Kingston
Lacey Evans b. Camron Connors – Woman’s Right
Kalisto b. Drew Gulak – Salida Del Sol
Nikki Cross b. Mandy Rose – Purge
Ali/Shorty G./Roman Reigns b. Cesaro/King Corbin/Shinsuke Nakamura – 450 to Cesaro
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