Mike Reviews: ECW Hardcore TV #339 – 23/10/2019

Hello You!

I felt last week’s show felt rather flat, so hopefully this episode has a bit more bite to it, especially as we’re not too far away from November to Remember, the event that was usually ECW’s version of WrestleMania/Starrcade.

As always, you can read a recap of the previous episode of ECW on TNN prior to this issue of Hardcore TV from Mr. Scott Keith by clicking right HERE!

So with all that dealt with, let’s wrap a some mushrooms in barbed wire, sauté them gently with some potatoes dipped in broken glass and then simmer for a couple of hours in the tears of the censors as we once again take things to The Extreme!!!

Today’s matches were taped from New Orleans, Louisiana

Calling the action is Joey Styles

We open up with a backstage promo from Rob Van Dam and his manager Bill Alfonso. RVD muses who his opponent at November to Remember will be. Err, they announced it as Taz last week Rob, I think you might have had a few too many brownies the past couple of days. RVD notably takes a pot shot at Sabu as well, which leads to Fonzie standing up for his other client. Sabu tries storming in to attack RVD, but security charges in to drag him off. RVD challenges Sabu and says he’ll even put his ECW TV Title on the line against him for good measure.

Show Intro: This week’s tagline is “If You Miss This Year’s November to Remember, It’ll Be A Regret You Never Forget”. We actually get an RVD focused opening montage, not unlike the Impact Players one from last week. We eventually see the rest of the roster show up as well (Including a super old clip of Mike Awesome destroying poor JT Smith from back in 1994)

Joey Styles is in front of the ECW Banner, where he hypes up that RVD will defend his TV Title against Sabu at the ECW Arena this weekend and the winner will face Taz at November to Remember. Also at the Arena, Jerry Lynn Vs Tajiri, Chris Candido Vs Nova, Balls and Axl Vs Da Baldies, Mike Awesome defends his ECW Title and the main event will be Raven and Dreamer against The Impact Players.

COMMERCIAL

Opening Match
Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten Vs CW Anderson and Wild Bill Whiles

CW and Wiles would actually stay as a team following this. For those not au fait, CW’s whole act is that he looks a bit like one of the Anderson family, so he does spots like the spine buster to play off on it. Balls and Axl shine on the heels to start with some actual wrestling, which leads to Da Baldies street gang of Tony DeVito, Vito Lograsso and Spanish Angel joining us.

Balls and Axl pay them no mind and continue to control things until CW is able to catch Balls with a spine buster for the cut off. CW and While work Balls over for a bit but Balls is able to catch CW with a spine buster of his own and then makes in the tag to Axl. Axl runs wild and brings in the chairs, which leads to him taking a shot from both of the babyfaces for the three count.

WINNERS: BALLS AND AXL
RATING: *1/2

I preferred Balls’ team with Spike Dudley personally, as Axl was way past it at this stage. Seeing Spikey-Balls get to work with teams other than The Dudleyz would have potentially been interesting. The match was pretty short, but they followed the tag formula and nothing was actively bad.

Axl grabs a mic post-match and calls Da Baldies “curtain jerkers”. Angel officially names the group as such, which leads to Axl challenging them to get into the ring. Vito calls the other two off though and walks them to the back to fight another day. Joey says they’ll fight at the ECW Arena on Saturday.

We get clips of Tammy Sytch posing in bikini’s, which leads to Joey hyping clips of Dawn Marie beating her up after the break.

COMMERCIAL

We get clips from the TNN Show, as Chris Candido rescues Nova from a three on one attack from Danny Doring, Roadkill and Miss Congeniality. Nova and Candido clear the ring, but Lance Storm and Dawn Marie turn the odds again. Congeniality holds Tammy, which allows Dawn to work over Tammy’s posterior with a paddle. Dawn and Congeniality look to be new pals, but Dawn attacks her as well because…

Thanks, Cenk.

Anyway, Dawn lays down a challenge for Francine, which brings Francine and Tommy Dreamer down to the ring for a cat fight and brawl respectively. Justin Credible comes out to help Storm, which leads to Raven coming down to rescue Dreamer, only to then DDT him for good measure as their relationship continues to be tempestuous.

This was the usual messy segment of a million run ins that Heyman liked to do, but it continued the story of Dawn wanting to be the last woman standing in ECW and also set up the feud between Raven/Dreamer and Storm/Credible over the tag belts. It was cool as well that Nova got a chance to be in a segment that included guys like Candido, Dreamer and Raven, as ECW needs to make a big effort in creating some new stars now that the likes of The Dudley Boyz, Shane Douglas and Taz have all jumped ship to other promotions.

COMMERCIAL

Joey is back in front of the ECW Banner, where he continues to hype up the ECW Arena show, outright saying the TNN viewers will be jealous of it. Joey does assuage us all non-Philadelphians though by saying we can get results on the ECW hotline and view some naughty pics of the ECW women on the ECW website. We also get big hype for Taz Vs Sabu on next week’s TNN Show, which at least is an attempt to get people to watch their NATIONAL television show that they took so long to acquire.

COMMERCIAL

Main Event
Danny Doring and Roadkill w/ Miss Congeniality Vs The Impact Players of Justin Credible and Lance Storm w/ Jason and Dawn Marie

This match is a result of Dawn turning on Congeniality in the segment from earlier, although both teams still appear to be heels. Doring and Storm do some chain wrestling to start and, though Storm is clearly the better of the two, Doring holds his own. Congeniality and Dawn trip up Storm and Doring respectively, which leads to the two women wanting to fight it out with one another. Everyone jumps in to stop that however, much to the crowd’s annoyance, and that leads us to Roadkill and Credible going at it.

Again, it’s nice to see lads like Doring and Roadkill getting a chance to go at it with more experienced guys who are higher up the card, as it helps them improve and also gives them a bit of a rub as well. Doring and Roadkill manage to double team Credible for a bit, but Storm interferes  and that allows The Impact Players to cut Doring off and work him over. Eventually Doring and Storm hit one another with a double clothesline, but Credible gets the tag before Doring does and stops him from getting to Roadkill.

Doring won’t be denied though and fights off both Impact Players before bringing in Roadkill for a pretty darn good hot tag spot. Lancaster Lariat of Lust (Hart Attack) looks to end Storm, but the Canadian is able to kick out at two. Credible and Storm cut off Roadkill and then bring a table into the ring, but Credible goes through it as The Impact Players are doing everything they can to try and put the younger guys over. Congeniality lays out Jason with a low blow, but Dawn then lays her out in quick succession, as this match is getting crazier by the minute.

Doring and Roadkill try to avenge their valet by going after Dawn, but The Impact Players break that up, with Credible bringing his trademark Singapore cane into the ring. A super kick and a cane shot finally put the game Doring and Roadkill away, but they gained a lot from that match before finally being defeated.

WINNERS: THE IMPACT PLAYERS
RATING: ***

This was a fun bout and I have to give credit to Storm and Credible for going out of their way to try and make the kids look good, even going so far as to get cheap victory just to really ram home how close they were to losing. In a business where such professionalism and generosity can be at a premium, it was nice to see two top heels go out there and really try to make a younger team look good. Ultimately the end result was a good TV main event that elevated Doring and Roadkill whilst putting more heat on Storm and Credible for being jerks. How they’ve booked The Impact Players recently has been spot on and a vast improvement from the early months of the team where they would lose every time they wrestled but then beat the winners up to get their non-existent “heat” back.

COMMERCIAL

Joey is back in front of the ECW Banner and hypes up the ECW Arena event AGAIN. Bloody hell, they’re hyping this Arena show more than they do most pay per view events!

We close out with The Impact Players video from last week.

In Conclusion

As jarring and annoying as it was to keep seeing a house show promoted above TV and pay per view events, I can’t deny that I’m not intrigued by what happened. Hopefully we’ll get to see some of it on Hardcore TV next week?

In-ring wise, the main event was a lot of fun and the opener wasn’t offensive or anything like that, so I’d have to give that aspect of the show a thumbs up. On the Brightside, we’ll at least know for sure who RVD’s challenger for November to Remember will be following this mythical ECW Arena show, which combined with the already confirmed Mike Awesome Vs Masato Tanaka ECW Title match should give the show a powerful one-two punch to close out on.