The SmarK Rant for Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling – 02.01.86
Taped from Charlotte, NC
Your hosts are Bob Caudle & Johnny Weaver
Last week: The Midnight Express attacks the Rock N Roll Express and lays them out yet again.
And we have Arn Anderson to start and a NEW BACKDROP!
Pretty sexy. Arn, meanwhile, is offended that Dusty Rhodes is still wearing a protective boot when he has no need of it. But that’s OK, because now there’s MARTIAL LAW and it’s every man for himself.
Sam Houston v. Mac Jeffers
Mac attacks from the back, but gets smacked at 0:51 with the bulldog. That’s kinda whack.
Tully Blanchard again shows us the footage of himself piledriving Jimmy Valiant, and Jimmy wants taped fist matches, which is fine with Tully. He’s gonna be like Tony Tubbs looking for a place to hide when it’s all over! I assume that reference meant something in 1986, but I’ve got nothing.
Tony Schiavone chats with Dr. Joseph Estwanik about Dusty’s foot injury and all the great progress that has been made with rehab. And now even the doctor is saying Dusty doesn’t need the boot, showing that ARN WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG.
Baby Doll comments on the boot situation, and she claims that he never wore it as a weapon, merely as protection. Just like rednecks who buy AK-47s for home defense, I’m assuming.
Baron Von Raschke v. Rocky King
Johnny Weaver is still reminiscing about the glory days of Baron and Paul Jones as a tag team a decade back. Baron beats on King and gets a backbreaker, but Rocky fights back until Baron puts him down with a knee and a back elbow. The clawhold finishes at 1:54, even with the giant afro protecting him. Johnny Weaver REALLY loves the Baron for some reason.
Paul Jones’ Army join us and Paul has $10,000 for anyone who can defeat the Ballbearing in a tug of war and 550 pound bench press. Baron is pretty sure they’ve got this Road Warrior thing under control, too.
Ronnie Garvin v. Vern Deaton
Garvin takes him down with a facelock and tortures the poor guy for a bit, then twists him up with an armbar. Hands of Stone finishes at 2:00.
The Rock N Roll Express are talking directly to Jim Cornette today, and his schemes did not work. So they’re gonna get a hold of his neck and do as much damage to him as he did to them.
The Midnight Express v. Denny Brown & Pez Whatley
Bobby is wearing a strange purple singlet this week, complete with shoulder strap. Pez takes him down with a flying headscissors and Brown comes in with a forearm and slugs away, then hits Condrey with a bodypress for two. Denny works the arm with a hammerlock and Pez comes in , but immediately gets cut off and beat up. Bobby goes up and hits a flying elbow for two, but Pez fights back and Denny gets a hot tag. Bobby takes him down with a facelock, however, and Condrey comes in with a butterfly suplex for two. Double elbow finishes at 4:02. That was an oddly subdued finish for the Midnights. Nice little squash though.
Pistol Pez and Sam Houston have another interview segment, even though I don’t think I’ve ever seen them team up ever in my life. Sam relates all the stuff he’s learned since winning the prestigious Mid-Atlantic heavyweight title two weeks ago, and I think they’re lessons we can all learn from. You’ll just have to watch the show to find out what they are, though. I can’t put in the work for you.
Manny Fernandez v. Tony Zane
Manny slugs him down and puts him down with a shoulderblock and dropkick. They do the test of strength and Manny works the arm and beats on him in the corner, and the FLYING BURRITO finishes at 2:14.
Cowboy Ron Bass is turned on by the very idea of winning $10,000 from Paul Jones and he’d like to clarify the rules before they proceed with this challenge. Better Call Saul!
Jimmy Valiant is talkin’ to Tully and JJ, and no one has ever dropped him on his head quite like they did. So yeah, he wants a taped fist match. Not sure how that logically follows from the setup, but sure.
The Midnight Express are again sick of getting overwhelmed by teeny-boppers whining about how they injured Ricky Morton. Obviously he wasn’t going to beat Ric Flair because he’s the greatest, so he’s going after the World tag titles instead. Makes sense.
The Rock N Roll Express v. Ben Alexander & Gene Ligon
Can I just say that I love that the Network has put a timeline at the bottom of these shows now, giving jobber names again and allowing me to jump to certain matches? FANTASTIC. Once again, the crowd’s thunderous reaction to the RNR gets cut out by music rights. Ligon tries a blind charge on Robert and misses, and Robert works a headlock and brings him to the babyface corner some double-teaming. Ricky gets a bodypress for two and rolls up Alexander, then brings in Robert for another headlock. Way to stay in your lane, Robert. Ligon and Alexander actually work Gibson over for a bit with their own headlocks, but the RNR regroup and put Ligon away with the double dropkick at 2:40. The graphic notes that they are the “Golden Express of Success”. I should have been writing these back in 1986. Didn’t you read my bit with the Sam Houston match? I’m a natural!
Sam Houston is back again for another interview, since it’s been nearly 30 minutes since someone put over Dusty Rhodes and how great he is, even when he’s not there. Thankfully Sam fills that niche.
Manny Fernandez is here and coked up as usual and from what I can glean together, Arn Anderson is apparently Little Bo Peep and has lost his sheep, but he will soon get the Bull. Ron Garvin: “Well said, Bull”. Really? I think that’s a pretty generous assessment.
World TV title: Arn Anderson v. The Italian Stallion
Stallion chases him out of the ring to start and Johnny Weaver is sure this means a TV title change is imminent, but Arn regroups with a neck vice and drops a knee to take over. Back to the neck vice as Arn controls on the mat, but Baby Doll comes out to do commentary and she’s bitching that Dusty never lost the TV title and thus Dusty should rightfully be champion still. Wasn’t he already National champion? How many belts does this egomaniac need? And I should point out that Buddy Landel never got beat for THAT title! Arn gets all distracted and stops to yell at Baby Doll at ringside, so the Stallion makes the comeback and it’s trouble. BAD TROUBLE. So he gets an elbow and a small package for two and Weaver is still sure the Stallion has this wrapped up, but Arn casually cuts him off and finishes with the gourdbuster at 6:05.
JJ Dillon would like to set the record straight and counter the lies and FAKE NEWS told by Jimmy Valiant earlier. He did NOT assist Tully with the piledriver, because in fact he was holding all of Tully’s valuable jewelry and did not have a hand free to do so.
And with that, we wrap it up for another week!