The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN–10.15.99

The SmarK Rant for ECW Wrestling on TNN – 10.15.99

Could this be the week where they actually use the taping footage that TNN paid for? Stay tuned to find out!

Taped from Houma, LA

Your hosts are Joey Styles & Joel Gertner

Lance Storm v. Chris Candido

Storm says mean stuff to Tammy before the match, calling her “a has-been at 26” and notes that she should “revert back to her old habits” and take a powder. Storm’s got a point given how she looked last week. This of course triggers a big brawl and we hit the opening credits.

David Cash v. Tom Marquez

I guess this is the actual opener and the other one was just the teaser. But it doesn’t matter, because Steve Corino and Rhyno hit the ring and destroy both guys, then go for the cheap heat on the Saints players in the front row. Things get heated, but Tommy Dreamer makes the save and we take a break.

Steve Corino v. Tommy Dreamer

So I guess this is a match now, and they brawl up into the crowd and up onto the bleachers, where you can barely see them thanks to bad lighting and weird camera angles. So something happens out there and Tommy ends up with a tripod around his neck and it’s back to the ring again. Corino gets his pants yanked down and Tommy spanks him with a chair to set up a superplex, but Corino comes back with a leg lariat to take over and then sets up a chair. The gag in this case is that he sits down and applies a front facelock. Dreamer escapes that predicament and tries a DDT on the chair, but Corino slams him on it and then beats up the ref for fun. Corino charges and crotches himself, allowing Dreamer to get the Tarantula while Francine takes out Jack Victory, but Tajiri runs in now and chases her off. And then Raven comes in and saves, but then DDTs Dreamer, and Corino gets two, but Dreamer cradles for the pin at 8:05. This was the very definition of smoke and mirrors. *1/2

Chris Candido v. Lance Storm

Trying it a second time. Storm fires away with chops in the corner and Candido thumbs the eye to escape and blocks a superkick with a clothesline. The thing where Joey overcalls the early part of the match (“LEAP FROG INTO A DROPDOWN!”) drives me nuts. Just let them do their thing. Candido with a middle rope legdrop for two, but Storm dropkicks him into the corner and once again accuses Tammy of being a has-been. Candido with a very delayed suplex for two and he dumps Storm to the railing and follows with a dive, but Storm regains control and comes back in with a springboard clothesline for two. Storm goes up and Tammy crotches him, allowing Candido to hit a superplex, and he follows with a diving headbutt. So now Dawn Marie, Justin Credible, and Jason all run in and the ladies brawl, which allows Storm to finish with a cradle piledriver at 6:20. Candido looked somewhat motivated here but the match was only so-so. **

Mike Awesome v. Rod Price

Gertner gets a funny line talking about Price’s manager The Ragin’ Cajun, noting that he comes from a part of the country where you can be a five star hotel by having a door on the outhouse. Awesome tosses Price right away and follows with a dive, but Price legsweeps him into the railing. Back in, Price with a back elbow for two and a powerslam for two. Awesome comes back with a german suplex and then brings in a table and powerbombs Price through it, then powerbombs the doofus manager through a table on the floor as well because I doubt Price was able to take that bump. Flying splash finishes at 3:20. Rod Price was one of the worst wrestlers on the planet when he was young, and this was old and broken down Price. ½*

And we finish the last 10 minutes of the show with a series of Pulp Fiction promos (although “Miseralou” is replaced, obviously) including such highlights as Miss Congeniality farting and clipping her toenails, and Raven walking around Bourbon Street at 5:00AM. I’m pretty astonished that Paul Heyman had Lita and couldn’t figure out how to use her. Really, they couldn’t spread some of this out over the rest of the show?

Amazingly, this was highest rated episode of the show yet, doubling the Tammy Sytch show with a 1.18 rating. Dave’s theory at the time was that they were squeezing whatever star power Tammy Sytch had left for all it was worth. At least this had all fresh material, so that’s a win in my books.