Night Of Champions 2009
Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian (ECW World Title)
This is following the debut of JeriShow and a hot CM Punk promo so no pressure lads.
Dreamer vowed to retire if he couldn’t win the ECW title by a certain date, something he managed on the last possible day by pinning Jack Swagger in a Three Way Dance. Christian lost the title without taking the fall so he’s been saltier than Lot’s wife.
Dreamer is out first but we’re in Philly so the fans are used to it. Both men go move-for-move until Dreamer catches the rope-swing back-kick. Dreamer tries for a suplex to the outside but Christian only takes backdrop bumps over the ropes so he responds with a dropkick to bounce Tommy off the apron like in No Mercy 64. Dreamer dodges a middle-rope crossbody to the outside and follows with The Cannonball off the apron. Crowd is reacting like it’s a 205 Live Kickoff match so they’re Tennis Clapping everything politely. Killswitch gets countered into a backdrop gets countered into a Jarrett sleeper gets countered into falling backwards. Christian goes back to the sleeper hold but Dreamer counters by flinging both of them out the ring in a hell of a counter. Both men avoid getting counted out so Dreamer can land the E-gasp-C-wheeze-W-urghh Tree Of Woe and a two-count from a Sky High. Love Tommy running out of ECW guys to borrow moves from so he just decided to take D’Lo’s finisher. Dreamer tries for a Pumphandle Slam (shades of ECW legend Test) but Christian ends it (shades of ECW legend Test) with a Reverse DDT. Christian gets caught flying off the top rope and into a Texas Cloverleaf because he shook Malenko’s hand one time. Christian gets to the rope and revs up the comeback engine with the rope-swing back-kick. Christian tries for the Killswitch which gets turned into a DDT which gets turned back into a Killswitch to give us a new champ.
Winner and new ECW World Champion: Christian (Very decent, straightforward match with Dreamer putting on his big-boy wrestling trousers and wrestling without gimmicks everywhere.)
ECW on Syfy 07/28/09
Tyler Reks vs. Paul Burchill
Reks must have emerged from a door and let all the heat out as I’ve never seen an opening much suck the initial WE’RE ON TV WOOO pop away like Tyler. This is a rematch from last week because Reks wants revenge after Paul attacked him post-match and if you didn’t read last week’s write-up I bet you’re regretting it after reading that description. Burchill pulls Reks off the top rope after his
bit on the side sister distracts the ref which doesn’t make sense as it’s not illegal to pull a guy off. Top rope knee drop and running back senton sends us straight into rest hold land but thankfully the crowd knows they have to react if they want these matches to end. Josh makes a comment about Burchill “just waiting for his opportunity to shine” and Striker no-sells him with a flat “OK.” Burchill gets a pair of flying knees in the corner and follows with a Saito Suplex which is completely the wrong place for that cool of a move. Reks comes back and actually gets a reaction for clotheslining Burchill out the ring and following with a crossbody. Reks counters getting thrown into the ring-post by using his momentum to go around it and convert it into a springboard dropkick for the pin.
Winner: Tyler Reks (That was an impressive zero-to-something match for Reks as the crowd gave him literally nothing but were applauding for him by the end so well done generic surfer dude.)
Kozlov vs. Bill Baine
We’re in Baltimore, MD so it makes sense to have one of the stars of The Wire wrestling.
Baine doesn’t even have a cagematch profile so I’m not sure he exists. Iron Curtain, pin.
BUT THEN Ezekiel Jackson appears post-match to respond to Kozlov’s post-match jobber beat-down from last week. Zeke ignores the “U-S-A” chant to destroy Kozlov’s jobber and walks away and every minute we’re closer to Regal’s Roundtable.
GM-because-no-one-else-wants-the-job Tiffany talks to Shelton Benjamin who informs him he’s not entertaining enough to be on the Abraham Washington Show. Shelton isn’t happy when Gregory Helms shows up so he must have been watching Smackdown 2006.
Sheamus vs. Goldust
Goldust’s role on the show is to make newbies look credible so this being wrestling, he’s the one headlining PPVs a decade later while Sheamus is stuck doing gym videos. Sheamus controls the match with dull striking as the production team does their best to avoid zooming in on the patches of bacne the corpse paint can’t cover up. Crowd is pro-Goldust and goes BANANA when he busts out the classics like fall-on-floor-and-punch-up. Sheamus is alarmingly green so poor Dustin has to yell spots without even trying to hide it. Eventually a Pump Kick and Irish Curse ends it.
Winner: Sheamus (Sheamus was so fresh he was leaving moist stains everywhere. Complete carry job from Goldust while I wondered if Sheamus is even employed today.)
Christian shows off his new title and puts over Dreamer. Dreamer is gracious too, so gracious he informs Christian their rematch is next week and will be Extreme Rules. What a nice guy.
Christian vs. Zack Ryder
The match starts during the advert break so because he’s not wrestling this week, here’s the appropriate time to be linking to this.
Crowd is pro-Christian despite this nothing-arse match because there hasn’t been an Abraham Washington appearance to drain their sanity. Christian tears apart Zack for the first few minutes but eventually he counters an Irish Whip. If you’ve not been following these shows, Ryder is only a month and a half into the OOOOO RADIO part of his career and has’t been established yet. Christian starts playing his greatest hits but then an advert break does a run-in and Ryder proceeds to progressively pound Christian. And the battle of the action figure collectors has gone from Quick Squash to Ryder Showcase. Christian takes a Superplex but is able to fight off Ryder and throws two (yes two) Missile Dropkicks for a near-fall. Ryder halts the second-rope crossbody and gets the Rough Ryder but it doesn’t have a name so Christian kicks out. Striker starts hyping up Ryder (“I’ve officially become a Zack Ryder fan!”) as Zack won’t stay down and keeps on countering moves until Christian manages a hefty Killswitch to finally put him away and get half the crowd on their feet.
Winner: Christian (Where the hell did this come from? If they’d given Ryder any build this would have been the Syfy version of 1-2-3 Kid vs. Bret Hart but it was still a surprisingly competitive match for no real reason and I approve.)
Overall: Turns out having a crowd give a shit can make a world of difference to a show’s quality with the Ryder vs. Christian match standing out as well as spotting that one guy who wears a green shirt front-row of every WWE show dressed differently.