Impact Wrestling – August 16, 2019

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 16, 2019
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Don Callis

Impact has been going up and down as of late with some of the stories being better than others and some good enough shows. It’s not the best show in the world but at least they have enough stuff going on that I can remember it for a change. That’s more than they’ve had going for them in the past so at least there are some positives around here. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Moose vs. Fallah Bahh

Rematch from two weeks ago when Bahh beat him in about a minute. You really can see how much weight Bahh has lost and that’s a good thing. Moose gets smart by stomping on the bare foot and sending Bahh outside, setting up a pump kick against the barricade. You don’t do that to someone like Bahh, who crushes Moose with a running crossbody. A splash on the ramp makes it even worse but Moose goes for the eyes to take over.

Some slow kicks to the face let Moose call Bahh a fat piece of garbage so Bahh shouts his name a lot. The Samoan drop takes Moose down and a rolling belly to belly gets two. Moose crushes him in the corner though and manages a top rope superplex (not bad) but the spear hits buckle. The Banzai Drop misses though and it’s No Jackhammer Needed to give Moose the pin at 8:52.

Rating: D+. Bahh slimming down makes him look better but it takes away one of the best things he had going for him. Moose seems to be flailing for something to do at the moment, which is why he’s stuck facing Fallah Bahh in a two match series for whatever reason. At this point he needs to get into the World Title picture or change things up because he’s stuck in that weird not quite ready for the top spot but too big for the midcard limbo.

Tommy Dreamer comes in to see Tessa Blanchard and gives her a history lesson on….her family. It took others to make her family a success and now Tessa needs help to get through OVE. Dreamer wants to stand with her to improve this business so she’s with him. Good grief Dreamer couldn’t be more forced into this story if his career (which has gone on for thirty years and he respects the business so freaking much) depended on it.

Video on Su Yung.

Kiera Hogan/Madison Rayne vs. Jordynne Grace/Alexia Nicole

Fallout from Kiera and Madison beating up Nicole last week. Kiera jumps Nicole before the bell and it’s already time for some villainous double teaming. A sliding basement clothesline gives Madison two but she stops to GRR at the referee, allowing Alexia to hit a running Meteora. We take a break and come back with Madison chinlocking Alexia.

Some yelling at the referee lets Madison poke Alexia in the eye and it’s Hogan coming in for a basement dropkick. Alexia pops up and gets over for the tag to Grace as everything breaks down. Alexia hits a high crossbody on Hogan but Madison is legal. Said legal Madison hits CrossRayne to finish Nicole at 9:41.

Rating: D+. This story continues to not do much for me as I’m not even sure why they’re fighting. I guess Grace doesn’t like Rayne acting like a big shot but since Impact doesn’t know how to let things go or advance them a lot of the time, we’re likely to be watching these same people feud for a good while.

Post match the brawl continues but the lights go out and it’s Rosemary to chase off Rayne and Hogan.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Gail Kim vs. Awesome Kong from Bound For Glory 2015.

Alisha Edwards comes up to Ace Austin in the back. Ace is fearing for his safety from Eddie Edwards but Alisha insists they’re just friends. She’ll worry about Eddie.

Post break, Ace lays down when he sees Alisha coming but here’s Eddie to beat him up when he sees the two of them together.

Taya Valkyrie is in California and has John E. Bravo do various things for her, mainly including taking care of her dog.

Rhyno and Michael Elgin are fighting outside.

Rascalz vs. Willie Mack/Rich Swann/Rob Van Dam

This could be interesting. The Rascalz, and the fans, want Van Dam to start and they get their wish, with Rob kicking Wentz into the corner for the tag off to Xavier. Mack kicks him as well and a running elbow gets two. Swann comes in for a dropkick of his own as it’s one sided so far. A shot to the face sends Swann into the corner and it’s Miguel coming in to chop away. The slingshot hilo gets two on Swann and the fans want RVD. Instead they get an enziguri to Swann for two more but Swann slips out of a double backbreaker.

A cutter drops Miguel and there’s the hot tag to Van Dam. The split legged moonsault gets two on Wentz and Mack’s standing moonsault into Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder is good for two more. Everything breaks down but the push moonsault is broken up. Wentz and Swann chop it out and the pace picks up with Swann getting the better of it. Van Dam hits the Five Star and Swann drops the Phoenix splash for the pin on Wentz at 13:01.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t as good as it could have been but having Van Dam as the one to come in and clean house with his signature stuff is the best thing for him at the moment. Swann and Mack are potential future superstars around here and putting them with a big name is a good idea. Keep that up, as long as Van Dam doesn’t get the spotlight.

The North says they’re going to California to defend the Tag Team Titles at Cali Combat next week.

Jake Crist comes in to laugh at the Rascalz, Swann and Mack. Some glares send him running.

Deaners vs. Desi Hit Squad

The losers are the winners servants, meaning this feud is going to continue beyond tonight. It’s a brawl to start with everyone going out to the floor and the Deaners getting the better of things. Raj gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and a knee knocks him back off. The Squad is right back up for a double suplex on Jake do Cody comes in for a clothesline.

Back from a break with Raju raking Cody’s eyes, leaving Gama to low bridge Cody to the floor. Cody gets caught in the Squad’s corner with Gama getting in a cheap shot from the outside. Raj rips at Cody’s face (it might be an improvement) but Cody kicks Raju away. That’s not enough for the tag though as Raj pulls Jake off the apron. A sidestep sends Raj outside and now the hot tag can bring in Jake.

Everything breaks down and Cody hits a suicide dive, followed by Jake’s running dive. Back in and Jake hits a Michinoku Driver for two on Raj and things settle back down. Gama’s distraction lets Raju get a rollup for two more as everything breaks down again. An assisted top rope double stomp gets two on Cody but Raju’s Cannonball is caught in the corner. Raju is sent outside and it’s the assisted suplex into the Side Effect (CTD) for the pin on Raj at 14:49.

Rating: D. Yeah THIS MATCH just got nearly fifteen minutes and I don’t get why either. We’ve spent how many weeks on this culture clash feud and now it’s going to be even longer. The segments will probably be funny enough but that doesn’t make up for having to watch these four have such an uninteresting rivalry for so many weeks. The match could have been worse, but that’s not much in the way of praise.

Sami Callihan wants to know where Jake Crist is but switches over to threatening Tommy and Tessa. She will NEVER beat him and tonight will be exactly like any other night.

The Deaners are ready to make the Squad work on their farm. Why can I not get the dueling banjo music out of my head?

Sami Callihan/Dave Crist vs. Tessa Blanchard/Tommy Dreamer

At least Tommy doesn’t get the last entrance. They start fast with Tommy and Tessa trying stereo Bionic Elbows (because the BLANCHARDS just love Dusty Rhodes) but have to settle for kicks to the face instead. Everything breaks down early on and Tommy hits a double clothesline off the apron. Tessa hits a top rope dive of her own (landing on her feet of course) and we take a break.

Back with Dreamer handing Tessa a beer from the crowd (I bet Dusty Rhodes would like a beer, but he’s gone so consider this the next tribute from Dreamer) so she can spit it in Sami’s face. Dreamer does it to Dave (passing it on to the next generation you might say) and we settle down to Sami begging off from Tessa inside. Everything breaks down again in record time with all four heading back outside.

Dave catapults Dreamer throat first into the barricade (add that to the list of injuries he’ll talk about for the next 15 years) and takes it back inside to crank on both of Dreamer’s arms. Staying down in a hold like that would damage the industry though so Dreamer is right back up, only to have Sami take him into the corner. Dreamer fights back using the power of tears over his memories of wrestling but Tessa gets pulled off the apron. Double Bionic elbows and the diving tag bring in Tessa (with a scary look on her face as she cleans house).

A running Codebreaker out of the corner gets two on Dave as everything breaks down and the ref gets bumped. Double DDTs lay out OVE (Because Dreamer stole that move too. Does he actually do ANYTHING original? Other than the Tommyhawk, which was awesome, that is.) with a second referee running in for two. Dreamer loads up a piledriver with THUMBS UP THUMBS DOWN (The Repo Man didn’t steal this much stuff!) but stereo low blows put….well just Dreamer down as Tessa glares at Dave for not thinking it through. Magnum with a kendo stick finishes Dave at 13:49.

Rating: C-. Did I ever tell you about the time that Tommy Dreamer did something in wrestling? The exact thing doesn’t matter because it’s probably something that has been done a million times, but he did it while looking sad, drinking a beer, hitting someone with a kendo stick an hour after wearing a shirt that talked about some famous wrestler.

But he just wants to help the business, including his House of Hardcore promotion, which is in no way another attempt to cash in on ECW’s legacy again and again because he’s never done anything noteworthy not associated with ECW. If you’ve never heard that story before, don’t worry because he’ll probably do it again in a week.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a miss as there just wasn’t enough good stuff to warrant half an hour of Deaners/Squad/Dreamer. Tessa doesn’t need Dreamer helping her out so he can steal more of her spotlight, especially after Swann, a young star who could go a long way around here, offered to help her last week. It’s a spot where someone could get a nice rub but instead it’s Dreamer for no logical reason whatsoever. The rest of the show was skippable aside from the six man tag, which hopefully isn’t a new trend around here. Hopefully they bounce back next week because this was a rough sit.

Results

Moose b. Fallah Bahh – No Jackhammer Needed

Kiera Hogan/Madison Rayne b. Jordynne Grace/Alexia Nicole – CrossRayne to Nicole

Rob Van Dam/Rich Swann/Willie Mack b. Rascalz – Phoenix splash to Wentz

Deaners b. Desi Hit Squad – CTD to Singh

Tessa Blanchard/Tommy Dreamer b. Dave Crist/Sami Callihan – Magnum to Crist

Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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