Mike Reviews: ECW Hardcore TV #329 – 14/08/1999

Hello You!

With G1 Climax finally coming to a close (You can find reviews of every night of the tournament in my archives) I can focus a bit more on Hardcore TV again. Thankfully Blog Head Honcho Scott Keith has started reviewing ECW on TNN, which is awesome because not only is it cool to see him review some ECW but it also means I won’t have to add an extra show to my schedule every week.

Buy anyway, let’s knuckle down and take things to The Extreme!!!

The show is emanating from the ECW Arena in Philly

Calling the action is Joey Styles

We open up with a recap of last week, where Steve Corino and his gang of goons called out Tommy Dreamer to the ring at the ECW Arena and beat him up until ECW Champ came down to rescue him.

Following that, we get the Show Intro. This weeks Tagline is “From The Place Where It All Began, The ECW Arena”

Joey is in front of the ECW Banner and recaps the storyline between Corino, Tajiri, Taz and Tommy Dreamer. Joey reminds us that Taz still hasn’t managed to get his hands on Corino yet, but assures us that it will happen. Joey then says that next week we’re going to have a rematch from Heatwave 99, as Jason will take on Jazz. Joey then sends to the first match from Heatwave. I’ll just copy and paste my review from that match below

ECW Heatwave 1999
Jason Vs Jazz

This match had a whole hour of build on TV, as Jazz randomly decided out of nowhere on the last episode of Hardcore TV that she no longer wanted to be a heel, despite there being no hint previously that this was the case, and now we have a match. As a result the issue isn’t especially over with the crowd as the angle only went to air the day before this event.

Jason overpowers Jazz to start and catches her on a cross body before getting a slam. Jazz replies with a slam of her own and runs wild for a brief period before getting clotheslined by Jason. Jazz keeps coming however and dodges a leg drop before getting a rolling neck snap and the crowd are actually with her here.

Jason works Jazz over for a while, with her making the odd sporadic comeback. Jason’s execution on the moves isn’t bad, but watching this you can kind of see why they moved him in to a managerial role instead of having him as a full time wrestler. Jazz eventually manages to snap suplex Jason for a good pop and then adds a Samoan Drop for two.

Jazz head butts Jason right in the sexiest balls on Earth and then heads outside to grab some chairs. Jazz hits one chair into Jason’s crotch for another primo low blow spot, but Jason manages to reply with an enziguri and sets Jazz up for a powerbomb onto one of the chairs. Jazz slips out however and then hits the Jazz Stinger (Think X-Pac’s X-Factor move) onto the chair to pick up the win.

WINNER: JAZZ
RATING: **

That was fine actually. Jason took his lumps to get Jazz over and by the end of the match the crowd were in to her. Let’s see if other members of the roster are as generous going forward.

Following the match, Joey mentions that Jason was actually once the ECW TV Champ and hypes up the match for next week

COMMERCIAL

Joey hypes up the debut on TNN and then sends to the following;

Main Event
Nova and Chris Chetti Vs Simon Diamond and ???

The theme they use here to dub over “Intergalactic” by The Beastie Boys in no way replicates the original. If you have to dub out the music at least try and put something in there that suits the wrestlers. Case in point, they recap what happened at the Heatwave Pay Per View where Chetti started dancing to Ricky Martin during his match, but dub over a generic slow piece of music on it. How hard would it be just to dub over some generic high tempo Latin sounding music so it would at least match what we’re seeing on screen?

Case in point Part II, Simon Diamond’s “Simon Says” music is dubbed over with generic plodding music that doesn’t suit him whatsoever. Anyway, Simon grabs the mic and tells Philly that “Simon has a problem”. That problem is that he’s been told he needs a partner, all though he doesn’t think he needs one to take on a “Super Hero wannabe” and a “Ricky Martin lookalike”. Simon turns to young wrestler Tom Marquez and tells him to join him in the ring, but it turns out to be a ruse as he didn’t say “Simon Says” first. Vince McMahon would bloody love this gimmick today and Simon would probably be on Raw right now, most likely in 24/7 Title mix. Eventually Super Crazy comes down to the ring to be the partner, which leads to him and Simon squabbling as we take a break.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the ads, all four men are going at it in the ring. Chetti and Nova double team on Diamond, but Crazy rescues him with a double springboard clothesline and then dives onto both of them on the outside. Diamond and Chetti go at it inside the ring, whilst Crazy and Nova fight outside. Simon gets the Simon Series on Chetti (Two rolling snap suplexes into a sit out gourdbuster) but Chetti manages to kick out at two. In one of my favourite spots, Simon yells at the ref that his count was too slow, but this allows Chetti to roll up him and the ref drops down with a quicker count than earlier for two. You hardly ever see that spot anymore and it’s always great. When Simon yells at the ref here merely shrugs and say “You said Simon Says”.

Simon gives Crazy a less than gentle tag, but Crazy agrees to come in anyway with a quebrada and then the diez golpe in the corner. Chetti replies with a spingboard jumping back kick and tags in Nova, who gets the Roll of the Dice on Diamond and then the Sledge-O-Matic (Powerbomb but combined with an elbow to the groin) on Crazy.  A double elevated reverse DDT comes next on Diamond, but Crazy comes in with a spinning leg lariat on Nova and makes the cover. Diamond isn’t happy about that though and slaps Crazy, which leads to Crazy hitting a two moonsaults on him, which allows Nova and Chetti to come off the top rope with the Tidal Wave (A combined leg drop and splash from the top rope) to pick up the win.

WINNERS: NOVA AND CHETTI
RATING: **

High energy tag stuff that didn’t overstay its welcome, allowed Diamond to get some of his character stuff in, protected Crazy and also gave Nova and Chetti a win. It served its purpose and was entertaining. Perfect TV fare.

Joey says that we’ll get a look at Jerry Lynn and Rob Van Dam after the break.

COMMERCIAL

As promised, we get to see RVD and Lynn doing a very nice counter sequence during a six man tag. You didn’t really get that sort of stuff in American wrestling back then and it was certainly the first I’d really seen it until I started watched more Japanese wrestling.

Joey hypes up the TNN debut once again, hinting that we’ll see RVD Vs Lynn (We would eventually just get an edited version of the Hardcore Heaven 99 match between the two)

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, we get a recap of Yoshihiro Tajiri turning on Taz in Queens prior to Heatwave 99 and joining up with Steve Corino’s Faction. Joey then recaps that Taz shoved barbed wire down Tajiri’s throat at Heatwave 99, but notes that Taz isn’t happy because the match was stopped before Tajiri could tap, so he wants another match, which he’ll get at ECW’s next show in Queens (I believe Scott recapped that match in his most recent ECW on TNN review)

We get a Taz promo, where he says that everyone has told him that he went too far at Heatwave. Taz states that Tajiri started this in Queens and that’s where Taz will end it. He also states that he’s starting to like this game he’s playing with Corino, which is bad news for Corino because eventually he’s going to choke Corino out. This was one heck of a promo actually.

In Conclusion

These shows are basically just place holders until the TNN show starts and I imagine at that point that Hardcore TV will essentially become ECW’s version of Velocity, where you might get a couple of original matches but it will mostly be a recap show. There wasn’t really enough original stuff to recommend the show this week, but it was an easy enough watch for 43 minutes.