The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Slam 94–08.21.94

The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Slam 1994 – 08.21.94

This was a backdoor addition to the Network as a Hidden Gem that is basically impossible to find at this point unless you literally know it’s there and search for it.

https://watch.wwe.com/program/Sunday-Night-Slam-August-1994-103116

Anyway, this was the Summerslam 94 leadup show, centered around Leslie Nielsen searching for the Undertaker. So you know it’s quality.

Taped from Youngstown, OH

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Randy Savage. Randy’s shirt here is AMAZING.

Lex Luger v. Crush

The heat machine is off the charts for Made in the USA! They fight over a headlock to start and Lex gets a bodypress for two. The crowd is going crazy for that headlock! Just put the World title on that headlock instead! Crush works the back and tries a piledriver, but Lex backdrops out of it and shoulderblocks him to the floor. Back in, Crush goes to work with a backbreaker for two and some thrilling knees to the back. JR notes that there is “no strike in the WWF like in baseball, except the striking right hands of Lex Luger!” That’s a bit of a stretch, even by JR’s strained metaphor standards. Crush continues working the back and really cranks up the workrate with a BEARHUG. When Brian Adams decided not to give a shit, he REALLY committed to it. Dibiase wanders out to count his money while Crush gets a press slam and legdrop, but Luger uses the POWER OF THE USA to kick out and WE TAKE A BREAK?!? Are you fucking kidding me we have to watch more of this boring match? Back with Luger getting beat up in the corner, but they collide and Luger comes back with the slugfest until Crush cuts him off with the dreaded Hawaiian martial arts thrust to the throat. Luger makes the comeback with a powerslam for two and a DDT for two. And then Crush cuts him off again with a superkick and a backbreaker, but Dibiase interrupts and offers Crush a wad of cash to walk out of the match. So Crush slaps the cash away and Luger hits the STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DEATH for the pin at 16:30. Man, Crush should have taken the cash and used it to buy a better lawyer in 1995. Might not have done any time. This would have been better had it been 10 minutes shorter and about 1.5 times faster. **

Meanwhile, Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler are live in the studio for a call-in segment that starts later (as opposed to the arena, which is also “live”, but just wink-wink “live”. Oh, wrestling.) So we get a mega-mix of Undertaker sightings and a recap of that particular feud.

Bam Bam Bigelow & IRS v. 1-2-3 Kid & Sparky Plugg

So weird that Kid & Holly would end up as tag team champions in January. Beating Bigelow in the finals! Bam Bam tosses the Kid around to start, but Kid fires back with spinkicks and flies up with a missile dropkick for two. Bam Bam misses a blind charge and Kid throws kicks in the corner to put him on the floor, and he follows with a baseball slide and then hits a flip dive as these fuckers are trying to steal the show on their own. So then Sparky slugs it out with IRS on the floor for good measure. Back in, Plugg goes up with a flying elbow on Bigelow for two and dodges a headbutt, but then misses an elbow like a geek and IRS comes in to take over. Plugg gets a dropkick for two, however, and a rollup in the corner for two, and it’s back to the Kid as the shine continues for the babyfaces. Finally IRS tosses the Kid to cut him off and Kid takes a huge bump to the floor, plus a trip to the stairs via Bigelow. Back in, IRS drops the leg for two. Irwin with the chinlock for a bit and Bigelow comes in with a monster press slam and legdrop for two. Kid and Bigelow have some freaky chemistry together, actually. Bigelow with a DDT for two and IRS comes in with the AIRPLANE SPIN for two. False tag to Plugg while Bigelow takes the ref, and the heels double-team Kid as a result. THIS SHIT ALWAYS WORKS. I’m astonished that no matter what era or changes in the sport, if you work the formula and cut off the babyface and cheat, it always gets a reaction. Bigelow with a backbreaker into a top rope elbow from IRS, and that gets two. Bigelow goes up for the moonsault, but that misses and it’s HOT TAG Sparky. Atomic drop and clothesline for IRS, and he goes up with a bodypress on Bigelow, but gets slammed and pinned at 10:08. You just can’t overcome geekdom, but this was a hell of a match and a one man show for Waltman. ***3/4 They could have milked a team of Kid and Razor for months, with Kid taking the beating and Razor getting the hot tag. Anyway, this spoke once again to the weirdness of the booking at that point, as the Million Dollar Team was clearly being groomed to win the tag titles at Summerslam from the Headshrinkers, and then Vince went WAY off the track with Diesel and Shawn winning the titles out of nowhere instead.

SUMMERSLAM UPDATE! WITH TODD!

If you were blown away by King of the Ring then just wait until you see Summerslam! That’s a pretty specific segment of the audience. Also, Domino’s. The pizza so terrible that they literally did an advertising campaign years later apologizing for how gross their pizza was. Not much of note here, aside from Walter Payton and Razor doing the least intimidating promo for a supposed money match.

Razor Ramon v. Todd Becker

Welcome to the squash portion of the show in order to fill two hours! Razor has a rare black and silver variation on his gear here. Usual squash from Razor with the abdominal stretch and such, as JR notes “Well, I don’t think Razor is going to play any new cards here” and Savage calls him “in cruise control”. Really selling the show here! Razor with the backdrop suplex and Razor’s Edge to finish this worthless squash at 3:42.

Meanwhile, Leslie Nielsen is still searching for the Undertaker, who in fact delivers a “delicious” pizza from Domino’s but is unseen by Leslie.

Meanwhile, Abe Schwartz is still on strike.

Bull Nakano v. Debbie Lee Morgan

Where did they dig up Morgan for this? Heidi gets a quick rollup for two and climbs up Bull’s back for an armbar takedown before trying a hammerlock. Bull reverses to a dragon sleeper and a chokeslam, which sets up the legdrop for two. Boston crab follows and then she turns it into the scorpion crosslock, but then releases and gets two in a weird sequence. She throws Heidi out and Luna gets some shots on the floor. Back in for a chinlock from Bull as this drags on, and she goes to a cross armbreaker, which meant nothing in 1994. Morgan comes back with a sunset flip for two and goes up with a flying bodypress for two, but Bull slams her and finishes with the flying legdrop at 7:28. Morgan was trying to do the old style Moolah women’s matches and didn’t mesh at all with Nakano, who should have just bulldozed her in 2 minutes. *1/2

Bret Hart joins us to talk about his conflicted emotions leading to Summerslam. Also, Jim Neidhart is fat AND stupid, so Bret isn’t sweating his presence. When the match is over, Owen will be crying like a baby, WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES, much like he did when he was literally a baby and presumably Stu made them have cage matches.

Meanwhile, some stupid kid bugs Bret backstage, so Bret gives him his glasses to shut him up.

SPECIAL NON-TITLE ATTRACTION: Diesel v. Typhoon

Despite Diesel’s status as Intercontinental champion, Typhoon is not in line for a title shot. Hopefully he can break through the wall of contenders and fall into a title match! Frankly, I don’t even remember Typhoon coming back to the WWF after the Shockmaster thing. Apparently it happened. Typhoon gets a slam for two and Diesel bails off that Back in, Typhoon gets distracted by Shawn and Diesel gets a shoulderblock and elbow for two. Diesel with the Nash choke in the corner but Typhoon makes a comeback, but misses a legdrop. He comes back with a corner splash, but Diesel cuts him off with a clothesline and pins him at 5:03. Is this the Survivor Series? And then Typhoon just pops up right away and no-sells it. Jesus, this was all kinds of terrible and even Shawn running around at ringside couldn’t make it entertaining. -* And who in their right mind would bring Ottman back and try to book him as a serious babyface right after that WCW run?

“Undertaker” v. Sonny Rogers

“Undertaker” hangs Rogers in the corner and does a smother claw for a bit, then finishes with the “tombstone” at 1:17.

Meanwhile, Leslie is still searching for the Undertaker while poolside. Sadly, he never did solve the case. Probably went to his grave regretting his incompetence.

So this ends the arena portion of the show, and for the last 30 minutes we get a live call-in show with Vince and King. One caller wants to know if the other Undertaker might be the real Undertaker’s partner when they were the “Twin Towers”? That’s about the extent of the highlights here, with the rest being cringe-worthy stupid questions from stupid callers.

I’d check out the Kid/Plugg v. IRS/Bigelow tag team match, but the rest is a major skip and the call-in segment is a complete waste that needed a ringer to call in and spice things up.