The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling–04.13.85

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 04.13.85

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Boyd Pierce & Bill Watts

First up, it’s the updated TV title tournament bracket!

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Well that clears it right up.

So the Cowboy goes off on an epic rant about how Vince McMahon and the WWF are taking credit for “making a new renaissance with Wrestlemania” and taking credit for a whole bunch of stuff that he didn’t do. Also, taking an actor and making him a wrestler is BALONEY. Also, Mean Gene getting in the ring in Minny? BALONEY. Plus Bill has got lots of stars who hang around his shows because they want to be there, not because Vince is paying for them.

So…that was quite the thing. Never let it be said that Watts doesn’t say what’s on his mind.

Edcar “Boo” Thomas v. Brickhouse Brown

Brickhouse is overdubbed with some kind of weird generic EDM thing, which I’m assuming is covering up whatever he had playing on his boombox. Brown gets a bunch of hiptosses on Thomas to start and works the arm, but Boo gets some forearms in the corner to escape. Brickhouse throws his own forearms and watching Thomas try to sell is something to behold. The closest analogy I can think of is Sid’s “selling”. Dr. Death gets involved, but Brown goes up and finishes with the flying headbutt at 3:10 anyway, and then he cleans house on both heels while Jim Duggan comes out to register his approval of this. This Thomas push is going NOWHERE.

TV title tournament: Private Terry Daniels v. Dr. Death Steve Williams

Daniels has ditched the Marine gear and just wears a normal ring jacket now, so hopefully he wasn’t drummed out of the fake Marines for desertion or anything. Doc overpowers Daniels, but he comes back with some armdrags and Doc takes a breather. Back in, he just hits Daniels with a knee to the gut and drops him on the top rope. And now Watts goes off on John Stossel and the 20/20 piece on ABC. Remember Vince: Just because you’re on national TV doesn’t mean your credibility is increased one iota! Williams stomps him down and now Watts moves onto the various geeks calling themselves World champion, as clearly Ric Flair is the most impressive and the only one truly worthy of being called World champion. Daniels makes a comeback and Doc is like “Bitch, please” and catches him on a bodypress attempt before putting him away with the Stampede at 3:40. So Williams advances to round…pi? God only knows.

The Rock N Roll Express v. Jake Roberts & Nord the Barbarian

Jake pounds on Morton on the ropes to start, but takes a hiptoss and slithers away. Over to Barbarian and he yells and jumps around before hitting Morton with a clothesline. Ricky tries a bodypress and Barbarian drops him on the top rope to get the heat on him, and Jake comes in with a headlock. Ricky takes him into the corner, however, and the RNR go to work on Jake’s knee and cut the ring in half. To show you how crazy tall Jake really is, he basically reaches across the ring from his back and nearly makes the tag to Barbarian while in the leglock. Barbarian comes in and slams Gibson and Watts goes on ANOTHER rant about how Mid-South isn’t affiliated with any “big conglomerates” like the other three promotions are. I’m sensing he wasn’t a fan of Wrestlemania. Jake and Barbarian work on Gibson’s back, but he fights out and Ricky comes in with the double dropkick on both heels. However, Ricky takes an awkward bump and accidentally gets his neck caught in the ropes, at which point the Dirty White Boys run down and start yanking on his legs to hang him for the DQ at 6:30. Roberts hits Gibson with a DDT, and then gives Duggan a DDT when he runs out to help as well, and everyone gets into a huge brawl until the heels back off and leave. Hell of a deal here.

Jack Victory v. Steve Casey

They fight for the wristlock and Casey wins that one, but Victory grabs the hair to break. Casey cartwheels away and gives him a slap. Casey gets a dropkick and puts him down with a forearm, and then takes him down and hooks him in a surfboard for the submission at 2:48.

Eddie Gilbert & The Nightmare v. Tim Horner & Rocky Montana

It’s Gilbert’s debut in Mid-South, which would end up being the run that was arguably the highlight of his entire career. The Nightmare is good old generic masked man Randy Colley. Nightmare beats on Horner and gets a standing powerslam, and Gilbert comes in for a chinlock and pounds away with forearms. This was one of Gilbert’s standard gags, where he’d have some giant monster as his backup and then basically hide behind him. Montana tags in and Nightmare quickly destroys him with a piledriver at 4:00.

Kamala v. Steve Brinson

Scandor Akbar claims that Iceman Parsons has been run out of Mid-South by Kamala, so I guess he went back to Dallas at this point. Cagematch says his last Mid-South match was in March, so there you go. Usual chops and big splash finish at 1:15.

Dirty Dutch Mantel v. Stoney Montana

Stoney Montana is not to be confused with Rocky Montana, a jobber from two matches ago. That has gotta be a rib of some kind that I’m missing. Dutch pounds on Montana with elbows and a kneedrop while Bill goes on yet another GOD BLESS AMERICA rant about how countries should wage war to WIN, not to negotiate wussy peace settlements. Good lord. Mantel hooks Montana in a double arm submission, but then lets him go and clotheslines him instead, before finishing with a gourdbuster at 3:10. And then Bill makes sure to bury JYD AGAIN, because the competition is so weak in New York, so it’s no wonder he took the easy money.

Goddamn.  Tell us how you REALLY feel, Cowboy.