Mike Reviews: ECW Hardcore TV #323 – 03/07/1999

Hello You!

So I was going to put these on ice but a few people got in touch to say they liked them, so I’ll keep them going for the time being as the shows are generally easy to watch and no one else is really doing classic ECW stuff on here (Although Maffew’s reviews of WWECW are always worth a read if you’ve never given them a try)

Last week on Hardcore TV, Jerry Lynn defeated Justin Credible in the main event to earn himself a match with Rob Van Dam on this show for the ECW TV Title. However, a post-match attack from The Impact Players left him unable to compete this week, so Lance Storm will be taking the shot instead.

In other news, Steve Corino and Taz’s feud continued as Taz blew through Corino’s new “Rookie Monster” Rhino in mere minutes. Corino managed to escape unscathed once again however. Will Taz ever give Corino the beating he’s talked himself into?

The other big news last week was that Little Guido got a big win over Tajiri, although it took plenty of interference from Big Sal to ensure it happened. Will Tajiri be out for revenge this week? And lets not forget that Super Crazy also has an issue with both men.

We are also 15 days away from Heat Wave 99 on the 18th of July and we still haven’t had any matches announced yet. ECW really needs to get something on the docket whilst they still have time to actually hype the show. They have literally just 3 more hours of TV to hype the Pay-Per-View.

So without any further ado, let’s once again order ourselves a thumbtack kebab and take it to The Extreme!!!

This week’s matches are coming from The Odeon in Chicago, Illinois

Calling the action is Joey Styles

We open up with a recap of the events of last wee

We then get this week’s Show Intro. Today’s tagline, “The Windy City Goes Extreme, ECW Invades Chicago!”

We come back from the intro to see the ECW Tag Team Champions The Dudley Boyz in the ring insulting the crowd, which was par for the course with them during this period in time. Joey interrupts, in front of a Heat Wave Banner, where he says that The Dudleyz will defend their belts after the break

COMMERCIAL

Opening Match
ECW Tag Team Titles
Champions: The Dudley Boyz w/ Sign Guy Dudley and Joel Gertner Vs Balls Mahoney and Little Spike Dudley

Before the match can start, Balls demands this be a Falls Count Anywhere bout, which The Dudleyz appear to accept and the fight is on. Balls and D-Von brawl outside whilst Buh Buh hits Spike with the Bossman Slam back inside, before taking a cheese grater to his head. Spike bleeds as a result of this (No surprise there) whilst Balls throws a beer in D-Vons face at ringside. Spike manages to hit Buh Buh with a low blow and then hits him with the cheese grater to send him outside.

Balls and D-Von got at it next in the ring, whilst Spike grates Buh Buh outside. Buh Buh is now bleeding a gusher as well, as Spike adds a chair shot for good measure. Balls also appears to be bleeding, as he assaults D-Von with a fork, which allows Joey to work in a “forked up” gag. I bet he was waiting for that all night wasn’t he? Everyone now brawls into the crowd as we take a break. At least they took the break at an exciting moment so that you’d want to see what happens next.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break we see that Spike has climbed up onto a balcony ala New Jack, at which point he dives off onto what I assume is everyone else for a big “EC-DUB” chant from the crowd. This Chicago crowd really have been awesome, I can see why they kept coming back to this venue. Everyone brawls back into the ring and the faces go for a double pin attempt, which gets a close near fall.

Stereo X-Factors follow next, but the Champs are once again able to kick out. Spike hits Buh Buh with an Acid Drop, whilst Balls delivers the Nutcracker Suite on D-Von, but the Champs both manage to kick out again. Joey kind of spoilt that kick out by being so high pitched and squeaky that you just knew it wasn’t going to be the finish. Sign Guy interference allows The Dudleyz to hit Spike with 3-D, but Balls makes the save with his chair.

Chair shots rain down on the Champions, but rather than going for a cover Balls heads outside to bring a table into the ring. Joey does the big dramatic call about how this could finally be it for The Dudleyz, which of course means it isn’t. Balls sprinkles thumbtacks on the table and also covers it in lighter fluid, but before he can set the table on fire he gets hit with a chair by D-Von. The Dudleyz now set the table ablaze themselves and powerbomb Balls through it for the win.

WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: THE DUDLEY BOYZ
RATING: ***

That was one heck of a crazy brawl, although Joey’s commentary was pretty insufferable, as he went OTT and completely telegraphed the finish. I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of this feud, mainly because there aren’t many other viable challengers for The Dudley Boyz.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, Joey hypes that next week in Philly it will be a swimsuit showdown between Francine and Dawn Marie

Main Event
ECW Television Title
Champion: Rob Van Dam w/ Bill Alfonso Vs Lance Storm w/ Dawn Marie

Dawn Marie is wearing a dress so skimpy it barely qualifies as clothing. I’m not complaining like. These two notably faced off on the first ever ECW PPV Barely Legal as well as at Guilty As Charged 1999, so they’re no strangers to one another. We get the in ring introductions and it’s time for an ad break.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, both men are tentatively feeling each other out. We get some chain wrestling, which ends with Storm firing off some cheap shots in the corner. RVD replies with a second rope cross body for two and we have a face off. RVD sends Storm outside with a monkey flip and then mugs for the crowd whilst Storm refocuses. Storm grabs the Maple Leaf Crab back inside but gets distracted by Fonzie going after Dawn, which allows RVD to leg drop him whilst he leans through the ropes to grab RVD’s manager.

RVD controls things outside the ring for a bit, but when he goes for a cross body Storm dodges it and RVD goes flying into the crowd. Undeterred, RVD launches himself off the guardrail onto Storm with a cannonball attack, before throwing Storm back inside. Storm crotches RVD when he goes up top back inside and then brings him down with a super back drop. Storm fires off a super kick and gets two from the resulting cover, before actually throwing some decent looking punches. You don’t tend to think of Storm as a stand-up brawler, but he could do it when he wanted to.

RVD manages to send Storm outside the ring again, but Storm pulls him out before he can follow up on it and throws him inside for a springboard clothesline, which gets two from the ref. The fans chant for RVD as we take a break.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, Hardcore TV has indulged in the annoying trait it usually does by bringing the match back in at a completely different moment than what we’d just seen without any explanation as to how we got there. Going into the break, Storm was working over RVD whilst the crowd chanted to try and get their hero back in to things. Back now from the break we see RVD hitting a Rolling Thunder whilst appearing to be in control of things. They cut out the entire comeback? Are you kidding me? How hard would it be to go to commercial with Storm in control and then come back with RVD just beginning his comeback? I feel like we missed an important part of the match’s story there.

Anyway, RVD makes a cover on the downed Storm, but it only nets him a two count. RVD dropkicks a chair into Storm’s face and goes to his usual MO of mugging for the crowd instead of doing something useful like going for a cover. The referee takes a stray Storm leg to the face whilst RVD sets him up on the top rope, which is Justin Credible’s cue to run down and attack RVD with his Singapore cane. Things look bleak for RVD, at which point the lights go out and when they come back on Sabu is in the ring!

Sabu flings a chair at both heels and then dives onto Credible whilst he tries to escape into the crowd. Sabu sets Credible up on a table and then dives off the rope to put him through it. Hmm, I don’t know why they already made that happen so soon, they could have milked that until they finally had a match. With Credible now out, Jerry Lynn runs down with a chair and holds it in front of Storm so RVD can hit the Van Daminator. RVD follows up with the Five Star Frogsplash and that’s all she wrote.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: ROB VAN DAM
RATING: **1/2

Joey was acting like Lynn’s interference was ambiguous, but he clearly was there to help RVD and was visibly very happy to see Storm get kicked in the face. This was fine as a TV Main Event, but the editing really wound me up at points. Still though, it was entertaining and it’s good to see the match end in a pin fall even despite all the shenanigans and run ins.

We don’t get much of a celebration for RVD as the show quickly comes to a close.

In Conclusion

All about the in ring this week, with two matches basically taking up the entire run down. Both matches were good TV bouts and I had fun watching them, but gosh darn would it kill ECW to start naming some matches for this Heat Wave pay per view? Hopefully get something next week, or we’re going to have a pay per view event with one solitary day of hype, which will be nothing short of a disaster.