The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling–03.02.85

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 03.02.85

Time for something to put me back in my happy place after enduring Super Showdown! New Japan was on the docket but I wasn’t really in the mood for anything heavy tonight.

Taped from Shreveport, LA

Your hosts are Boyd Pierce & Bill Watts. And Bill is DISGUSTED with the actions of Ted Dibiase last week, as he smashed up Jim Duggan’s windshield. So he’s rescinding his previous ban of all weapons, because taking guns and self-defense implements from Americans is just WRONG. Even though Dibiase just smashed in the windshield with his baseball bat? That’s some dubious logic even by Bill’s standards.

Mid-South TV title: Terry Taylor v. Tim Horner

Although Bill certainly enjoys him some “slam bang” action, this should be a refreshing change of pace for him. Horner works a headlock while Bill talks about how wrestling is “as American as apple pie”. Along with being armed to the teeth, apparently. Terry reverses out to a hammerlock and Horner gets his own, but Taylor slams out of it. Elbow misses and Horner gets two and goes back to the headlock. Terry finishes with a backslide out of nowhere at 3:30, however.

Jim Duggan joins us at the desk and repeats Bill’s stance that “if we outlaw guns, then only outlaws will have guns.” So Jim already has a coal miner’s glove with him and he’s ready for action, just in case any Russians invade his home, I’m assuming.

Jake Roberts storms into the ring and he wants Terry Taylor RIGHT NOW, in this ring, not in some arena weeks from now.

Gino Hernandez v. Tommy Pritchard

Bill hypes up some kind of Super Spectacular supercard that’s coming up at the Sam Houston Coliseum with World Class co-promoting and Ric Flair main eventing. WHY IS THIS NOT ON THE NETWORK? Gino does some showboating and puts Tom down with shoulderblocks, but Pritchard comes back with dropkicks for two. He slugs away in the corner and misses a dropkick, allowing Hernandez to hit a neckbreaker and go up with an elbowdrop for the pin at 2:45. Gino certainly showed good fire and charisma here, but obviously Dr. Tom ended up being the bigger star.

Ted Dibiase & Steve Williams v. Brad Armstrong & Private Terry Daniels

Interestingly, Daniels doesn’t have his Marine gear here, wearing a ring jacket instead. Maybe he was drummed out of the Cobra corps off-screen? Doc overpowers Daniels as his forearm guard is getting more elaborate by the week, but the babyfaces wisely go after Doc’s arm. Doc gets a slam on Brad and brings in Dibiase, but Brad dropkicks him out of the ring and the heels regroup. Watts announces that next week, Jake Roberts will FINALLY get his shot at the coward Terry Taylor. Thank god for justice. Back in the ring, Williams puts Brad down with an elbow and goes to the chinlock. The heels double-team Armstrong and Daniels comes in to save, but he gets thrown over the top rope behind the ref’s back. Jim Duggan can take no more of this nonsense, so he runs in with his coal miner’s glove and attacks the heels for the DQ at 4:29, but Dibiase ducks and poor Brad Armstrong gets knocked out cold and taken out on a stretcher off-screen. He’s completely proving the point about why these weapons should still be outlawed!

(Nord) The Barbarian v. Shawn Michaels

Barbarian attacks in the corner and hurls Shawn around while yelling about it. Watts clarifies that he’s not a Barbarian in the foreign invader sense, but more of the crazy attacker sense. Kind of a BERZERKER, you’d say? Bodyslam and alleged elbowdrop finishes at 1:24. Yes, Shawn Michaels jobs to Berzerker’s bodyslam. 1985, you so crazy!

Kamala v. Iceman Parsons

Kamala immediately chops Iceman down and goes to the boob squeeze and literally holds it for 3 minutes while Bill man-splains about how nerves getting pinched can reduce the strength in the various limbs. Iceman fights out after 4:00 and Kamala immediately chops him down again, so Iceman dropkicks him and then Hercules runs in for the DQ at 4:50. And then Butch Reed runs in and clears the ring like Stone Cold Steve Austin, but without the charisma or wrestling talent or natural blond hair, to save the day.

The Dirty White Boys v. Dave Bowman & Mike Jackson

Bill is already talking about the impending DWB v. Rock N Roll matches, so I guess the Guerreros have been blown off and they’re gone again. The Boys double-team Bowman and Denton finishes him with a samoan drop at 1:07.

Kerry Von Erich v. Buddy Landel

Kerry’s name is spelled “Von Erik” here for some reason. The young ladies in the crowd are practically throwing their panties into the ring for Kerry and Bill was probably trying to figure out how to pry him away from Fritz ASAP. Kerry dropkicks Budro into the corner and works the arm and it’s like the Hardy Boyz are in the ring or something because the girls just will not quit with the shrieks. Buddy gets some brief offense and Kerry backdrops him and then clocks him with the discus punch for two. Buddy selling that move was beautiful. Buddy takes him down and drops the corkscrew elbow, but Kerry throws him off at two and then dropkicks him as Buddy flies around the ring selling. He rebounds out of the corner and walks into the IRON CLAW and that’s enough to finish at 3:40. Vince should have hired Buddy in 1990 and paid him $500 a night to get squashed by Kerry because that might have succeeded in making him into the star he wanted out of “The Texas Tornado”.

Hell of a show this week! And next week, Jake Roberts finally gets his TV title shot, plus Jim Duggan teams up with Kerry as they build to a show at the Sam Houston Coliseum in July that I really want to see now.