Mike Reviews: ECW Hardcore TV #319 – 05/06/1999

Hello You!

Last week on ECW Hardcore TV, The Dudley Boyz heated up their rivalry with Balls Mahoney quite literally by flinging him through a flaming table in the main event. As a result of this act, Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten failed in their attempt to wrest the ECW Tag Team Titles from the half-brothers and must now do battle on the next set of tapings.

However, we’ve still got another week of the  tapings from Detroit to watch first, so let’s put on our big person pants and once again take it to The Extreme!!!

Today’s matches are coming from Detroit, Michigan

Calling the action is Joey Styles

We open up with clips of last week’s main event, as The Dudley Boys powerbomb Balls Mahoney through a flaming table to pin him and retain their ECW Tag Team Titles.

Show Intro – Today’s Tagline: “Detroit Goes Extreme”

Joey Styles is in front of the ECW banner, where he promises that tonight’s show will be even wilder than it was last week.

Opening Match
Little Guido w/ Big Sal E. Graziano Vs Super Nova

Before this match can start we cut to Cyrus pestering Steve Corino in the car park. Cyrus compliments Corino on getting off the Chris Candido train when he had a chance. Corino says he now wants to be Taz’s protégé and talks about how he’d stretch the ECW Champ if he was there right now. Cyrus lies that Paul Heyman needs Corino up front, which causes him to scamper away, just in time for Taz to pull up in a Cadillac.

How about that eh? Taz requests that Cyrus and the cameraman get in the car for a ride, and they both stupidly agree. Because yes, the first place you always want to be with a vicious man who could snap at any moment is a small contained space. Anyway, Taz calls out Cyrus for being a backstage troublemaker and then surprisingly asks him to be a snitch, at which point Cyrus immediately gives up Corino in a funny bit. Cyrus as the ultimate backstabbing parasite is fantastic stuff. However, it looks like Taz is one step ahead of Cyrus, as he cackles when he leaves the car.

Anyway, with that segue taken care of; we go back to ringside where Nova and Guido are brawling. Nova gets the better of things and throws Guido back inside, where he hits a Stinger Splash.  Nova goes for the Kryptonite Krunch, but Sal grabs his leg to stop him, which allows Guido to come off the second rope with the Sicilian Slice for two.

Nova catches Guido with a small package, but Sal has the referee distracted so he can’t count the pin. Guido delivers The Stroke to Nova, but Nova is able to kick out from the resulting pin attempt at two.  Nova replies with an Electric Chair Drop, but Sal breaks up the pin by pulling Nova’s leg again, which allows Guido to send him outside. Guido distracts the ref, which allows Sal to drop an elbow off the apron to put Nova through the table. Back inside The Sicilian Crab is academic for the win.

WINNER: LITLE GUIDO
RATING: *1/2

This was way too short to be any higher, but it was fast paced and featured a lot of action, which made it just fine for a quick TV match.

Yoshihiro Tajiri comes down to the ring following the match and kicks Guido in the head to rescue Nova. Sal squares up to Tajiri, but he gets taken care of with kicks as well. Note to WWE, that’s how you get someone over.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, Paul Heyman narrates a video package showing TAKA Michinoku pinning Super Crazy at the ECW Arena in May, only for Super Crazy to even the score at Hardcore Heaven 99. We cut back to Joey, who declares that tonight we’ll get the rubber match between the two men.

Meanwhile, Corino now has a bunch of Taz stickers on his travel case. This whole Taz/Corino/Cyrus thing is really silly but also really funny due to all three guys having mad charisma together. You can tell they’re all really enjoying it as well. Anyway, Cyrus comes over to Corino and acts like Taz isn’t there and suggests that Corino goes out to the ring to do his Taz impression. “He won’t even see the TV for a month anyway”. Corino likes the sound of that, and has even brought his own towel to wear to the ring. We go back to Joey and he recaps the whole story thus far.

COMMERCIAL

Match Two
Super Crazy Vs TAKA Michinoku

Nuts to think that TAKA is still going today when you consider all the wild stuff he used to do back in the 90’s. It can’t be long before TAKA goes back to the WWF now can it? When did he have that awesome match with Triple H? 2000? Anyway, TAKA stomps away on Crazy to start, adding a Shouda in the corner for good measure.

Crazy fights back however and sends TAKA outside, where he follows with an Asai Moonsault.  Back inside, Crazy unloads with the ten punches, although the Detroit fans aren’t as hot on their Spanish as other crowds we’ve seen lately and count along in English. TAKA responds by knocking Crazy down and delivering a running back senton splash for two.

Crazy responds with a swinging DDT for a two of his own and then unloads with some chops to his Japanese foe. Crazy fires off a Quebrada, but TAKA is able to kick out of it at two. TAKA hits a Tornado DDT and then delivers another one, but he goes for a cocky cover and it only gets him a two as consequence. Crazy fights off the Michinoku Driver and drops TAKA with a brain buster.

TAKA replies with a rana, but misses a moonsault, which allows Crazy to hit a trifecta of his own moonsaults. TAKA gets a big spin kick from the top and goes for The Driver, but Crazy counters it into a DDT and hits a big sit out powerbomb for the win.

WINNER: SUPER CRAZY
RATING: **

These two just don’t have especially great chemistry together for whatever reason. Their match at Hardcore Heaven was better because they had more time to tell a story and actually work some psychology in. This was just a parade of moves which, though mostly everything looked good, didn’t present much of an emotional hook.

We see Cyrus is on the phone to someone whilst enjoying a coffee.

COMMERCIAL

Match Three
Steve Corino Vs Tom Marquez

Corino comes out to Taz’s music whilst wearing a towel over his head in traditional Taz style. We get a quick recap of the storyline, voiced over by Paul Heyman, focusing on the relationship between Corino and Cyrus. Back in the ring, Corino is having some trouble with Marquez, but is able to hit a sit out gourbuster, followed by a nice T-Bone Suplex.

We cut backstage, where Cyrus knocks on Taz’s locker room door to stooge out Corino. Taz heads to the ring, where Corino is now cowering in fear. As Corino cowers, Marquez just ups and leaves to the back, so I guess that the match was a no contest.

WINNER: NO CONTEST
RATING: N/A

Good comedy that achieved what it needed to

Corino grabs a mic and begs off, trying to use the fact he has a family as a way to get Taz to spare him. However, it turns out that Corino knew this might happen and calls down Chris Candido to rescue him. Candido is indeed here, and he grabs a mic to say that he wasn’t ready at Hardcore Heaven and wants another match. He even uses being on the pre-show of WrestleMania XII as an example of why he deserves to be Champion. Taz grabs the mic off him and asks Detroit if they want a Title match and they respond to the affirmative, which leads to…

Main Event
ECW World Title
Champion: Taz Vs Chris Candido

Taz hits Candido with the belt and takes the fight immediately outside. Back inside, Candido stomps away on Taz and hits a nice hanging vertical suplex. Candido heads up top, but Taz catches him on the way down with a big overhead suplex. Candido fights back with chops, only to run into a big Taz lariat.

Taz sets Candido up on the top rope and brings him down with a head and arm suplex. T-Bone suplex sets up the Tazmission and Candido quickly taps out once again to give Taz another abrupt clean win.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: TAZ
RATING: N/A

Too short to rate. I really wonder why Candido is doing all these quick jobs like this. I can only assume that he pissed Paul E off somehow and this is his way of punishing him.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, Taz is chatting with Cyrus backstage, where he thanks him for the heads up before walking off laughing. We cut back to Joey in front of the ECW banner, where he muses over who is really conning who in this Corino/Cyrus/Taz storyline. The answer is that they’re all conning each other in some way, and it’s awesome! (That’s my view, not Joey’s). Anyway, Joey then turns the subject to Justin Credible and talks about how Credible has managed to get Sabu banned from wrestling in America due to stooging him off to all the athletic commissions.

COMMERCIAL

Justin Credible and Jason come down to the ring, flanked by a number of security guards in case Sabu shows up. Seeing as Sabu’s uncle The Original Sheik made a name for himself in Detroit, I smell an angle here. Credible grabs a mic and talks trash about Detroit and Sabu, knowing full well that Sabu isn’t in the house. That’s heel 101 right there. This brings what I think is a referee down to the ring, who says that the rules in Detroit are different and that Sabu isn’t banned here for whatever reason.

That brings Sabu down to the ring, which causes Credible and Jason to bail. However, the ring announcer goes through the introductions, so I guess we’re getting the match between the two men after all. Joey states on commentary that the man who came down to the ring is indeed a referee named A.T Huck, and he’s just decided to make the match happen anyway because he feels like it. Err, I’m not sure that’s technically legal there Mr. Huck, though I do appreciate your impetuousness.

And indeed, a flange of referees and officials come running down to make sure the match doesn’t happen, with head official Jim Mollineaux repeating that Sabu is banned and declaring that the match won’t happen. Sabu responds to this by putting one of the refs through a table to a big pop, before taking Credible down inside the ring. Security fill the ring before the two men can properly go at it, which is the cue for Sid to come down to ringside as the show fades to black.

In Conclusion

Because yes, that’s just what this show needed, more bloody Sid. I’m just sick of the big lug. Piss off back to WCW you useless lump so that I can enjoy this show without your atrocious wrestling ability and goofy mannerisms!

Aside from the disappointment of Sid making a return, most of this was the Corino, Cyrus and Taz Show, and that aspect of it was immensely entertaining. I’m not sure exactly where they are going with it, as you would have to imagine that Taz would destroy Corino if he ever had an actual match with him, but maybe Corino has a few more tricks up his sleeve?

Credible Vs Sabu isn’t a bad storyline, and I like the constant heel antics from Credible to get out of having to actually wrestle Sabu. Also, having Sabu run out and put someone through a table before getting dragged off by security is proving a very effective way to get him over. How good the eventual match between will be is up in the air at this stage, but at least they’re doing a good job of building up anticipation for it.

Hopefully you can all join me next week so we can see where these stories are going!