The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat–05.30.99

The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat – 05.30.99

Yeah, definitely skipping the Over the Edge episode. And then Vince starts this one with an Owen tribute just to bum me out anyway.

Taped from where I do not know.

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Kevin Kelly

Test & Tori v. Meat & Jacqueline

So Ryan Shamrock is here as a part of PMS, which I don’t remember at all. Meat pounds on Test to start, but walks into a gutwrench for two. Over to the women, as Jackie slugs away on Tori, but a dropkick and suplex gets two. Meat comes in and beats on Test again, but Test gets knocked into the corner and falls headfirst on Meat’s meat. So then Test tries to spank Jackie and everyone brawls, leading to Tori getting a DDT on Jackie for the pin at 2:55. Tori is not very good at wrestling and this was a complete mess.

Next up, we take an extended look at the history of the King of the Ring, which is to say Steve Austin and HHH winning, and ignoring everything that came before.

King of the Ring Qualifier: Jeff Jarrett v. Ken Shamrock

Jarrett is the new Intercontinental champion, having won it at RAW is Owen, and he slugs away and gets a dropkick, but Shamrock rolls him into the anklelock and goes to work on the leg. High kick gets two. Shamrock with a snap suplex, but Jarrett gets a legsweep for two. The announcers keep stressing that there are no second chances in this tournament! Except for HHH, who won in 97 after getting a second chance. Jarrett blocks a rana with a powerbomb and tries the figure-four, but Shamrock quickly reverses into the anklelock for the win at 3:00. This was fine, although of course Jarrett wins the title and then immediately is doing jobs on TV.

Meanwhile, Steve Austin is HERE.

King of the Ring Qualifier: Al Snow v. Hardcore Holly

They immediately brawl on the ramp and Holly hits the dropkick in the ring to take over. Snow gets the trapped headbutts and clotheslines him, but Holly gets the falcon arrow for the pin at 1:24. Well that wasn’t exactly an epic.

King of the Ring Qualifier: X-Pac v. Big Bossman

It’s so weird how they only refer to “the pay per view” on both commentary and in the graphics on screen, without ever saying “Over the Edge”. Kelly notes that both qualifiers thus far have “hinged on the ability to hit a finishing maneuver”. You don’t say? X-Pac quickly misses a charge and Bossman hauls him out of the corner by the hair and follows with a big boot. Bossman goes to the neck vice and follows with a backbreaker, but X-Pac comes back with a spinkick. Bossman cuts him off with a samoan drop, but covers too loosely and X-Pac gets the crucifix pin at 2:40. Basic big v. little match here. The Ministry tries for the beatdown afterwards, but Kane makes the save and chokeslams everyone for some big pops. Unfortunately that set up the Acolytes winning the tag titles the next night on RAW.

King of the Ring Qualifier: Mr. Ass v. Viscera

This is an odd way to kick off the heel singles push for Billy Gunn, who by the way is now referred to strictly as “Mr. Ass” and not his slave name, Billy Gunn. And now he’s got his “classic” music, “Ass Man”. Viscera throws the clubbing forearms to start and whips Ass into the corner and blocks a bodypress with a powerslam. Big splash misses and the fameasser finishes at 2:02.

Meanwhile, The Acolytes make a challenge for the tag team titles tomorrow on RAW!

Steve Austin joins us for the main event interview and he’s not gonna issue a challenge to Undertaker, but he still wants a rematch? I think? Undertaker appears on the screen and does one of his “OOOOOO I’M SO SCARY AND EVIL” promos, which Austin completely no-sells and promises to put a boot up his ass.

This was just a show, thankfully a bit more focused than usual due to the tournament format.