Date: April 5, 2019
Location: St. Clair’s College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Don Callis, Josh Matthews
So in the middle of all the insanity that is Wrestlemania weekend, we have this show in pursuit of anyone remembering that it’s actually taking place. That’s kind of a shame actually as things are pretty decent at the moment with Johnny Impact’s overdue heel turn already paying dividends. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap serves its lone function.
Petey Williams vs. Trey Miguel vs. Idris Abraham vs. Jake Crist vs. Aiden Prince vs. Ace Austin
Great. Williams is back. One fall to a finish so everything is insane to start with Austin being the last man standing, earning him a quadruple superkick until it’s Austin vs. Abraham alone in the ring. Williams replaces Abraham in a hurry with Petey grabbing a German suplex for two. Now it’s Prince taking Williams’ place and suplexing Austin for two. Abraham and his huge afro are back in with Trey spinning away from him. Crist is back in with a Death Valley Driver but Abraham drops him with a Blue Thunder Bomb.
Not to be outdone, Austin drops a frog splash for two on Abraham and drops Miguel with a swinging neckbreaker. Williams’ swinging Russian legsweep gets two on Miguel and the Sharpshooter goes on. That’s broken up so it’s O Canada to Crist in the corner. Austin puts Prince over Crist in the corner and it’s the Tower of Doom to bring everyone down. The Canadian Destroyer gives Petey two on Austin and it’s Prince flip diving onto Austin and Abraham on the floor. Back in and Williams hits a super Canadian Destroyer to finish Crist at 8:35.
Rating: C+. So you know every match with all of these people thrown into a match with everyone hitting their spots and moving on? This was the most recent one of them that I’ve seen. There’s nothing to separate them from the rest of their kind and Petey Williams is far from inspiring.
LAX and Konnan want to use Full Metal Mayhem to earn respect from the Lucha Bros.
Taya Valkyrie doesn’t care that she lost to Jordynne Grace last week. Madison Rayne comes in and says she wants a title match. Jordynne comes in and wants her rematch for the title but Taya makes a #1 contenders match for later tonight for the Rebellion title match.
OVE vs. Rich Swann/Willie Mack
Sami Callihan/Madman Fulton for OVE. Swann, now clean shaven, goes straight after Callihan to start and flips over him into the dropkick. Mack comes in, shrugs off a cheap shot from Fulton, and hits a 619 to Callihan’s ribs. Fulton’s second interference works a bit better and it’s Sami scoring with a clothesline to send us to a break. Back with Fulton suplex slamming Swann for two but Mack comes right back with a spinebuster.
A standing moonsault gets two but Fulton breaks up the hot tag attempt. The neck crank goes on for a bit until the break allows the hot tag off to Swann. Everything breaks down and Fulton is hurricanranaed to the floor, leaving Callihan to take a Lethal Injection. The Phoenix Splash misses and everyone but Mack heads outside, meaning it’s a big flip dive onto all three. Back in and Mack breaks up a Cactus Piledriver but gets slammed down by Fulton. The Cactus Piledriver finishes Swann at 14:01.
Rating: C+. This was mainly about making Fulton look like a monster and….they only kind of did that. Granted when you’re as big as Fulton, the monster thing is already included so it’s not the biggest deal in the world. This story has been going on for a long time now and I’d assume that Callihan gets the title soon. Like at Rebellion maybe.
Post match the beatdown is on until Tommy Dreamer makes the save with a chair.
Johnny Impact gets annoyed at being asked questions about Brian Cage and threatens to John Stossel Menendez. Killer Kross comes up and puts his arm around Menendez, saying he should get a title shot someday. Johnny looks worried.
Moose invades the Rascalz’ room and brings a female friend, with an invitation to bring a bunch of animals in as well.
GWN Classic Moment of the Week: Full Metal Mayhem at Bound For Glory 2011.
Rosemary goes to Allie’s grave and rants about Kiera Hogan and James Mitchell, plus her father Kevin Sullivan, all of whom are to blame. Then she disappears.
Jordynne Grace vs. Madison Rayne
The winner gets the Knockouts Title shot t at Rebellion. Grace throws her down with ease to start and then does it again even harder. Rayne’s middle rope crossbody bounces off of her so a rollup works a little better. An enziguri gives Rayne two but Grace Pounces her right back down.
Some knees to the back set up a not quite giant swing as Rayne’s back is in trouble. A backbreaker into a side slam keep Rayne down but the Vader Bomb misses. Rayne gets two off a high crossbody and she gets in a rear naked choke. That’s broken up as well and a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb gives Grace two. Grace has had it and the Grace Driver finishes Rayne at 8:48.
Rating: C. This is why Rayne was brought back in. She’s not the best in the world, but you’re going to get a good match from her and everything she does looks fine. Couple that with a resume and a pretty good promo and it’s easy to see the value in her. Put her in there with the newer talent and see what she can do for them.
Post match here’s Taya for a fight with Grace but Johnny comes out for a distract so Taya can beat her down. Johnny goes up for the Countdown To Impact but Cage makes the save.
Josh Alexander is coming and is presented like a psychopathic killer in amateur wrestling gear.
Josh recruits Ethan Page as his partner.
Rohit Raju vs. Fallah Bahh
Raju has both Singhs with him but there’s no KM. Bahh jumps over an early legsweep attempt and hits the spinning belly to belly. The charge hits post but Bahh is fine with a Samoan drop. There’s a running crossbody to set up the Banzai Drop but Singh knocks Bahh down, giving Raju the pin with feet on the ropes at 2:59.
Post match here’s Scarlett Bordeaux to slap Raju and it’s a double splash in the corner. Scarlett’s running hip attack (after pulling the dress up) lets her celebrate with Bahh.
The Deaners, a couple of rednecks, get Impact contracts.
Swann vs. Callihan for the X-Division Title is set for Rebellion.
Video on Gail Kim’s Hall of Fame career and the current feud with Tessa Blanchard.
Tessa Blanchard says Gail was great in the era of bra and panties match. Now people like Gail and Madison are trying to relive their glory days. This is Tessa’s era and in this era, Gail isn’t a legend.
Eli Drake/Eddie Edwards vs. LAX
Before the match, Konnan gets in an argument with Drake and punches him, meaning it’s an early ejection. The fight is on and we do that really annoying thing of taking a break less than twenty seconds in. Back with Santana punching Eddie until a blind tag lets Drake come in and take over. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Ortiz and it’s back to Eddie for a headbutt, which might hurt him more given the thickness of that hair. Drake gets two off a neckbreaker but Ortiz is right back with a middle rope dropkick for a breather.
It’s back to Santana to pick up the pace as everything breaks down. A tiger driver gives Eddie two on Santana with Ortiz making the save. That means a rolling cutter into a Codebreaker into a superkick into the double belly to back faceplant for two on Eddie with Drake making the save. The Street Sweeper is loaded up but here are the Lucha Bros for a distraction. That’s enough for Drake to get in a shot with Kenny, setting up the Boston Knee Party to finish Ortiz at 10:55.
Rating: B-. Not bad here and giving us a new main event team is a good thing. Drake and Eddie have more than enough of a combined resume to hang with either team and giving them this win is the right move. They could challenge the winners of Full Metal Mayhem for the titles…or at least they could if Impact hadn’t decided to release Drake for not liking one of their not great ideas.
Post match the Lucha Bros runs in and beat down LAX, with Santana being powerbombed through a table to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Nothing was bad on here, though nothing was must see either. That’s not a bad place to be for a show like this with very little importance. Rebellion is looking like any Impact pay per view: a solid card up and down but nothing that I’m overly excited to see. I’ll take a good but not great card over nothing shows though so they’ve moved to a nice new reality.
Petey Williams b. Trey Miguel, Idris Abraham, Jake Crist, Aiden Prince and Ace Austin – Super Canadian Destroyer to Crist
OVE b. Rich Swann/Willie Mack – Cactus Piledriver to Swann
Jordynne Grace b. Madison Rayne – Grace Driver
Fallah Bahh b. Rohit Raju – Rollup with feet on the ropes
Eddie Edwards/Eli Drake b. LAX – Boston Knee Party to Ortiz
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