The Coliseum Video Rant 2019 – The ULTIMATE WARRIOR
Oddly enough I had never done this one in the original run of Coliseum rants, nor the sequel in 92. So that gives you something to look forward to, I guess. But first, the original tape from 1989!
Originally released 06.28.89
Hosted by the Warrior, of course. The anti-smoking video he does at the beginning of the tape is kind of hilarious given all the other shit he pumped into his body over the years. It sure wasn’t smoking cigarettes that blew up his heart.
Ultimate Warrior v. Hercules Hernandez
From Wrestling Challenge, February 1988. We get the posedown to start, as warriors and gods tend to do, and Herc wants a tug of war with the chain, and Warrior promptly breaks it with his WARRIOR POWER. So Herc attacks him with it, and that’s a DQ at 2:00, at which point Hercules chokes him out while a variety of geeks and jobbers try to pry him off. Not exactly a hot angle to kick things off. 0 for 1.
Intercontinental title: Honky Tonk Man v. Ultimate Warrior
From Summerslam 88, of course. It was funny recapping the Observers from the time, because everyone with a subscription knew exactly what was going to happen, but of course at the time I was completely in the dark and blown away. And so yeah, Honky stupidly throws out one last grandstand challenge to anyone, which is answered by the Warrior and he cuts the Gordian Knot by destroying Honky before he can get DQ’d and wins the title at 0:30 with a big splash. 1 for 2.
Intercontinental title: Ultimate Warrior v. Honky Tonk Man
From SNME, January 1989. Mean Gene, Vince and Jesse all put forth the ridiculous “fact” that Honky would be the first person ever to regain the IC title if he wins this match. I mean, I know memories were short, but Tito Santana had just been a two-time champion three years earlier, plus Pedro Morales and Don Muraco had also traded the belt. Warrior throws Honky around and slugs away in the corner while the canned heat machine roars in approval. It’s so ridiculously overproduced that you can’t even hear the ring mic. Jimmy Hart takes the ref and Honky uses the megaphone repeatedly just to get some heat on Warrior, leading to Honky choking him out for his big offensive flurry. Warrior comes back with a slam, but misses an elbow, and then the big splash hits knees. But then a shoulderblock ends it shortly after, at 5:05, and Warrior manages to escape the awesome challenge of Honky Tonk Man sleepwalking through this. 1 for 3.
Intercontinental title: Ultimate Warrior v. Greg Valentine
Huh, so this is the dark match main event of the Main Event where the Megapowers exploded. It’s also a bizarre experiment in physics, because Warrior is unable to wrestle longer than 10 minutes and Greg needs that long to warm up, so I feel like they would cancel each other out somehow. I’m not sure how, I’m not a scientician. Warrior chases Jimmy Hart around the ring and walks into a shinguard to the head as a result as Hammer takes over. Warrior comes back with a splash, but misses an elbow and Hammer drops his own for two. Warrior decides that he’s had enough of the match for tonight and comes back with shoulderblocks, but Jimmy Hart runs in, so Warrior tosses him at Valentine, and then hits Valentine with his own shinguard and pins him at 3:50. Absolutely nothing to this one. 1 for 4.
Intercontinental title: Ultimate Warrior v. King Haku
I think we’re in Philly here. Haku attacks to start and Warrior fights back and actually leapfrogs him, but misses an elbow. Haku misses his own, so Warrior hits an atomic drop and throws chops in the corner. Blind charge misses and Haku goes to work with the nerve pinch. Warrior quickly fights out and rams Haku into the turnbuckles 10 times, which of course is a futile effort. Haku puts him down with an atomic drop and goes to work with a shoulderbreaker for two. Back to the neck massage, but Warrior fights out again, then immediately misses a splash. Haku chokes him out on the ropes and pinches the neck again, keeping things as simple as possible for Warrior. Grab a hold, let Warrior make a comeback, repeat. Warrior fights out again, so Haku slams him, but Warrior makes the big comeback with a faceplant and flying shoulderblock. Haku tries a suplex and Warrior reverses, then finishes with the big splash at 7:15 to retain. Good enough for rock n roll with simple spots and an easy night for both guys. 2 for 5.
WWF title: Randy Savage v. Ultimate Warrior
Dark match from Superstars here in February 89. Interestingly, they found another dark main event between these two from a month later and put it on the Randy Savage Unreleased DVD. Savage tries attacking Warrior to start, but he gets thrown out of the ring and then pressed back into the ring. Savage tries a double axehandle and gets caught in mid-air as the crowd is losing their minds. It can’t be said enough, but Savage had NUCLEAR heat after the Main Event turn. Warrior misses a blind charge after gently moving the ref out of the way, allowing Savage to put him on the floor with a high knee and follow with the double axehandle. Back in, goes to work with the necksnap and chokes away to take over, then drops a knee for two. Elbow gets two. Savage with the chinlock and Warrior fights out as the crowd just won’t let up, but Savage puts him down with the clothesline for two and follows with the double axehandle for two. Warrior reverses a suplex for two and makes the comeback while Rick Rude joins us at ringside to pose. Warrior ignores him and Savage manages a rollup for two. Rude continues posing at Warrior, who continues ignoring him and makes another comeback with clotheslines, and then finally goes to deal with Rude, who runs away. This allows Savage to hit Warrior with the axehandle to the floor and win by countout at 8:23. Pretty good match, although the one on the Savage DVD was better. 3 for 6.
Next up, we get the Super Posedown from Royal Rumble, and Rude’s win over Warrior at WM5, which I’ve reviewed a billion times already. It’s a good match. 4 for 7.
Intercontinental title: Rick Rude v. Ultimate Warrior
From the Boston Garden, April 89. Warrior is of course in a bad mood now, and storms the ring to destroy Rude before throwing him to the floor. Warrior works on the ribs outside and sends him back in for shoulderblocks until Bobby trips him up and Warrior follows like an idiot. This gives Rude a chance to escape and hide outside, but Warrior sends him into the post again and back in for a backdrop. Warrior chokes him out on the ropes and we’re suddenly into a different match as we never get the finish.
Intercontinental title: Rick Rude v. Ultimate Warrior
Off to the Meadowlands a couple of weeks later with Warrior again destroying Rude to start and getting a double axehandle and bearhug, then whips Rude around the ring and hands him in the Tree of Woe, and that’s where we leave things. I’m guessing they didn’t want to give away the match that was going around the circuit at that point, but why even put it on here then?
This was decidedly OK and nothing more. Next time we’ll move up to 1992 and see how things have changed for him.