The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 02.11.84
Taped from Shreveport, LA
Your hosts are Boyd Pierce & Junkyard Dog. Oh, this is gonna be a trainwreck.
So we start with a video feature on Magnum TA, with inspirational music obviously overdubbed, and the Bill Watts favorite of interspersing a photo shoot with match highlights. Check out the rippling, hairy pecs! You think any commie Russian has that kind of combination of muscle definition and well groomed chest hair? Not without STEROIDS, jack!
The Midnight Express v. Tommy Heggie & Brian Adidas
Adidas has some major jobbing face during the introductions. Bet he’s not sticking around the territory much longer. The Express doubles on Adidas, but he comes back with dropkicks on Eaton and controls Condrey with a headscissors on the mat. Meanwhile, JYD says something about the TA video and I’m gonna need a translator. Something about how he’d drive around with all the women if he wasn’t married, I think? Condrey comes back with kneedrops on the back and Eaton adds a slam and an elbowdrop. Over to Heggie and he’s got nothing to add, as Eaton quickly lays him out and drops an elbow off the middle rope. They double-team him with a Condrey powerslam off the middle rope and finish with an Eaton elbow off a Condrey backbreaker at 4:33. And yeah, a quick reveals that this was Adidas’s last TV match for Watts. MX squashes are an automatic point. 1 for 1.
TV title tournament: Masao Ito v. Leaping Lanny Poffo
Winner of this gets Terry Taylor at some point later in the tournament. Poffo works a headlock on Ito to start, but Ito goes to the knee to take over. Poffo slugs back in the corner, but takes too long and gets hit with the dreaded KARATE THRUST from Ito. Headbutt gets two. Poffo fights back with a slingshot splash for two FOR AMERICA, but gets choked out to cut off the comeback. Poffo flails around like a salmon taken out of the stream during spawning season as JYD does commentary best described as a combination of Ahmed Johnson and Boomhauer. Dang ol’ USA, man. Ito finally just hits him with a karate kick and puts him away at 7:00. Poffo was every generic babyface nothing you’ve ever seen here. 1 for 2.
Mr. Wrestling II v. Larry Santana
Wrestling II works a headlock to start and apparently everything left tonight are standby matches. Because all the TV title tournament matches are one fall with TV time remaining, so that no one can bitch about getting robbed by a draw. Nice touch. II wraps him up with a hammerlock into a headscissors while JYD admits that he wouldn’t know a wristlock from a chinlock. Now there’s a shoot comment. II finishes with the kneelift at 3:00 and the Midnights charge in for the beatdown while Dog has to watch and comment helplessly. However, they go for the mask and JYD can stand no more of this shit, and rushes in to make the save. Well, that’s gonna cost him $2500. Nothing to this one. 1 for 3.
Junkyard Dog talks with Jim Ross about how he couldn’t sit by and watch this injustice, even though he’s pretty much broke and he’ll have to pawn his car to afford the fine. But he could have been the next one tarred and feathered! Then Nikolai Volkoff, his tournament opponent next week, comes out to confront him and a giant brawl erupts, with Dog getting laid out by Volkoff and Masao Ito and everyone from the dressing room gets involved. Buddy Landel sends a jobber flying into the post in a quality moment and they finally calm everything down and take a break. 2 for 4.
Kursher Darsow & Nikolai Volkoff v. George Weingroff & John King
Boyd Pierce is really getting sick of this turncoat Darsow, who turned his back on America. I’m getting pretty sick of him sucking so much. Weingroff gets a quick flurry on Darsow, but Volkoff comes in with a flying forearm from the middle rope and drops Weingroff on the top rope and follows with a knee to the gut. King comes in and gets the beats as well, as Darsow drops him on the top rope and gets multiple slams. Volkoff comes in with a big boot and Darsow puts him away with the dreaded body vice at 3:00. 2 for 5.
Jim Neidhart v. Jerry Gray
Anvil beats on Gray in the corner as it remains unclear if he’s a babyface now or what. JR notes that Neidhart doesn’t like to listen to rules, so I guess he’s still a heel after the breakup with Reed. Anvil throws the jobber around the ring and adds a backdrop, then chokes him out on the ropes. He gets a vicious lariat out of the corner and finishes with a samoan drop at 2:15. Neidhart managed to bust himself open during the match at some point as well. Good squash here. 3 for 6.
Terry Taylor v. Tom Lentz
Lentz tries to overpower him but Taylor gets a monkey flip and works the arm. Another monkey flip and another armbar and the five-arm finishes at 2:21.
JR runs down the tournament thus far and Boyd runs down next week’s card: The popular girl wrestlers and the Rock N Roll Express will be here, along with JYD v. Volkoff in the TV title tournament!
Felt like a lot of filler this week, actually.