The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic–S02E06

The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic – S02E06

Taped from Full Sail

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Renee Young & Beth Phoenix

Time to wrap up the second round!

Second round: Io Shirai v. Zeuxis

The first round for Zeuxis was pretty rough so hopefully Shirai can get something out of her. Shirai dropkicks her to the floor to start, but Zeuxis blocks a dive and knocks Io off the apron with a baseball slide. Back in with a short arm scissors to work on the arm and double knees in the corner for two. They exchange strikes and Shirai is BUILDING MOMENTUM with her own double knees in the corner. Zeuxis bails to the floor and Io follows with a tope suicida that gets two. Zeuxis slams her for two and goes up, but she misses a moonsault and Shirai tries her own. Zeuxis cuts that off and tries the Spanish Fly, but Shirai blocks that and brings her down with a rana, then hits a double knee to the neck and wraps it up with a moonsault at 6:02. Not much to this one and the moonsault missed by a mile. **

Second round: Deonna Purrazzo v. Xia Li

I still don’t really get what Purrazzo’s gimmick is supposed to be. She’s, like, a submission specialist from New Jersey who bows like Hunter Hearst Helmsley? I guess? Purrazzo tries for an armbar early but Li escapes with kicks and a legdrop for two. She goes up with a flying kick from the middle rope for two. Purrazzo gets her own seated dropkick for two and goes to work on the arm. Li fights back, but Purrazzo gets a legsweep into the armbar, but Li rolls her over for two. Purrazzo goes back to the arm with an armbar takedown for two, but Li dropkicks her and both are down. They exchange chops and Li comes back with a high kick for two and yells that she’s HOT AND SPICY, but she dives at Purrazzo and lands in an armbar at 5:42. Deonna continues to not impress me. Li was a lot of fun here, though. **1/2

Second round: Nicole Matthews v. Tegan Nox

This is another one that lands firmly in the “who cares” pile as they’re really struggling to find interesting personalities and stories to tell this year. Matthews attacks during referee instructions and they fight to the floor, where Matthews throws kicks on the apron. Back in, that gets two. Matthews with a dropkick in the corner for two. She throws kicks in between gear adjustments and goes to a straitjacket hold and northern lights suplex for two. I’m impressed that she managed to adjust her boobs while holding the bridge on that one. She tries the Liontamer, but Nox cradles for two. They collide and Nox comes back with a cannonball and Shining Wizard for the pin at 3:45. Some pretty short matches this week. *1/2 Matthews literally spent the entire match trying to keep her boob from popping out, even while getting pinned. Michael Cole is sticking by his prediction that Nox is winning the tournament, so at least he’s consistent.

Second round: Kaitlyn v. Mia Yim

I feel like Kaitlyn needs a last name because just going by “Kaitlyn” is such a throwback to the terrible Divas era she was a part of. Maybe just be Celeste Bonin or Kaitlyn Celeste or something. Mia gets chops to start, but Kaitlyn dropkicks the knee and adds a series of legdrops for two. Cole is back to talking about Cinderella stories again. How is it a Cinderella story, exactly? She was already champion and a featured star in the promotion. Kaitlyn with a bodyscissors and she rolls Yim over for two, but tries a baseball slide and misses. Yim goes to work on the knee as a result and figure-fours the knee in a submission hold. She tries to punch Kaitlyn and hits the mat by mistake, which hurts the broken hand, and Kaitlyn takes advantage with SMALL JOINT MANIPULATION on the fingers. Always awesome. Yim reverses a slam for two, which is due to the bad knee according to the announcers. I feel like it’s probably because the weight of her giant boobs caused her to fall over. Kaitlyn fights back with slams and an F5 type of deal that gets two. Spear misses and Yim hits Sole Food for two. Kaitlyn with a spear for two. She goes for the bad hand again, but Yim rolls into a kneebar and Kaitlyn taps at 7:05. Another short match, but this was easily the best of the show. ***1/4

Next time: The quarterfinals start, and maybe we’ll finally get a full bracket shown.  Check back here later today for that!