The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat–12.27.98

The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat – 12.27.98

Taped from Tacoma, WA

Your hosts are Kevin Kelly & Shane McMahon

Vince McMahon joins us to start, and he brings out Kane. Vince points out that Kane is grotesquely scarred, and a complete moron, and a freak. But he’s working for Vince now, so that’s not a problem. But if Kane ever betrays him, it WILL be a problem. So TONIGHT, IN THIS VERY RING, it’s Kane v. X-Pac, and Vince would appreciate it if Kane would disembowel him. And then he forces Kane to thank him using the voice box.

Meanwhile, the Stooges offer to get Vince some coffee, but Vince sends Kane to fetch it instead.

Mosh v. Golga

Good god, is this STILL going? Golga beats on him in the corner and follows with the corner splash before dropping an elbow, but Thrasher trips him up on the butt splash and they choke him out on the ropes until the Animal runs in for the DQ at 1:30. 0 for 1.

PMS join us for an interview with Michael Cole, and this is the first time that Jackie and Terri are named as such. The canned heat is ridiculous for this. So Terri apparently hates men now, and they hit Cole with a low blow and leave. What a loser gimmick this was.

Meanwhile, the Stooges try to boss Kane around themselves, and that doesn’t go well for them.

Jeff Jarrett & Owen Hart v. Val Venis & Godfather

Godfather’s graphic says “with friends”. That’s one word for it. Godfather offers Debra the chance to “come aboard the ho train”, which is the first time we get that line, but sadly she turns him down. Val slugs away on JJ to start, but he misses a charge and Jarrett gets his own shots. Over to Owen, but he gets double-teamed by Supply & Demand with a slam into a splash. Jarrett gets a sleeper on Val while they read the AWFUL sounding USA Network shows, like Silk Stalkings, which apparently features the lead characters trying to catch a murdering ventriloquist. What? It’s a pier six and Val gets a legsweep on Jarrett, but Debra comes in for the distraction and Jarrett finishes with the Stroke at 3:11. Not much to this one. 0 for 2.

Meanwhile, the Acolytes are busy lacing up their boots.

WWF tag team titles: Ken Shamrock & Big Bossman v. The Hardy Boyz

The joke here is that the Hardy Boyz are supposed to be the #1 contenders according to Shane, but that’s SILLY. Who would buy the Hardy Boyz as tag team champions? Matt and Jeff quickly double-team Shamrock and Jeff gets a bodypress for two, but Ken blasts Jeff with a clothesline. Bossman comes in with a corner splash and meanwhile the Acolytes are WALKING. Shamrock finishes Jeff with the anklelock at 1:55, and the Acolytes storm in and destroy the champions. Perhaps they’re putting the locker room on notice? Regardless, it led to absolutely nothing. 0 for 3.

Meanwhile, we get a recap of 1998 to kill some time.

Kane v. X-Pac

Commisioner Shawn is going with a jacket and tie, but no shirt, and he sounds completely pilled up here as he sends D-X back to the dressing room. Jesus, no wonder they took him off TV again right away. So X-Pac immediately attacks with a chair and slugs away, but Kane tosses him around the ring. X-Pac kicks him in the nuts and hits the X Factor for two, but goes up and gets caught and chokeslammed for the pin at 1:23. European champion, squashed. Wow, D-X just got systematically screwed over and destroyed by the Corporation and really never got any revenge at ALL. 0 for 4.

A really boring Christmas season show this week. But I guess that’s better than ones filled with stupid Russo swerves?