The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat–12.20.98

The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat – 12.20.98

Taped from wherever.

Your hosts are Kevin Kelly & Shane McMahon

European title: X-Pac v. Tiger Ali Singh

The canned crown noise is so loud that it drowns out the entrance music for both guys. Like, come on. Tiger slugs away in the corner and follows with a press slam, but he stops to pose and X-Pac comes back with chops and stomps him down in the corner to set up the broncobuster. X-Factor finishes at 1:46. I’ve literally never seen X-Pac squash anyone before like that, so they were REALLY pissed at Tiger Ali. 1 for 1. Of minor note, the announcers officially name “Test” here and then spend the entire match talking about him instead of calling the match.

Brian Christopher & Kevin Quinn v. The Hardy Boyz

Quinn is replacing Scott Taylor in the team while he’s injured. Taylor does commentary here, dubbing himself “Scotty 2 Hotty” in the process. Quinn gets a flying headscissors on Matt, but Brian gets double-teamed by the Hardyz with an atomic drop and Brian runs away. Jeff comes in with the swanton on Quinn, but Brian hits him with the Stroke from behind and comes in with a powerbomb. Quinn goes up and gets slammed off by Jeff, and Matt goes up with a moonsault, but hits Brian’s knees, and then Jeff misses his own moonsault. Quinn suplexes Jeff and Brian goes up with the Tennessee Jam to finish at 3:00. The Hardyz were determined to get themselves over or die trying here. 2 for 2.

Meanwhile, Mankind is hiding out in the boiler room, and wants to be the Slam of the Week, Kaboom of the Week, whatever you got.

Al Snow v. Droz

After walking out on Droz multiple times, Animal is back here in his corner yet again. Snow gets a leg lariat and stomps away, then hits a clothesline out of the corner while Hawk returns to ringside with a huge cast on his arm. He clubs Droz with it behind the ref’s back, and the Snow Plow finishes at 1:20. So Hawk promises to reveal Droz’s secret on RAW tomorrow night as this storyline drags on. 2 for 3.

The Headbangers v. The Oddities

The Oddities bring a huge Christmas present to ringside and everyone brawls to start. Golga hits a corner splash on Thrasher, but Mosh pulls him out and they open the box, which turns out to be George Steele, and he attacks for a DQ at 1:20. The Animal actually would have fit in well with this group, but this was just a one-off. 2 for 4.

D-Generation X joins us and they’re all salty about the stuff that happened on RAW last week. Well, it wouldn’t get much better for them as the months progressed. HHH notes that “Tests are like rules, and rules are made to be broken.” That’s pretty weak. Rock and Test come out and Rock talks some trash while D-X all laughs off his threats. Rock runs down all the stuff he’s done to each member, and then ends with “Chyna: You went on a date with Mark Henry, nuff said.” BURN. HHH apparently “looks like Tarzan, but wrestles like Jane.” BURN SQUARED. HHH rebuts with “The taste in your mouth is deez nuts” which is a bit spicy for this show. Probably why it was bleeped. I’ll give it a point. 3 for 5.

The New Age Outlaws v. DOA

Kevin Kelly: “The Buried Alive match exceeded all my worst expectations.” I love shoot comments that aren’t supposed to be shoot comments. Shane gets a funny line as the Outlaws do their spiel and then he notes “Well the Outlaws sure did suck it last week when they lost the tag titles!” 8 Ball pounds on Road Dogg as apparently people will be subjected to a four hour marathon of The Net with Brooke Langdon after this show. Good lord. That’s like advertising a main event of Roman Reigns v. Baron Corbin on RAW. Skull pounds on Dogg in the corner, but 8 Ball misses a charge and it’s hot tag Billy Gunn. Everyone slugs it out and Paul Ellering comes in and hits his own man with the briefcase, and Gunn gets the pin at 3:10. So the DOA turn on him and beat him down. That HAD to be leading to the LOD reuniting with him as the original plan. 3 for 6.

Mankind v. The Rock v. Big Bossman v. Ken Shamrock

This is more accurately described as a Four Corners match, since it’s tag rules with only two people in the ring at a time. I wish they’d go back to that format, actually. Mankind tries to work Bossman’s arm and gets slugged down, and Rock comes in and beats on Mankind outside. Back in, Shamrock with a dropkick, but Mankind gets the Mandible Claw on Bossman and Rock quickly posts him to break it up. This brings out Vince and Test as Rock gets a DDT on Mankind for two. Bossman brings a chair into the ring and Rock Bottom onto that sets up the Corporate Elbow to finish at 6:05. A complete nothing of a match. Vince produces his own Socko, but D-X makes the save and we’re out. 3 for 7.

Strong start to the show, but the usual D-X v. Corporation dullness really dragged it down by the end.