The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–05.12.97

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 05.12.97

Well, last week’s show wasn’t great to say the least, but I like having an alternative to RAW to review and Nitro does good numbers. Not as good as Maffew’s ECW recap, which ended up as the #1 column on the entire blog last week, but still damn good. So let’s carry on!

Another short show this week. Hopefully not as rushed.

Live from Baltimore, MD, drawing 8000.

Your hosts are Tony, Bobby and Larry.

Macho Man storms to the ring to start and he declares his leg to be HEALED, and throws out a challenge to DDP and leaves.

WCW TV title: Ultimo Dragon v. Juventud Guerrera

They finally announce the six-man main event of Slamboree, which will be the BIGGEST SIX-MAN MAIN EVENT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT. Regal does an inset promo where he promises to go back to the mean and dirty Regal who fought in the carnivals and thus win the title at Slamboree. Dragon quickly hits Juvy with the kick combo and goes to a chinlock, but Juvy comes back with a leg lariat for two. Juvy comes back with a fisherman’s suplex and escapes the german suplex, but Dragon powerbombs him and goes up with a moonsault that misses. He recovers with a rana that Juvy turns into a sunset flip for two, but Dragon gets a quebrada for two. Dragon suplex is reversed into a rollup for two, but Dragon reverses back for two again. Juvy misses a blind charge and they fight to the top rope, where Dragon gets a superplex to win that battle. They fight for a suplex and both guys tumble to the floor for a slugfest out there, but Sonny Onoo trips Juvy up on the apron and allows Dragon to nail him with a kick from the apron. “What a great cheapshot that was!” declares Bobby. Back in, Dragon takes him to the top for a rana off the top rope and hooks the dragon sleeper to finish at 5:10. Crowd doesn’t care but they were going a million miles an hour and it was AWESOME. ***1/2

Kevin Greene, Roddy Piper and Ric Flair join us for a promo and it’s the one they should have done last week, basically saying here’s the match, here’s the PPV name, here’s the date. The Outsiders interrupt on one of the big screens and offer him an all-you-can-eat buffet down where? DOWN THERE! See, they’re insinuating that Piper can perform oral sex on them. Why would they want that? Isn’t that kind of gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m unsure about the motivations of these Outsiders. Anyway, according to the Observer, there was all kinds of political bullshit going on, with Piper wanting the match changed to a singles match with Syxx, and Flair & Greene facing the Outsiders, and they would have had to do it if Piper insisted because he had a Hogan-style creative control clause. But they found a way to appease him and formally announced the six-man main event instead.

Steve McMichael v. Dean Malenko

Mongo cuts his promo on Reggie White during his ring entrance, going for maximum efficiency here. Apparently he will be sending Reggie back to Green Bay in a “cheese box”. Malenko is the US champion but I presume this is non-title because no one says anything about it. Dean takes him down and works a headlock, but Mongo swats him down and stomps away on him. Dean dropkicks the knee, but Mongo basically ignores it and they do an awkward sequence that leads to Dean hitting a dropkick for two. This leads to Jarrett getting into proper position to trip Malenko but the ref is bumped and Mongo gets a powerslam with no ref. So Reggie White runs in and the Horsemen double-team him, but he comes back with a big splash on Mongo and Malenko gets the pin at 3:13. White looked even worse than McMichael here, which is an accomplishment. ½* I guess I’m gonna have to redo Slamboree to see how bad it can get. Reggie cuts a promo afterwards where he lets us know that he will NOT stand for people saying bad things about Green Bay. HOW DARE THEY.

Lee Marshall is in Asheville, NC for next week’s Nitro.

Scotty Riggs v. Wrath

So Bryan Clark finally has a name now, but sadly he doesn’t have talent to go with it. Wrath no-sells Riggs’ offense to start and hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker, then finishes with a Rock Bottom at 1:00. Glacier comes out for a staredown, but nothing comes of it.

Konnan & Hugh Morrus v. Alex Wright & Ice Train

Well this is quite the tag team match. The Dungeon attacks Ice Train in the corner, but he fights back with a powerslam and Wright comes in and slugs away on Morrus. He’s being all HEELISH so I guess this was the start of his turn. Finally he runs away and brings Train back in, and the DOD double-teams him while Wright dances outside. Train makes his own comeback and Wright claims a knee injury from the dancing and walks out on the match, leaving the Dungeon to finish Train with Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise at 3:17. Real bad as Ice Train looked completely lost out there and wasn’t in position for Morrus to hit his moonsault as intended. Wright was pretty funny playing heel, though. ½*

Meanwhile, the Outsiders attack Roddy Piper in the back and injure his hip again.

Eric Bischoff is out to deliver the promised exclusive interview with Sting, but of course it’s nWo Sting and this time the announcers immediately recognize him as a fake, unlike every other time they were fooled by Jeff Farmer or Kevin Nash or whoever. So Eric asks “Sting” all kinds of dumb questions about how he knows Hollywood Hogan is better and he could never be Hogan and blah blah blah, but the real Sting interrupts and takes nWo Sting out with the Scorpion death drop.

Oh, before we go, one minor note from the Observer for that week. Just a small one.

No major news coming from the Universal tapings in Orlando, FL. Horace Boulder was in but looked good. Another new guy was Bill Goldberg, a former football player who was the really big bodybuilder looking guy that wasn’t picked in the Piper angle with John Tenta. Considering these were his first matches, he was said to have shown a lot of potential.

You don’t say? Wonder if he’ll ever amount to anything?

Better show than last week, with the opener being off the chain and the rest being the usual stuff.