The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat–11.29.98

The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat – 11.29.98

OK, we’ll soldier on for now, at least until the Mick Foley title win. Wouldn’t want to leave money on the table, would I?

Live from Philly with a crazy 19,000 people.

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jim Cornette

WWF Light Heavyweight title: Duane Gill v. Christian

Real weird setup for the arena, as there’s no Titantron and the guys come out from a side entrance. Christian attacks in the corner to start and gets a powerslam, then follows with a dropkick and a facebuster. Flying splash misses and Gill gets two, but Christian cuts him off with a clothesline and the Blue Meanie makes his WWF debut, running in for the DQ at 1:46. Tony Garea half-heartedly chases him back into the crowd and then gives up. That’s the spirit, Tony! 0 for 1.

D-Lo Brown v. Steve Blackman

Blackman quickly attacks, but walks into a leg lariat and D-Lo drops an elbow. D-Lo slugs away in the corner but Blackman dropkicks him to the floor and they fight up the aisle. Blue Blazer tries to come out from under the ring, but his cape gets stuck on a bolt and Blackman beats on him and gets counted out at 2:00. 0 for 2.

Meanwhile, Vince and the stooges hang out in the luxury suite, and Vince wants Pat and Gerry to treat his special guests just as nicely as they’d treat Vince.

Meanwhile, Luna challenges the ICP and Headbangers to an 8 man tag at Rock Bottom. Clearly that didn’t happen.

The Headbangers v. Val Venis & Godfather

Yes, it’s the debut of SUPPLY & DEMAND. Val’s spiel is cut of by the Headbangers attacking him, but the Oddities immediately head out for the distraction, allowing Val to make the comeback on Mosh with a powerslam. Hot tag Godfather (at 1:00 in?), but he walks into a DDT. Golga stands on the apron forever waiting for someone to clue into the finish, and Godfather finishes with the Pimp Drop at 2:00. So we’re 3 for 3 on matches with interference and/or a big brawl. 0 for 3.

Meanwhile, Vince welcomes the New Age Outlaws to the skybox.

Meanwhile, Grandmaster Robbie introduces a clip of Al Snow playing Bop It with Head. Hilarity ensues.

European title: X-Pac v. Mark Henry

Mark’s got a new Nation theme variation this week as they continue to recycle that poor theme like Marge’s dress. X-Pac hits him with a baseball slide while he’s ogling girly pictures of Chyna in RAW magazine, and a spinkick gets two. X-Pac goes up and gets caught in a powerslam, but a blind charge misses and X-Pac gives him the broncobuster. Mark recovers with a corner splash, but he stops to talk with D-Lo and walks into the X-Factor at 1:46. 0 for 4.

Meanwhile, on RAW, Undertaker tries to embalm Steve Austin. Yup, I was hoping it was just a bad dream.

Jeff Jarrett v. Kane

Kane pretty much destroys him to start, but misses a big boot and Jarrett clips the knee and hits a DDT. Jarrett goes up and lands in a chokeslam, but Debra comes in and runs interference, allowing Jeff to grab the guitar for the DQ at 2:14. Hopefully Kane has a stringent anti-guitar policy as mayor to prevent this sort of thing from happening again. 0 for 5.

Big Bossman & Ken Shamrock v. Al Snow & Mankind

Mankind and Snow double-team Bossman to start, but Mick stops to yell at special commentator The Rock and Bossman beats on him from behind. Shamrock comes in and Mankind hits him with a neckbreaker, but Snow walks into a belly to belly suplex while Rock cuts a coked-up promo at the desk. Finally Mankind just attacks Rock while Bossman pins Snow with whatever at 2:46. The JOB Squad runs out to save Snow, and the Brood runs out to brawl with THEM, and holy shit this show sucked. 0 for 6.

I know it’s a hot take that Russo was a one trick pony, but covering up EVERY creative deficiency with “someone runs in, big brawl, end of segment” get a little tiresome.