The SmarK Rant for Sunday Night Heat–11.08.98

The SmarK Rant for WWF Sunday Night Heat – 11.08.98

Taped from…somewhere. Probably the same place as the taped RAW airing the next night.

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jim Cornette. Here’s a drinking game for everyone needing to stay hydrated on this horrifyingly hot weekend: Take a drink of ice water any time someone says “Deadly Game” in a manner where it’s awkwardly shoehorned into the conversation. You’ll be cool and refreshed in no time!

Too Much v. Scorpio & Bob Holly

Al Snow introduces his new team of “The JOB Squad”, who are fighting the evil organization of PUSH, since they’re not getting one. Meanwhile, Scott Taylor declares his love for Brian Christopher before the match, so we’ve got all kinds of stuff going on here. Everyone quickly brawls and Scorpio gets tossed, allowing Too Much to set up for the Vegomatic, but Holly cradles Taylor for the pin at 1:40. The ref acts like he wasn’t supposed to be counting the pin, which I’m sure was intended as some kind of inside-baseball reference from Russo. 0 for 1.

Meanwhile, Val Venis reveals that years ago, he had a vasectomy as a precaution against any accidents in his line of work, so whoever got Terri pregnant, it wasn’t him. Wow, such intrigue.

X-Pac v. Steven Regal (A Real Man’s Man)

So this doesn’t happen, as X-Pac makes his entrance and then Undertaker comes out to cut a promo. X-Pac isn’t down with that plan and tells Taker to find some other TV time, and yeah, that doesn’t go so well for him. I bet he’ll have to face wrestler’s court for that sassback. 0 for 2. And then they wondered by no one took the European title seriously. Undertaker is DARKER than ever! I bet he’s listening to Creed’s “My Own Prison” on repeat backstage and everything.

Meanwhile, Vince McMahon arrives into the tender loving care of his stooges.

Marc Mero v. The Godfather

This is the official refereeing debut of Shane McMahon (although he was already a referee earlier in the 90s) and Vince is watching from the back, ready to demote him to the ring crew if he does a lousy job here. Good thing Gorilla Monsoon wasn’t the one making the call. Mero attacks and clotheslines Godfather to the floor, and back in with a slingshot splash for two. Jackie assists with choking on the ropes as Vince decries the lousy job of maintaining order as Godfather makes the comeback and hits the Ho Train and a DDT for two. Mero tries the TKO, but Godfather escapes and finishes with the Pimp Drop at 3:58. This was fine. They were really pushing the shit out of the Godfather at this point for some reason. 1 for 3.

Meanwhile, X-Pac and the rest of D-X throw out a challenge to Undertaker for RAW tomorrow night. I don’t feel like that’s wise.

The New Age Outlaws come out to do their thing, but Vince interrupts and informs them that they’re defending the titles in a triple threat match against the Headbangers and the Nation at Survivor Series. Um, so why were the Outlaws out there in the first place? 1 for 4.

Jeff Jarrett v. Droz

Jarrett gets a neckbreaker right away while Owen Hart celebrates his retirement on commentary and stresses that he’s NOT the Blue Blazer. Gotta say, the man’s got photographic evidence from last week. If only it was true. Hawk runs in for the DQ and beats on Droz at 1:11, and finally Animal has had enough and they turn on Hawk with the Doomsday Device. And I guess you could say that was the very sad end of the Road Warriors, as they didn’t get back together until their brief return in 2003. 1 for 5.

The Rock is here and he wants his spot in the tournament back, and he’s not asking, he’s telling. So Vince returns again, and assures Rock that it’s not personal, just business. Vince hates the PEOPLE, not Rock. In fact, Rock is just another “Piece of meat” on the roster and harbors no ill will towards him. But the crowd, man he hates them. Well, he’s sure been getting back at them with Roman Reigns for the past four years. So anyway, Vince gives Rock one more chance to enter the tournament, with a match against Mark Henry where he has to win by pin or submission or else he’s FIRED. And since he carries the weight of the people on his back, that makes him the People’s Ass. Rock notes that it’s better to be the ass than to kiss Vince’s ass, and we’re out for the week.

Another very skippable episode.