The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Presents Greatest Wrestlemania Moments

The SmarK Rant for Wrestlemania’s Greatest Moments

‘Tis the season and this was playing on the Network live stream, so I figured it’s a fun little show to recap.

Hosted by the Coach and Charly Caruso

Coach gives his favorite moment: Getting abused by the Rock at Wrestlemania X-8, while Charly picks Austin turning heel at WM X-7. The actual countdown is based on a fan Twitter vote, so expect lots of questionable stuff.

#10. John Cena v. The Rock at Wrestlemania 28. The first one, not the boring title match in “New York”. This was of course the last wrestling PPV that will ever do a million buys and I really liked the match, although many hated it.

#9. The triangle ladder match at WM2000. I talked about this one a bit in my “Greatest Matches with Canadian wrestlers” list on Sporting News, and it was really a major shift in the tag team division at the time, signifying the three teams as the big force of tag wrestling and shuffling the older guys like the Outlaws to the side. For a while.

Nostalgia break! We stop to pay tribute to the first Wrestlemania and get some highlights from that show.

#8. The Undertaker’s Streak. Well that’s kind of a cheap pick, unless the actual moment is supposed to be Brock ending the streak, which is what they focus on here. Man, this one pretty much saved the WWE career of Lesnar after the HHH feud nearly killed him off.

We take a quick look at all the fake attendance records set by the shows over the years.

#7. John Cena and Nikki Bella get engaged at Wrestlemania 33. Really? REALLY?

#6. The End of an Era. That would be the Hell in the Cell match between Undertaker and HHH from WM28, of course. This is another one where there’s still some contention over my original rating of the match, but SCREW YOU, it’s my blog and I thought it was *****. Of course, no one ever really clarified what era was ending and both guys were on this year’s show 6 years later, so I dunno. It sure did seem like they were trying to symbolize SOMETHING.

Honorable mentions: The Austin Era begins! Shawn loves Flair! Hulk v. Warrior! Hulk v. Rock! How the fuck did those two matches not make it into the countdown and fucking NIKKI BELLA did?

#5. Hulk Hogan slams Andre the Giant. Fuck off, this should have been #1. What can you seriously hold up as a bigger moment than this? This list is a giant steaming pile of ass.

#4. The Hardy Boyz reunite at Wrestlemania 33. COME ON. This is seriously supposed to be a bigger moment than Hogan slamming Andre?

And now, a tribute to the shitty celebrity appearances we’re endured over the years.

The Women’s Revolution Evolution Revolution Evolution begins at Wrestlemania 32. Not one of the greatest moments in the countdown, though.

#3. Daniel Bryan wins the belts at Wrestlemania 30. They titled this one “The Ultimate Underdog” and edited the commentary to make it sound like it was some giant upset that Bryan beat HHH and then won the title, as if he was some kind of a job guy who had a miracle run. He was already World champion and WWE champion!

#2. The Heist of the Century. Seth Rollins cashes in Money in the Bank and steals the World title from Roman and Brock. Too bad someone didn’t have a briefcase to interrupt their shitty match this year. Funny that we can now watch the curb stomp again, when they had previously edited it out of replays of this.

More honorable mentions: Shawn rappels from the ceiling! Booty-Os! Bobby rides a camel! Hulk messes up the Superdome! D-X battles the nWo! Savage and Liz reunite! HOW IS THIS NOT ON THE LIST?!? Ronda Rousey debuts!

#1. Shawn Michaels v. Undertaker at WM25. The narrative here, by the way, is that this was the main event of the show and apparently HHH-Orton did not occur. And come on, this was great, and Shawn kicking out of the tombstone nearly gave me a damn heart attack, but no. Just no.

This list was some epic fail. When are we going to learn that DEMOCRACY JUST DOESN’T WORK?! Anyway, this was fine if you’re a wrestling reviewer like myself looking for something to waste 40 minutes with when there’s nothing better on YouTube, but as any kind of a serious discussion of great moments, it was a ridiculous pile of nonsense.

Hard pass.