The SmarK Rant for NXT–08.08.12

The SmarK Rant for NXT – 08.08.12

Hey, this was fun last time, let’s keep going with this for a bit.

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Byron Saxton & William Regal & JR

NXT title tournament quarterfinals: Michael McGillicutty v. Justin Gabriel

Gabriel uses his speed and wrestles Michael down to start, and works on the arm. Crucifix gets two and they trade suplexes, with Gabriel coming out ahead on that one, and he goes back to the arm as we take a break. Back with McGillicutty in control as the crowd is totally dead, in a stark contrast to what the Full Sail crowds are like today. Michael with the chinlock while the announcers fall over each other to talk about how great that he is and how he’ll be a huge star. I’m thinking this was shortly before they repackaged him as Curtis Axel and tried to put him over HHH and make people care. ‘Member that? When he supposedly knocked out HHH and Paul Heyman was gonna take him to the top? Anyway, after EONS of chinlock, Gabriel makes the comeback and goes up, but McGillicutty rolls away, so Gabriel powerbombs him for two. McGillicutty with the Perfectplex for two, but Gabriel hits an inverted DDT and tries a moonsault, but that misses and Michael finishes with a neckbreaker at 10:20. A complete bore of a match. *1/4

CJ Parker v. Kassius Ohno

CJ was still a dorky jobber at this point, not even into the hippie phase yet. He’s 1000% better off as Juice Robinson, obviously. Ohno comes in throwing elbows and hits a senton for two. Parker escapes a backdrop, but Ohno boots him down again. Parker makes a comeback with a clothesline for two, but then runs at him like a complete geek and gets booted down, leading to an elbow to the back of the head that finishes at 4:32. Good start for Ohno. **

Meanwhile, Jason Jordan and Mike Dalton decide that they’re teaming up full time now after their upset win last week.

Meanwhile, more vignettes with the Ascension in their original form as Illuminati weirdos, as opposed to Road Warrior ripoffs that they became.

Paige & Tamina Snuka v. Caylee Turner & Kaitlyn

Well three of these people we know, obviously. A quick check reveals that Turner is the younger sister of Alicia Fox, and was on Tough Enough in 2011, and in fact this is her one and only NXT match before leaving the business completely in 2012. Paige and Tamina work Kaitlyn over in the corner and Paige starts drawing a reaction from the crowd while Regal is practically pitching woo at her on commentary. Kaitlyn with a clothesline on Paige for two, and Turner comes in and gets two as well. Paige takes her down with a pair of snapmares for two. Over to Tamina and it’s just Botchamania as they blow everything they try, finally ending with Tamina getting a rollup for two. Turner with a chinlock, but Paige gets a hot tag and finishes Turner with a small package at 6:20. Woof. Not good. *

NXT title tournament, quarterfinals: Bo Dallas v. Jinder Mahal

Bo works the arm to start, and JR can see both men being WWE champion in the future. Well, he was half-right. Jinder slugs away in the corner, but Bo gets a bodypress for two and rolls him up for two. Jinder bails and JR pulls out “like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole” for Bo’s speed. We take a break and return with Jinder holding the chinlock, and he drops knees and gets two. This week’s show SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. Regal notes that Jinder trains the traditional Indian ways: Squats, pushups and swinging the clubs. So do Hindu push-ups give you backne, then? Dallas makes the comeback and I think one guy is like “Woo!” and a couple of people clap. Belly to belly gets two. Jinder cuts him off with a half-assed Michinoku driver for two. Bo with the Bo-Dog for two. Jinder tries a running knee and misses, and they do some kind of ridiculous botched attempt at a stungun that goes horribly wrong, leading to the camel clutch from Jinder at 8:56 to finish. So Jinder is off to the semi-finals to meet Richie Steamboat and this tournament is not off to a good start thus far. *1/2

Not a good week at all. Better luck NeXT time.