Coliseum Video Rant 2018: Wrestling Superheroes!
(Originally written 03.14.18)
Hey, superheroes are all the rage these days, so this is an appropriate next video in the Coliseum series on the Network. This was originally released in March of 1990, although I’ve never seen or heard of this one before. Sean does assure us that this is a “virtual collector’s item”, however, so it should be good!
Hosted by Sean Mooney
The Powers of Pain & Mr. Fuji v. Demolition
OK, so this is just the match from Wrestlemania V. Ax pounds on Warlord to start, getting a teenie reaction from the crowd, and the Demos add a double-team beating and Smash chinlocks him. Ax adds his own chinlock. Barbarian comes in and gets smashed by Smash, and axed by Ax. Smash elbows him down and they add a double-elbow, and Ax goes to the neck vice. Barbarian comes back with a chop to Smash, but Warlord can’t follow up, which results in the champs hitting him with a double clothesline. Ax goes after Fuji, however, and gets hit from behind to turn the tide. Fuji finally tags in and chops Ax down, then adds his falling headbutt. Over to Barbarian, who starts working the back and boots Ax down. Jumping clothesline and Warlord comes in and stays on the back, choking him down for two. Barbarian powerslams him into a Fuji flying splash, but it misses and it looks like the hot tag until Warlord cuts it off. Smash gets it anyway, although the crowd doesn’t care, and he clotheslines everyone. They clothesline him on the top rope and Smash gets two, but Fuji comes in, armed with salt. And maybe pepper, I’m not sure. However, it goes awry, and Demolition Decapitation ends it at 8:45. Watchable, I guess, but not much more. 0 for 1.
Jimmy Snuka v. Greg Valentine
This one’s from Saturday Night’s Main Event as this appears to be a pretty lazy compilation of stuff already on the Network elsewhere. Hammer attacks to start but gets chopped down and the fake crowd goes crazy! Canned heat is REALLY obnoxious when you’re listening with headphones. Hammer drops some elbows, but it only gets two from special referee Rugged Ron Garvin. Hammer dumps Snuka and the fake boos reign down, although it sounds like the same 10 second clip in a loop. Garvin gives Hammer a talking to with HANDS OF STONE, and Snuka comes in with a flying bodypress for the pin at 3:00. 0 for 2. Jesse Ventura rightly protests the obviously biased refereeing job here.
Cage match: Rick Rude v. Roddy Piper
This is from MSG and has been featured on multiple Coliseum videos before, but this one now edits Rude’s music out. Rude attacks and pounds on Piper in the corner to start, but Piper whips him with his belt and chokes away on the mat. Rude tries to run, so Piper hauls him down by the tights and runs him into the cage. Piper tries to go after Heenan and gets crotched by Rude as a result, and Rude is sporting a mighty swath of blood on his face. Rude hammers him down for two and then tries for the door (with help from Bobby) but Piper desperately hauls him in by the tights and Rude’s ass is pretty much hanging out for the rest of the match. They slug it out and Rude hits the Rude Awakening out of nowhere, but can’t make it to the door in time and Piper tackles him. They both climb the cage and slug it out on top, but both guys land on the floor at the same time and THIS MATCH MUST CONTINUE. Rude puts him down with a chair and hauls him back in, then heads to the top of the cage with a fistdrop and Piper is spasming. That gets two, so Rude SPIKES him with a piledriver and climbs to the top again, but this time Piper shakes the cage and brings him down, leaving him hanging upside down and helpless. And Piper tries to walk out, but Heenan slams the door in his face as Rude gets free. Back in, that gets two. Heenan passes the dreaded international object to Rude through the cage, but Piper steals it, knocks him out, and walks out the door at 13:20. This was about as good as a WWF-style cage match was going to be at this point. 1 for 3.
WWF title: Hulk Hogan v. Hercules
Another from SNME in 86, fresh off Slick selling the contract of Hercules to Bobby Heenan (for cash, because he doesn’t trust the Brain). Herc tries a test of strength and loses, so he runs Hulk into the turnbuckle and slugs away on him. Hulk fires back with a high knee and big boot, but the elbow misses and Herc goes to work on the back. Herc with the torture rack, but he releases prematurely (Hey-oh!) and tries for the pin instead. And then it’s the usual Hulk comeback and finish from there at 6:13. Short and inoffensive. 2 for 4.
WWF title: Randy Savage v. Ultimate Warrior
Back to MSG for this one, as this was the amazing time early in 1989 between Savage’s heel turn and Wrestlemania V when Savage had NUCLEAR heel heat. Warrior blitzes him to start and Savage goes flying to the floor. Warrior beats on him outside and then presses him back into the ring. Savage catches him with a cheapshot on the way in and goes up with a flying bodypress, but Warrior casually catches him and hangs him in the Tree of Woe as the crowd goes APESHIT. Warrior slugs away in the corner and is clearly not even making contact thanks to the magic of bad camera angles, and Savage puts him on the floor with a high knee. Macho follows with the double axehandle to the floor and necksnaps him for two and I’m legit shocked Warrior can maintain this kind of pace and intensity. Finally Savage slows it down with a chinlock and beats him down for two, but Warrior fights up and suplexes him for two. At this point, Rick Rude wanders down and poses at him while Warrior makes the comeback with an atomic drop for two. Warrior is showing remarkable restraint by not letting Rude get to him. Savage rolls up Warrior with the tights for two, and blocks the big splash with his knees and that gets two. Savage pounds away and Warrior makes the comeback as the crowd goes even more apeshit bananas, although Warrior is clearly sucking wind. Warrior with a running powerslam of all things, but he goes after Rude after ignoring him for the last few minutes, and stupidly gets counted out at 9:26 like a big stupid stupidhead. This was a HELL of a match and was well worth going out of your way to watch. Alfred thinks this may have been collusion between Savage and Rude. You THINK? 3 for 5.
If you haven’t seen the Rude/Piper cage match or the MEGA-HOT Warrior-Savage match, this is only an hour long and is a totally fine tape to check out.