The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground – S01E17
“A War Started in Mexico…”
Your hosts are Matt Striker & Vampiro
Dario Cueto gives Alberto a pep talk before his first match tonight: A warmup match against Ricky Mandel! Alberto wants Texano, but Dario wants a few weeks to promote that, so he offers up Famous B instead. Alberto trashes the office, so Dario decides that Texano is a great main event after all.
Mil Muertes v. Fenix
Fenix comes off the stairs with a rana before the match even starts, and superkicks Muertes into the ring and follows with a top rope legdrop for two. Mil takes him down with a lariat and pounds away on the mat, then adds a TKO for two. To the chinlock, but Fenix slugs out to escape while Catrina joins us a few minutes late. Fenix dropkicks the knee to put him on the floor and follows with a dive, and back in with a Diamond Cutter for two. Fenix goes up, but Mil follows him up and brings him down with a codebreaker off the top, which sets up the Flatliner to finish at 5:45. Impressive finish, but this was 99% Fenix bouncing off the stationary Mil. ** Afterwards, Catrina denies Mil the Lick of Death, so Mil hauls her into the ring while Fenix steals the magic stone and saves her. So Catrina gives Muertes the deadly lick instead, and makes out with Fenix to apparently turn babyface. I don’t trust this chick for some reason. Maybe it’s the connections to ultimate evil, I dunno.
Mientras Tanto, Konnan is off in a warehouse plotting REVENGE against Cage.
Ivelisse brings her case to Dario, who books a rematch with Angelico with Havoc as special referee. Hopefully, Dario notes, he can control his woman INSIDE the ring. OUCH.
Mientras Tanto, Alberto offers some friendly advice to Prince Puma, namely hang onto the title and keep an eye on it for when Patron decides to come after it.
Big Ryck v. Sexy Star
Winner of this gets the Crew in a 3-on-1 match, and Sexy throws kicks to start but can’t even irish whip him. Ryck finally has enough and charges, but he misses and Star gets a flying bodypress for two. He throws her out and demands that she stay down, but she heads back in, and he just puts her down gently and pins her by holding her down at 2:00. ½* See, that was at least a more reasonable man v. woman scenario, where the huge guy doesn’t want to fight back and just does the minimum to win without hurting her. And then the Crew charges in and beats them both down, but Ryck has had enough of this crap and sends them packing.
We get a nice video package about Alberto’s history and feud with Texano in AAA, but this still doesn’t feel like a bigtime feud for Lucha Underground, it feels like something transplanted from another promotion with two guys that don’t really have a character yet.
Alberto El Patron v. Texano
Texano grabs a headlock, but Patron hiptosses him to escape and Texano bails. Back in, he takes over with a cheapshot and adds a backdrop suplex out of the corner, but Patron hits him with a rana and slugs away in the corner. They helpfully have the crowd subtitled as they count to ten. They head to the floor for a brawl where Texano gets a DDT and runs him into the post. Back in for the chinlock, but Alberto fights out, so Texano posts the shoulder and goes to work on the arm. Texano goes up and Alberto brings him down with a superplex and makes the comeback. Backbreaker and backstabber gets two. Texano gets a spinebuster and pounds him in the corner, then grabs the bullrope behind the ref’s back and beats on him with that for a bit. Alberto fights him off with the double stomp, but Texano blocks the armbar with a powerbomb for two. Alberto with the short superkick for two. Texano grabs the bullrope again, but Alberto blocks him with a tornado DDT and then whips him with the rope for the DQ at 12:25. Match was good, but I’m just not invested in this feud at all. ***
Mientras Tanto, King Cuerno promises to beat Johnny Mundo in next week’s cage match main event, and then mount his head on Dario’s wall. Now there’s a stipulation you don’t see much.
This Texano feud isn’t clicking much for me because it’s so disconnected from everything else on the show, but the rest continues rolling along nicely.