ECW on Sci-Fi #83 01/01/2008

Dramatic recap of MVP beating up Punk so badly that he lost, followed by Chavo beating up Punk. I’m glad they stopped there, any further down the ladder and Kim Chee would have beat up Punk.

We’re in Richmond, VA and Armando welcomes Chavo to the ring. Chavo reminds us he only returned to action recently after getting injured by Rey, so he’s been sat at home watching TV and seeing the rise of this new guy Punk and he’s hated it. Punk storms out, furious to know why Chavo’s annoyed at him. Chavo calls him a stepping stone but Armando stops them coming to blows, setting up a non-title match for a title match if Chavo wins. Straight-forward segment, crowd’s still a bit iffy on Chavo though because…it’s Chavo.

John Morrison, The Miz & Layla vs. Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang & Kelly Kelly

This should be 2/3 good. Tazz dubs Yang & Moore ”the Redneck and The Reject” which isn’t half bad and Styles reminds us Miz still owns Kelly’s contract in a storyline I thought was finished months ago. The women start off and it’s a marked improvement (sadly for me) as they go through what looks like a well-rehearsed sequence before Morrison tags in and hip swivels Kelly. He gets a slap and Moore enters with a crossbody for two. Miz and Morrison work over the Reject with their cool-looking double-teams for a while, even Moore getting a quick Sunset Flip on Morrison can’t help him from their sound tag strategy. Moore gets chinlocked until he powers out and makes the hot tag to Wang who destroys Miz with a Frankensteiner and top rope dropkick. Morrison breaks up the pin and takes Moore outside so Layla tries to attack Wang. It has no effect so he gives her a kiss and this sexual assault is enough for Kelly to spear her outside the ring. Wang counters an Irish whip into a double-jump moonsault press to pin Miz.

Winners: Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang & Kelly Kelly (Better than expected as the women only had two bits and they didn’t fuck either of them up. Match was an abbreviated version of their past two matches but it was still good and Wang in particular looked great as the one-man-spot-fest machine.)

Because of their multiple wins against the champs, The Cowboy and The Manboy get a shot next week in a 15 Minutes of Fame match. Look at this show growing up and maturing before our very eyes.

Tazz interviews Colin Delaney and shows us footage of him losing to Shelton Benjamin in his first ever match. Colin says he’ll do better tonight and wants to become an ECW Superstar by the end of the year. Tazz introduces his opponent and runs out the ring.

Colin Delaney vs. Big Daddy V

Poor little white boy tries some chops but V stands on him. Gorilla Press Slam, Samoan Drop, Big Tittie Elbow.

Winner: Big Daddy V (My dream match.)

Shelton Benjamin vs. James Curtis

That’s Damien Sandow’s old tag partner, the Andrew Ridgeley to his George Michael. Shelton gets a windowed promo and he’s getting slightly better as he’s grinning the whole time. Still sounds forced as it’s hard to sound normal talking about gold and laughing all the time. Exploder Suplex (which even Tazz says you can call a T-Bone Suplex, I used to ask people what the difference was all the time). Curtis gets a cheeky roll-up which Shelton doesn’t appreciate so he gives him a stalling suplex. Match grinds to a stall like a mid-season episode of Treme as Shelton stretches Curtis. Crowd is so quiet you can hear the ref loudly asking Curtis WHATTA SAY EH WHATTA SAY? Shelton finishes with the Sting-Killer Running Powerbomb and the Paydirt.

Winner: Shelton Benjamin (Was fine until they had to stretch it out with a long-arse submission section. No-one believes Curtis is winning, hurry up and pin him already.)

CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero

So Chavo is pissed at Punk rising up the ranks, I think that was the basis of the Hardcore Holly feud last year but without the real-life heat from that one meeting with Tony Atlas. This is Chavo’s first match in four months. They mat-wrestle to begin with and Chavo is fine at it, which helps the sequences. No offence to Punk but sometimes his mat-wrestling stuff looks like he’s just repeating sequences he’s seen on VHS. Punk side-steps Chavo but tweaks his knee in the process, still manages to give him a hip-toss after a counter sequence. Match has been all action so far. Punk counters an Irish whip counter into a crossbody for two and we go to break. Back from break we’re NOT in a chinlock, breaking tradition. Chavo is working over Punk’s tweaked knee, by giving it a rolling snap like Curt Hennig and then trying to yank it off like Kerry Von Erich. Chavo keeps him grounded and locks in an Indian Deathlock while mixing it up with a neck crank and armbar. Chavo looks at home doing submissions. Punk makes a comeback as the crowd chant his name so Chavo chop blocks his leg out. Chavo bends the knee over the rope and twats it, following it up with a Physio Stretch (which would help in real life. I think).

Punk escapes by getting his other leg up and giving Chavo a headscissors. Punk makes his firey comeback but sticks to kicks which aren’t as effective as before and staggers along rather than running. YEAH SELL THAT SHIT. Punk can’t manage a Double Underhook Suplex because he doesn’t have the base but he still manages to punt Chavo in the face. Chavo however gets a Lance Storm-style roll-up into a Single Crab but Punk gets the ropes. He’s getting real boos now from the crowd so he tries Three Amigos. Punk counters the third suplex into the GTS but his knee buckles before he can land it. Punk instead thinks ”fuck it” and takes them both outside. After some jostling, Chavo gets pushed out the ring before Punk and loses via Count Out.

Winner: CM Punk (I enjoyed this way more than I was expecting. Chavo was a beast on leg-related offence and was perfect beating up Punk to the crowd’ behest. Surprised at the finish though, if there was ever a time for Chavo to win a match clean it was here.)

Overall: Nice episode with three storylines in play (if Colin vs. Life counts) so we’re 1 for 1 in 2008 so far. Chavo is a good pick for ECW On Sci-Fi as he’s not making headway on Raw or Smackdown so this is one way of moving him without firing him. Let’s keep it up until a certain commentator makes his debut.

I’ve been Maffew and there’ll be a new Botchamania tomorrow so I’ll plug it then. I’ve typed fuck-all this week aside from Twitter so hey go follow that instead.