We gotta go, we’re behind here! As usual, I suppose.
Let’s watch some wrestling, shall we?
Ring of Honor – 10/18/17
We begin outside the arena, where The Addiction are making their way into the building! Or at least, trying to make their way in, as security tells them that they’re not allowed in. Daniels tries to tell the security guards that they’re the former World Tag Team champs, he’s a former World champion, and they’re GOING to let them in! Security seems unmoved even as Kaz threatens to kick their ass, but Daniels points out that they’re just doing their jobs, right? Kaz tells security to enjoy that studio apartment as they leave. Somehow, I feel as though that’s not the end of this.
We are TAPED from Sam’s Town Live in Las Vegas, Nevada! Your hosts are Ian Riccaboni & Colt Cabana.
Hey, that’s the music of KUSHIDA! Good job sucking up to this recapper, ROH! The man himself makes his way out wearing some bitchin’ Doc Brown shades and the IWGP Jr title, which now resides around the waist of one Will Ospreay, but due to the magic of pre-tape, he is once AGAIN the champ! That’s how it works, right? His opponent is hailing from the familiar burg of ‘already in the ring’ – Scorpio Sky! He’s had a long career on the indies, but you may remember him best as “Harold” from the Daniel Bryan/Kane anger management segments on Raw!
KUSHIDA vs Scorpio Sky
They circle to start, and KUSHIDA gets a hammerlock, reversed by Sky. Single-leg takedown by KUSHIDA to free himself, Sky manages to get back to his feet and try a wristlock into a go-behind, but eats a KUSHIDA elbow to the face for his trouble. They run the ropes, and Sky hits an excellent dropkick, good air on it, then a backbreaker from Scorpio gets two. Back to their feet and they trade forearms, then slaps, but KUSHIDA fires kicks to the arm, Irish whip reversed by Sky, KUSHIDA comes off the ropes with a back handspring elbow. Armdrag by KUSHIDA as the camera shows KUSHIDA’s mom, apparently – ma’am, you turned out a hell of a professional wrestler. Be proud! KUSHIDA bends the elbow back on the mat and stomps on the hand of Sky, cross-corner whip by KUSHIDA. He follows Sky in, but Scorpio slips to the apron, then springs back in with a headscissors on KUSHIDA, then a double-leg takedown rolled through into a neckbreaker! 1, 2, no! Bodyslam by Sky and he goes up, Scorpion off the top with a flying elbow…..caught by KUSHIDA into a cross-armbreaker! Sky makes the ropes as we hear an airhorn? Oh, it’s just Christopher Daniels, who has somehow gotten into the building AND managed to get over the barricade outside the ring! CRACK SECURITY STAFF, ROH! KUSHIDA puts his hands over his ears and looks distracted, which is probably why he doesn’t see Kaz coming into the ring with the Greco-Roman kick to the nuts for the DQ. Man, those security guards are gettin’ FIRED. (KUSHIDA over Scorpion Sky, DQ, 3:25)
WORTH WATCHING? – Match was barely trending above ‘KUSHIDA wrestles himself’, and with that ending, there’s no need to waste your time. NO, this was a waste of KUSHIDA, although I acknowledge that it was probably done to set up a match later on, which is fine but it doesn’t mean this was worth a look. Sky looked fine in there, but there’s wasn’t much to really judge him on, to be honest.
Post-match, the beatdown is on, as Kaz moves on to Scorpio and Daniels gets in to stomp away on KUSHIDA. Security STILL isn’t in the ring to stop this – they must still be watching the entrances, congratulating themselves on the AWESOME job they did keeping the Addiction out of the arena! Celebrity Rehab hits on Sky and they turn their attention to KUSHIDA now, but Jay Lethal runs in to make the save. Well, that was certainly something! There are probably many somethings to come, buried in the following great ads!
We’re back with some video from the break, as Lethal got the stick! “Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian, you guys have proven that you have got a problem with Ring of Honor, which simply means you have got a problem with me!” He’ll no longer stand by while this company is constantly disrespected! So, how about they take on Lethal and KUSHIDA?
The commentators tell us that we now have tonight’s main event, as we’ll get a double dose of KUSHIDA! I’m down.
Now, let’s take a look at Jay Briscoe turning on Bully Ray at Death Before Dishonor. Good GOD, that was a crazy shot with that table. Footage from last week’s promo with Tommy Dreamer airs, with Briscoe just staring at Dreamer.
And here comes Bully Ray. Okay, so here’s the deal:
I don’t hate Bully Ray. And when he was teaming with the Briscoes as a 6-man team, I thought it was a pretty effective way to use him, to be honest. Get the nostalgia pop, he’s a good enough worker even at his age they were able to mask his weaknesses in tags, and he cuts a great promo. Really, it didn’t bother me at all. And Dreamer cut a really good promo last week, and the turn by Jay is exactly what he needed.
Here’s the but, though; so long as the culmination of this whole thing is Jay Briscoe beating the holy hell out of Ray and leaving him a mess at the end of it, we’re fine. Anything that involves Bully (or Dreamer for that matter) being put anywhere NEAR the top of the card in ROH is crazy. Jay Briscoe should beat the ever-living FUCK out of Bully and Tommy and they should not be seen again in ROH pretty much ever. I’m hoping that Mark turns as well and we get sadistic, killer Briscoes to mow down the tag division out of this whole thing. That’s the only way to go here. And, AND, after hearing Tommy’s serious promo last week about Bully’s condition and the injuries he’s dealing with, I’m not honestly sure I want to see Ray ever wrestle again assuming that Dreamer was telling the truth, which I’m not sure was the point of that promo.
Look, we’ll see. This program has been done well, I admit it, but there’s a larger question to be answered here; how many people want to see the Briscoes wrestle Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer in 2017? And with only a single hour of TV each week, how much time do we want to spend on it considering that particular fact?
Okay, enough pontificating. Back to the show.
Bully slowly makes his way out to the ring as the crowd chants for him. He’s got a mic, so let’s hear what he has to say! “Um, I’ve gotta apologize for no entrance music tonight, gotta apologize for wearing sunglasses, have to apologize for speaking really low.” He’s doing what his doctor told him to do; at the PPV, he took a pretty bad shot to the head. And head trauma isn’t something he can deal with anymore – loud music, bright lights, everything is affecting him right now. He’s been doing this a long time, he appreciates the respect the crowd has given him, he appreciates that they’ve always had a really great relationship. There’s nothing more he’d rather do than yell and scream about how he’s going to get his revenge on Jay Briscoe, but he isn’t sure he’s going to get revenge on him, because for the first time in his life and career, he’s considering stepping away. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do; he doesn’t have a choice right now. He has to think about himself, his own health, his family first. The fans have been his wrestling family for so long, and he’s always tried to put them first, but he has to do something else now. Thank you, and he’ll see us all down the road. He waves goodbye and looks to leave, but we see that Mark Briscoe has appeared coming down the ramp. He shakes Bully’s hand and gives him a hug after telling him that Bully’s issue is with Jay, and he’s always got Bully’s back. Oh, he’s TOTALLY turning later. Speaking of later, that will come after we watch the following great ads!
We’re back with a video package of Kenny King winning the ROH TV title at Death Before Dishonor, then his promo from last week laying down a challenge to anyone who wants the belt. Shane Taylor, Chuckie T, Punishment Martinez, and Mark Briscoe all seemed quite interested in this prospect. Next week on ROH TV, it’s a 4-way to determine his #1 contender!
“Bullet Club!” And here we go. The Bucks are out first, with Daddy Jackson, and they’re soon followed by Adam Page, Brandi Rhodes, A DUDE IN A SUIT (My God!), and the reigning Ring of Honor World champion himself, Cody Rhodes! And it seems that Shane Taylor is joining us as well. The Bullet Club makes their way to the ring as Cody hands a big ol’ wad of cash to Taylor, who is apparently here as a bodyguard for Cody. The champ has the stick! “After Death Before Dishonor, Ring of Honor finally ponied up and offered me the most lucrative contract in the company’s history!” Hey, where’s Marty Scurll? Probably off doing Villain things. Anyway, the crowd thinks he deserves it, except for a vocal minority that disagrees. It was November 2015 when the Bucks were fielding offers from every wrestling company on the planet, the best tag team in the world! In pro wrestling, we often blur the line between reality and story, but the Young Bucks made the choice to be in ROH, and tonight (Cody puts on an ROH hat), tonight, Cody chooses Ring of Honor! He signs the deal provided by DUDE IN A SUIT (who is apparently Cody’s manager), and the streamers fly! Yeah! The world champ is staying! Take that, CM Punk! No summer of Cody here! Crowd chants “ROH!” as Cody shakes hands with the rest of the Bullet Club. Everyone exits as Cody has some business. He thinks his first night as an exclusive ROH wrestler should have a title defense, so he’s going to defend it right now! There’s been some discussion about his opponent – he’s openly challenged for the title, he’s arguably the 2nd-most popular wrestler in all of ROH, he has one of the greatest entrances in all of Ring of Honor; crowd chants for Dalton Castle, they’re ready! Cody says that’s right – give it up for your #1 contender, Cheeseburger! BOOOOO!!!
That wasn’t the crowd, that was just me.
Anyway, Cheeseburger hits the ring as Cody sarcastically applauds. Bobby Cruise makes the introductions, and it appears that we’re going to have a title match right now! Cody takes off his jacket and rolls up his sleeves! This is gonna be a barnburner! No, wait; that can’t be right…..dumpster fire! I knew it had something to do with fire! This is gonna be a DUMPSTER FIRE! Don’t miss it after the following great ads!
We’re back AND this match is still happening! Joy!
Cody Rhodes (c) vs Cheeseburger – Ring of Honor World title match
Cheeseburger offers the Code of Honor, but Cody has a better idea, and he tells Cheeseburger to kiss the ring! ‘Burger is not inclined to do so and pushes Cody’s hand away, then offers the shake, so Cody slaps him! We’ll call that ‘declining’ the Code there. Cody teases throwing his tie to the crowd before handing it to Taylor at ringside, along with the ring. Lockup and Cody with a wristlock, some chain wrestling that ends up taking Cheeseburger to the mat with a drop toehold, and Cody slaps him in the back of the head a few times. Yeah! Get him, Cody! I’m not objective, by the way. Cheeseburger shoves Cody, then drops him with a strike. Cody sends him to the corner, Cheeseburger tries a headscissors, Rhodes tosses him up off that, ‘Burger responds with a kick to the chest, then a running knee strike! Cody slides to the floor and rips off his shirt, then trips ‘Burger and threatens to crotch him on the post, but Cheeseburger pulls his feet up and sends Cody to the post instead! Cheeseburger with a high cross to the floor! Cody rolls back in to escape this tremendous beating, then catches ‘Burger with a kick as he comes in after Rhodes, following that by flatlining Cheeseburger back into the ring. Pushups by Rhodes, and he follows that with a stomp to the ankle. Cody takes off his belt but ‘Burger with the surprise rollup for two! Kick from Cody, drop-down punch is blocked by ‘Burger with a crucifix for two! Blind charge from Cody eats the boot of Cheeseburger, and ‘Burger follows up with a tornado necksnap on Cody. ‘Burger goes up, but Cody punches him and hits a very nice delayed superplex. Kick from Cody, stomp from Cody, cross-corner whip from Cody. He charges, but ‘Burger sidesteps and Cody runs into the buckles. ‘Burger with a springboard flying knee that we’ll generously say grazed Cody. 1, 2, no. Cheeseburger loads up the Shotei, off the ropes, Cody catches him, CrossRhodes! 1, 2, Cody pulls him up! Cody takes off the boot, but the ref takes it away; meanwhile, ‘Burger has crawled to the corner and he has Cody’s belt. He whips Cody in the back, small package from ‘Burger! 1, 2, no! Cody tosses his suit jacket in the direction of Cheeseburger, then hooks the American Deathlock for the submission. Horrible. (Cody Rhodes over Cheeseburger, submission, 5:44)
WORTH WATCHING? – Well, that was about 5 minutes too long. NO, skip this nonsense. Look, I get what we’re going for here, but the fucking WORLD CHAMPION, especially in Ring of Honor, shouldn’t be doing this crap. I didn’t like it when Lethal gave a shot to Cheeseburger in Dallas at Supercard of Honor, and I sure as SHIT didn’t like it here. Cody treated ‘Burger like a joke, the announcers treated him like a joke, and the match was a joke. And see, here’s the problem; they did do basically this EXACT same thing with Lethal and Cheeseburger, so don’t tell me that they’re going to use it to elevate Cheeseburger or something. He’s always been a joke in ROH and nothing has changed, which is one of the biggest reasons I don’t like him. He’s never grown or changed in a significant way, and any ‘upset’ victories he’s ever managed have been flushed away as soon as possible.
To throw Cody something here, he came off as a supreme dick and that’ll go a long way to help him as champ. He does carry himself like a big star and act like a big deal. He’s clearly got that part down. His ringwork is what it is, but Okada got him to **** (although Okada could probably get a ham sandwich to at least ***1/2) and he’s good enough as a package deal to probably make this whole thing work for awhile.
Post-match, Cody celebrates and gets the ring back from Shane as Cabana speculates that Cody’s run here in ROH may be in jeopardy if Cheeseburger can give him that much trouble. Oh, please. Outside of a few rollups, Cody wasn’t in any real danger that entire match.
Let’s hear from the Kingdom! We’ll start with Vinny Marseglia! Oy, ROH is trying my patience this week. “It’s pure garbage! It’s disgusting that we had to have a number one contender’s match for the 6-man titles to begin with!” TK O’Ryan agrees, saying that it’s a complete joke that they weren’t given the 6-man titles the moment he got back from injury! Matt Taven says that there’s a conspiracy afoot, reckless redneck Melvins hitting people in the head with chairs, and congrats to the Machine Guns, they won the tag titles, but Search and Destroy have never held the 6-man titles, so get ready to see why they’re the Kings of Ring of Honor! I need a stiff drink – perhaps there’ll be some suggestions during the following great ads!
We’re back with Caprice Coleman, who welcomes us to Coleman’s Pulpit! JESUS CHRIST, I WATCH THIS DAMN SHOW FOR WRESTLING, NOT THIS SHIT. 40 fucking minutes with less than 10 of them spent in the ring so far this week. Anyway, Coleman tells us that he wants to introduce a new tag team to the best tag team division in wrestling, Rhett Titus and Will Ferrara. The Big Dogs, they’re called. Rhett calls himself the Big Dog and Will “Little Willie”. Caprice welcomes them and they trade insults about Titus and Will not wearing shirts with their suit jackets, then Will insults Cheeseburger for awhile, then Titus talks about Kenny King being a bad tag partner and this whole thing sucks balls. They challenge the Tempura Boyz next week on ROH TV as this mercifully comes to an end.
Main event time! We hear the music of the Kingdom (still cool), and here comes the former ROH 6-Man tag champs! Apparently, the KUSHIDA/Lethal vs the Addiction match will be next week or something. Maybe I misheard the announcers. Whatever the case may be, up next it’s the music of the Motor City Machine Guns! The Ring of Honor World Tag Team champs are out with Jonathan Gresham for our main event as we take a look back to the Guns winning the tag titles from the Bucks at the PPV.
Salvage something from this show, guys. Speaking of saving, I wonder if there are any savings available in the following great ads!
Search and Destroy (The Motor City Machine Guns & Jonathan Gresham) vs The Kingdom (Vinny Marseglia, TK O’Ryan, & Matt Taven)
Taven attacks Sabin from behind and we’re off to the races. Stomps from Matt and he mocks the Guns’ hand signal. Wristlock by Taven, but Sabin counters into one of his own and a nifty armdrag. Sabin off the ropes, but Vinny hits a kick to the back as he does, the Kingdom comes in for a 3 on 1 beatdown, Gresham and Shelley are in and we’ve got ourselves a donnybrook. Kingdom dominates, but they simultaneously charge against the ropes and get tossed to the outside by Search and Destroy, then the Guns jump over the top to the apron and hit Taven with a double kick to the head, Shelley off the apron with a knee to Vinny as Sabin cannonballs onto TK on the other side, which leaves Taven wide open for Gresham to hit a tope. Taven gets tossed back in, the Guns with a double armwringer to hold him in place as Gresham takes him over with a standing ‘rana, Gresham rolls through and stomps the knee, holding him in place for the Guns to hit simultaneous kicks to the head. That gets two for Sabin. Taven goes to the eyes and tosses Chris to the heel corner, blind charge from Matt hits the boot of Sabin as Chris fights out, second try and there’s a spinning back kick to Taven from Sabin. Sabin goes for a tornado DDT on Matt, blind tag from Vinny, DDT is blocked and Taven goes for a spinkick, Sabin ducks and runs toward the ropes, getting snapped on the middle rope by Marseglia in a blatantly choreographed spot that looked silly. Like, why would Chris duck there, then stop running and get snapped? Made no sense at all. Anyway, Taven hits a spinkick on Chris as Sabin is YOUR former-TNA-World-Champion-in-peril. Vinny back in with mounted punches, then he looks at the camera all weird because he’s CRAZY, you know. Vinny bites Sabin on the forehead, spits at the crowd, then pulls Chris up by his beard. European uppercut by Vinny sends Sabin to the Kingdom corner, where Vinny stomps away and tags in Taven. Stomps by Taven, tag to TK as the announcers tell us that next week, we’ll get KUSHIDA/Lethal vs the Addiction and Marty Scurll vs Jay White. Good, something to wash the taste of this week out of my mouth. TK stomps on Sabin more as Taven takes out Gresham and Shelley on the apron. Suplex by O’Ryan gets two. Tag to Vinny, they tie Sabin up in the ropes, double headbutt, then a double chop. Marseglia with a headlock, Sabin shoots him off as TK blindtags himself in, Vinny puts on the brakes and sends Sabin into a spinebuster from TK. TK takes out Gresham and Alex again as Vinny hits a flying headbutt, then Taven runs through Sabin with a knee. TK goes for the cover, 1, 2, Shelley saves it! Let’s save whatever I’ve got left this week for the last segment, which we’ll see after these great ads!
We’re back as the Kingdom is setting up for Rockstar Supernova on Sabin, he fights out with a ‘rana on Taven, but immediately takes a beating from Vinny and TK. They send Sabin to the corner, charge from TK eats the boot of Sabin, charge from Vinny yields the same result, charge from Taven and Sabin puts a bit of variety into it with a spinning back kick on Matt. Sabin grabs Taven and hits a tornado DDT using Vinny and TK as his turnbuckles, and now Sabin needs a tag! He dives for the corner, tag to Gresham! He comes in and hits a big boot to knock Vinny to the floor, then avoids a splash in the corner from TK, chops from Jonathan, cross-corner whip is reversed by O’Ryan, blind charge from TK eats a boot from Gresham. Vinny tries, he also tastes that boot. Gresham off the ropes, dropkick takes out both guys! Gresham goes for a German suplex on TK, but Taven makes the save, double Irish whip attempt on Gresham, Gresham reverses it on TK and nails Taven as TK catches himself on the top rope. TK goes for a spear, but Gresham leapfrogs over him and TK spears Taven! Belly-to-back attempt by TK on Gresham, but Jonathan goes over the top and splashes Taven as a result! Gresham off the ropes, Lionsault hits TK and Gresham smoothly rolls through into an anklelock as the Guns are back and they dive onto Taven and Vinny on the outside! That was great. Gresham is so good in the ring. TK hangs on long enough for Taven to sneak back in with a springboard enzuigiri to break the hold, and now it’s Gresham/Taven. Taven tries a whip, but Gresham breaks that with a step-up enzuigiri, tag to Sabin. Sabin and Taven trade go-behinds, and Matt ends up sending Chris into Gresham on the apron to send Jonathan to the floor, then it’s Matt with a kick to the gut of Sabin and one for Shelley as he comes into the ring. Taven off the ropes, but Alex is ready, inverted atomic drop from Shelley, Sabin dropkick to the knee, Shelley with the bridging chinlock to hold Taven in place for a dropkick to the face from Sabin. Sabin dives onto TK on the floor, but Marseglia springs off the second rope right after to take out both Guns. This match is a damned mess. The Guns and the Kingdom fight on the floor as Taven comes off the ropes with a huge dive, but he ends up taking out Vinny and TK! Gresham comes off the second rope with a moonsault as well. Taven tossed back in, missile dropkick from Sabin! Double kick in the corner from the Guns! They go for Skull and Bones, but TK distracts the ref with his bat as Vinny takes out Shelley, and now Taven has his cane, he hits Sabin in the back with it and rolls him up with the tights for the pin. (The Kingdom over Search and Destroy, pinfall, 9:27)
WORTH WATCHING? – And ROH finishes laying a complete egg this week. This match was disjointed without much to recommend it. Therefore, we’re going with a NO on this one as well, thus completing what is easily the worst episode of ROH TV I’ve seen in quite some time. The match was okay for what it was, but perhaps it’s just the mood I’m in; I didn’t enjoy it, wasn’t invested in it, and thought the finish blew chunks.
Post-match, the Kingdom celebrates as we’re done for the week with ROH TV.
FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: What a piece of shit this show was. Outside of some okay angle advancement here and there, there was nothing to recommend here in the ring and very little to recommend out of it. We had a DQ finish, we had a squash that went too long, and we had a mediocre 6-man tag that ended with the most boring finish in the history of man. Big, BIG thumbs down for this show.
I’ll be back this weekend to finish catching up with this past week’s show. No possible way it can be worse than this. Also, I’ll have pics from Global Wars: Chicago to share, along with a brief report!
As always, thanks for reading this thing I wrote,
@MrSoze on Twitter