Let’s start by covering that Survivor Series match that ECW on Sci-Fi spent all of one match hyping.
CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz (ECW Title)
The crew are back to opening the show which is an improvement over the Diva Death Spot. The Miz and John Morrison have won the WWE Tag Team Titles since the last episode of ECW which seems a bit abrupt considering they’ve been feuding with each other and the previous holders of those titles were also feuding with each another. After a quick Google, turns out they beat MVP & Matt Hardy on Smackdown, MVP demanded a immediate rematch and they lost that one too, then MVP turned on Matt for real-real (not for play-play). So there you go. Morrison and Miz work over Punk until Punk gets a big ol’ kick to Miz. Morrison sends Punk into the turnbuckles but he counters, tries for a crossbody, Morrison ducks and Miz takes it. Punk kicks them both outside and follows with a suicide dive. That was all very smooth and the crowd chants for CM PUNK to show they’re not bored (which makes a nice change.) Morrison and Miz double-team Punk for a while until Miz pushes Morrison off a springboard attempt. Sound strategy but Miz’s follow-up is a Camel Clutch which is less smart. Morrison re-enters the ring and kicks Miz out so he can lock in a Japanese Sleeper. Punk gets dragged outside and dumped like a bag of shit.
Miz gets a near-fall from a Stroke (the Jeff Jarrett move, not the Bret Hart move) but Morrison lands a Corkscrew Moonsault and Punk has to run in to break up the pin-fall. Then this beauty starts:
This is like Low Ki vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Christoper Daniels from ROH #1 compared to the last few weeks of ECW. Everyone starts dispensing moves but no-one’s left the ring so every pin-fall is broken up or kicked out of. Punk tries for a GTS, Morrison grabs the ropes and ends up on the apron, Miz blasts him off and Punk finishes with the GTS on Miz.
Winner and still ECW Champion: CM Punk (Well that was a lot of fun. Everyone here was feeling it, the match had many smooth sequences, Punk was over, Miz was booed and Morrison had abs.)
We’re in Tampa, FL right after a ”scintillating” Survivor Series (thanks Joey) and there’s a table of food next to the entrance ramp. Oh in other ECW Survivor Series news, Kelly Kelly was part of the winning ten-diva match and Big Daddy V was eliminated by HHH and Jeff Hardy.
CM Punk vs. Kenny Dykstra
”OK Morrison and Miz get a tag title shot but you have to take Kenny for one show.” I saw Kenny at wXw last weekend and he looked fitter than a butcher’s dog. Absolutely no reaction for him here because he was more generic than Gregory Helms at this point. Punk plants a Double Underhook Backbreaker and looks to finish but Kenny clotheslines Punk and works over him with a chinlock as the crowd kind-of start a CM PUNK chant and then give up. I’ll credit Punk giving all his opponents a time to work over him but sometimes you wonder why when the opponent is Kenny. Especially when the guy knows less moves than a Pokemon as he goes back to a chinlock. Punk tries to escape so it gets converted into a HEADLOCK. Kenny gets dumped off the second rope, crossbody gets two. Long finishing sequence of calf kick, springboard clothesline, running knee oh wait Kenny blocks the bulldog by throwing Punk into the post. Kenny goes up top but Punk dropkicks his ankle and finishes with the GTS.
Winner: CM Punk (Punk’s formula of ”look good then let opponent beat me up so crowd chants for me” was fine until they started putting him against losers. Kenny sold the GTS like a motherfucker though.)
Elijah Burke isn’t happy with his current placing in ECW so he’s bringing one of his good friends to the brand…Shelton Benjamin! Who looks as happy to be on the C-Brand as Buff Bagwell was when he was losing.
Shelton Benjamin vs. Tommy Dreamer
Commentators list all of Benjamin’s accomplishments and how athletic he is while Benjamin wears down Dreamer with basic holds. Yeah those three IC Title reigns helped him so much he’s been demoted. Dreamer moves out of the way of a charge and gets a bulldog. Dreamer tries to get aerial but Shelton pulls him off and finishes with the Paydirt.
Winner: Shelton Benjamin (This match was absolutely nothing. The description above summed up five whole minutes and crowd didn’t care about any of it. Being introduced as Burke’s friend was like an albatross around Shelton’s neck.)
Deuce & Domino vs. Jesse & Festus
The tag champs are on commentary again. Morrison gives Tazz one of his shirts. ”Sorry Joey, I was going to get you one but they only do adult sizes.” Miz and Morrison are getting along fine as a team now, which is an abrupt change after a week but they’re more entertaining this way so I’ll allow it. D and D were the previous tag champs before Matt Hardy & MVP and Domino moves out the way of a Jesse back senton to get the advantage. The commentary is more interesting that the match:
Morrison: ”We’re inexperienced? I was inexperienced when I made out with (some chick’s name) in the back of a van when I was fifteen but guess what? She still says I’m the best she’s ever had.”
Tazz: ”Joey can’t relate to that.”
Miz pervs over Cherry as the crowd chant for Festus. Domino misses an Axe Handle and Festus is a retarded house on fire. Rocket Launcher assisted crossbody wins it.
Winners: Jesse & Festus (Morrison wonders what would happen if they brought a bell with them and rang it mid-match. Jesse and Festus were over but this was a nothing match thanks to D & D’s thrilling offence. I haven’t seen much D & D but nothing they did made me go ”oh that wasn’t bad.”)
Kevin Thorn vs. Nunzio
Kevin has a generic new-look as WWE gets ready to release him. Sadly they were out of baby blue that day. Am I fuck watching another Thorn squash, if the company has given up on him then I’m throwing the towel in too. Thorn wins with Original Sin which Nunzio bumps like it’s a stunner rather than a draping neckbreaker because Nunzio isn’t going to invest in property that’s about to be demolished.
Kelly Kelly and Layla brawl backstage so Layla challenges her to a match next week. Kelly sneaks up and they have a food fight because that’s what the Native Americans did before Columbus showed up. The crowd weren’t raving over this which was weird, you’d expect them to be all over over titties and turkey.
RAW RECAP: Orton’s beaten everybody so the torch is ready to be passed (complete with Olympic torch runner) but HERE’S CHRIS JERICHO with the saveus.222 cryptic messages. Sadly Jericho showed up looking like he was presenting Dancing With The Stars and it wasn’t until he turned evil a few months later that he became interesting.
Kane vs. Big Daddy V & Matt Striker
This is revenge for Kane giving Striker a chokeslam last week. Both men are allowed in at the same time so Kane wastes no time smacking Striker around as JBL watches from a monitor backstage laughing with his dick out. Big Daddy V belly-to-girth suplexes Kane and gives him the thuggery and buggery mount as Striker mouths off at him. A guy like WALTER should take that move back to legitimacy. V avalanches Kane in the corner and lets Striker beat on Kane while he’s down. Kane gets powered up whenever Striker attacks him so V has to go back on offence immediately. Kane clotheslines both men and takes down V with the Fall Off The Top Rope Land On My Feet Then Deliver A Clothesline for two. Kane side-slams V and as Kane pins Striker, he goes ”help me V!!!” Kane kicks V then gives Striker a chokeslam for the win.
Winner: Kane (Striker was at his best here, being a little chicken-shit and only attacking Kane when he was down. The Smackdown talent exchange has definitely fucked with V’s momentum now that Kane’s a regular. Before this, he was demolishing jobbers and never losing but that No Mercy PPV match with Punk killed his momentum.)
V doesn’t take the loss well and gives Kane a Samoan Drop after the bell. At least he still believes in himself.
Overall: The Survivor Series match is a fun sprint to open the PPV, you can actually see Miz’s improvement month-to-month. The ECW on Sci-Fi episode was full of things happening but God it was miserable. Shelton’s bad debut, Kenny wrestling the champ, crowd not caring about a female food fight and Thorn with spooky spikey hair. But Miz & Morrison are a real team now so there’s something.
I’ve been Maffew and I have a site that I insist you click on and scroll and find something to click something else to click on.