The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–11.15.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – November 15 1993

– Taped from Bushkill, PA.

– Your hosts are Vince & Bobby, as Randy Savage is suspended for his attack on Crush last week.

Razor Ramon v. The Brooklyn Brawler

Brawler and Ramon get two different style of graphics for some bizarre reason. Brawler actually attacks with the IC belt, but Ramon bulldogs him out of the corner and slugs him down. Fallaway slam and Ramon hooks the abdominal stretch, but Brawler goes to the eyes and elbows him down. Brawler with a snapmare for two. Sadly, he puts his head down and the Razor’s Edge ends his night at 2:49.

The Headshrinkers v. Mike Bucci & Mike Maraldo

Fatu slugs it out with Maraldo (who Vince refers to as “Bucci”, although to be fair I can only tell them apart because Bucci became a star later) and the jobbers dogpile on Fatu for two. Bucci gets faceplanted by the Shrinkers, however, and Samu puts him down with a headbutt. Fatu comes in for more headbutting, but picks up Bucci at two. Double legsweep and flying splash end this boring squash at 4:15. Gotta suck to be a jobber as it is, but to get your one shot on TV and have Vince call you the wrong name for the whole match is probably worse.

Meanwhile, on WWF Superstars, Lex Luger and the Steiners introduce Tatanka’s replacement: The Undertaker. The image of him revealing the American flag under his coat is pretty cool.

Lex Luger v. Pierre

Luger tosses him around the ring, but Pierre fires away in the corner before missing a blind charge. Luger puts him down with a clothesline for two, and Pierre bails. You know, this was supposed to be a fan-voted match, but it’s from the second hour of a taping cycle, so really they would have had to tape the match before they actually knew who “won”. So extrapolating from that, wrestling is obviously fixed. This changes everything. We take a break and return with Luger working on the arm, but Pierre clotheslines him down again. Luger fights back, which allows Vince to use the phrase “roughhouse style” without a HINT of irony. Luger gets distracted by Polo and Pierre dumps him, giving us a hilarious celebration by Polo. You take what you can get. Back in, Pierre gets two. Pump splash gets two. Pierre goes to a rear chinlock and we take ANOTHER break. Ugh. Back with the chinlock still ongoing. Piledriver gets two. Pierre goes up and just totally botches a flying legdrop, nearly killing himself on the landing. I think someone missed a signal there. That gets two. Pierre stupidly goes up again and misses this time, which I think was the original plan. Pierre stalls and tries to ram Luger into the corner, but that backfires on him and Luger makes the ALL AMERICAN comeback and wins a slugfest. Backdrop and clotheslines set up a powerslam for two. They head up and Luger slams Pierre off the top and finishes with the STAINLESS STEEL FOREARM OF DEATH at 13:24. Just way too long for Pierre at that stage of his career. ** Pierre is out cold and out of Survivor Series as a result.

Diesel v. Sid Garrison

Sid works the arm, but Diesel pounds him down and goes to the chinlock. Running choke and big boot and the big elbow finishes at 3:24. Diesel was going nowhere at that point, as Mr. Perfect was gone and he basically had nothing to do until Shawn Michaels got back.

Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett has a terrible recording session experience (featuring a cameo by Jacqueline while she was still Miss Texas in Memphis) but he’s still going to get to the top of the WWF.

Bonus match: IRS v. Bret Hart

From Superstars, as this is the end of the bonus matches. And holy shitburgers, it’s Vince and Rio Rogers on commentary! Rio was Bruce “Brother Love” Pritchard, doing a deliberately horrible impression of Dusty Rhodes. That one never caught on, shockingly. It’s even more mystifying because Dusty was long out of power in WCW at that point, so it’s not like Vince was taking shots at the opposition or anything. IRS steals the shades, but Bret pounds away in the corner and drops an elbow, but IRS bails and regroups. Back in, Bret starts with the headlock, but IRS rolls him over for two. He finally escapes with a backdrop suplex, but Bret takes him right back down again. IRS escapes with a kneecrusher as Mr. Fuji joins us to set up a Bret-Yoko match on the “Survivor Series Showdown”. That show isn’t available on, unfortunately. We take a break and return with IRS getting a suplex for two. And it’s time for the abdominal stretch, of course, and IRS gets two. Bret snaps off a sunset flip for two, but IRS beats him down again and gets a chinlock. Bret fights out, but Fuji trips him and IRS sends him into the corner. Bret slides out, however, and puts Fuji down in a slick move, then heads back in, but now Yokozuna heads down. Bret with the legsweep for two. Small package gets two. Backbreaker and elbow get two. Fuji interferes a bit too blatantly, however, and Bret wins by DQ at 9:20. Owen Hart saves Bret from any further damage, so it looks like everything is good between them. **1/4

Next week: RAW skips a week for Survivor Series, so I’ll probably do that re-rant, and then RAW returns live on November 29 1993.