The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–11.01.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – November 1 1993

– Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY. Is this taping cycle over yet? I already miss them going live every other week.

– Your hosts are Vince & Bobby

Razor Ramon v. Bastion Booger

Booger actually has theme music here, which is weird. Shoving match to start and Razor grants the clean break, and we take a break already. Back with Booger getting a Big Fat Splash for two, but Razor immediately no-sells and clotheslines him out of the ring. Back in, Booger gets tied in the ropes (which I’m surprised didn’t prompt a joke from Bobby about having to pick him out of the ropes), but Razor brings him outside and gets sent into the post as a result. Back in, Booger with a bearhug and he pounds on the back, followed by a powerslam for two. And it’s back to the bearhug, but Razor makes the comeback and sets up for the Razor’s Edge. Booger backdrops out and hits the buttdrop, but Ramon cradles for the pin at 7:15. Pretty dull stuff. *1/2

The Foreign Fanatics join us for some smack talk about Survivor Series. See, they’re facing the All-Americans. As if you couldn’t guess. Yokozuna/Borga/Quebecers v. Luger/Tatanka/Steiners would have seemed to be a perfectly good main event, but they STILL had to tinker with it further for some reason.

Mr. Perfect v. The Executioner

Perfect probably could have been a perfect executioner, too, given a pre-taped vignette and a million takes. Just saying. Executioner whips him into the corner, but misses a blind charge and Perfect wraps him up with a leglock on the mat. He pounds on the leg as it occurs to me that Perfect never made it to Survivor Series, so this would be his last appearance until Wrestlemania X. So I hope you enjoyed having him around. Necksnap and now, for the last time in a long time, you’re gonna see a Perfectplex at 4:50. That lasted FOREVER.

Well Dunn v. The Smoking Gunns

Well pounds on Billy to start, but loses a slugfest and retreats to the corner. Over to Steven Dunn, who loses a mat battle with Billy Gunn and thus fails at life. Actually, he’s dead now, so that’s a bit insensitive to say. The Gunns double-team Dunn with the dreaded “OHWHATTAMANEUVER” for two and Bart gets a dropkick, but a cheapshot turns the tide. Oh boy, I just thinking “I hope they don’t short-change the Well Dunn match”. Well with a chinlock, and a double-team elbow gets two. They switch off with chinlocks on Bart as Bobby finally makes the “Isn’t it ironic that we’re watching Well Dunn on RAW” joke and Vince totally no-sells it. After FOUR chinlocks Bart finally escapes and hits Dunn with a backdrop suplex, but Dunn chokes him down. Seriously, Rex King and Steven Doll were pretty damn good in Portland before they got signed by the WWF. Hot (?) tag to Billy and he clotheslines Dunn, but Harvey trips him up for the DQ at 7:26. WTF? They can’t even book a clean finish for THIS shitty match? *

Adam Bomb v. Virgil

Poor Virgil doesn’t even get an entrance. Criss-cross to start and Virgil gets the world’s worst bodypress for two before going to an armbar. Bomb is so flustered that he has to leave. They brawl outside and Virgil chases Harvey, then hits Bomb with a shitty pescado. At least he’s trying, I guess. Back in, Bomb pounds him down as Vince actually gets a funny line about a Bobby Heenan stamp and “imagine what would happen if you licked it.” Bomb with a standing dropkick and he hiptosses Virgil out of the corner and clotheslines him, but Virgil goes up with a missile dropkick for two. Dammit, Virgil, you’re in week three of a taping cycle, stop giving a s---. Another try at the dropkick and Bomb won’t sell, catch or even move, and then the Atom Smasher finishes at 5:22. Virgil was trying but this was a disaster. An atomic disaster if you will. 1/2*

Next week: Crush! Ludvig Borga v. Scott Steiner! I’m hoping for a live show, but it’s the week before Survivor Series so I doubt it.