The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic – S01E03

The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic – S01E03

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are JR & Lita.  So we’re into the third episode now and I’m desperately wanting a third person in the booth with actual insight, like Nigel or Mauro, instead of bored JR and Lita reading facts off cue cards.

Ayesha Raymond v. Toni Storm

Storm has a tiny hat on her head, perhaps as a tribute to Adebisi from Oz?  Raymond has her face painted like a cat because cats are about strength and intimidation or whatever.  Obviously she has not met my cat before.  Perhaps she’ll passive-aggressively meow at her opponent if they don’t feed her on schedule.  They slug it out and Storm uses the power of her ass to take over, but runs into a boot in the corner and gets slammed for two.  Storm takes her out of the corner with a backstabber and follows with a northern lights suplex, but Raymond slams her out of the corner in a blown spot and has to stall for time while she remembers her cue, and then misses a flying splash so that Storm can roll her up for the pin at 4:30.  OK match, but that finish was all kinds of messed up.  *1/2

Kavita Devi v. Dakota Kai

Devi overpowers Kai to start and does a decent ropewalk wristlock, but then she does it again for no reason and slugs away on Kai.  Kai comes back with a sunset flip, but misses a dropkick while Devi mostly does the Great Khali method of standing there and swatting aside her opponent.  She gets a gorilla slam and then stalls some more before throwing Kai around, as this is clearly Kai wrestling herself.  Finally Kai hits a mafia kick in the corner and follows with a double stomp for the pin at 3:47.  Devi was just a mannequin for Kai to bounce off of here.  ½*

Bianca Belair v. Sage Beckett

Sage wants to clarify that she’s not a witch, she’s a shaman.

Sage overpowers Belair and drops an elbow for two, but Belair gets a dropkick for two.  She trips Beckett and gets a big splash for two, then goes to a surfboard, but Beckett fights out with a Bubba Bomb for two.  Leg lariat gets two and she hangs Belair in the tree of woe for a running ass attack and then misses a pump splash, allowing tiny Belair to finish with a spear at 5:33. I feel like the physics of that are a tad suspect, but neither of these girls were going anywhere in this anyway.  *

Piper Niven v. Santana Garrett

Holy cow, Santana looks like she should be on the main roster challenging for the title tomorrow.  I can’t see Piper making it out of developmental with that look, but then Bertha Faye ended up as Women’s champion, so who knows?  Garrett works the arm, but gets reversed into a samoan drop, which she escapes.  Niven with a bodypress for two and she works a cravat, but misses a charge and gets booted in the corner.  Garrett with a tornado DDT for two and she follows with Eat Defeat and a handspring elbow, but Niven splashes her for two.  Piper goes up and Santana blocks with a handstand rana for two.  Another handspring misses and Piper drops an elbow, and finishes with a Michinoku Driver at 7:09.  They JOBBED Santana Garrett?  She looked like a bigger star than everyone else in the entire women’s division as it stands!  Really good match to close out the show.  ***1/4

The Pulse

The booking for this continues to be weird as you’d think Garrett and Beckett would have went onwards, but both lost.  Garrett v. Niven was a hell of a match, though, and well worth seeking out.