The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground S01E06–“The Key”

The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground S01E06

“The Key”

Your hosts are Vampiro & Matt Striker

Well, Lucha Underground is back again for the conclusion of season 3, so we’ll give this another try. Even if no one’s reading, it’s short and fun.

Dario Cueto signs Big Ryck to an exclusive contract and cash bonus, because he LOVES violence and Rick delivers.

Son of Havoc is out to complain about the lack of competition, since he’s been fighting women and midgets and all. If he wanted to be treated like this, he’d be living in Nashville!

Son of Havoc v. Pimpinela Escarlata

Pimpinela has been around for a LONG time and looks it. Havoc attacks, but Pimp hits him with a ropewalk bodypress and minces around the ring for a bit before Havoc takes over. Running forearms in the corner, but a blind charge misses and Pimpinela sends him out and follows with a senton off the apron. Pimpinela reminds me of what Johnny B. Badd would have been like had he never progressed past 1991 and just worked that same character until he was 60. Havoc throws him into the corner for two and backdrops him out of the ring. Back in, Havoc takes over again, but Mascarita Sagrada runs down for the interference and Pimpinela rolls him up for the pin at 4:50. Meh. *1/2

Mientras, Johnny Mundo is pissed off, and he steals a key from Dario “for insurance”.

Mil Muertes v. Famous B

Muertes quickly lays B out and beats on him on the ropes, then slams him out of the corner and spears him for good measure. Flatliner finishes at 1:08. DUD

Drago v. King Cuerno

This is a rematch from Cuerno’s debut, where Drago won, because that’s what happens in Lucha Underground. Drago evades him with his speed and hits a rana out of the corner, but Cuerno hits the Daniel Bryan running knee to take over. Dragon goes to the knee while a mysterious woman watches from the crowd, and Dragon tosses him and follows with a dive. Vamp just goes full on creepy old man, pointing out how hot the woman is. Cuerno bails to buy time and Drago hits him with a crazy corkscrew diveDrago with the wacky submission into a rollup, but it only gets two this time, and Cuerno tosses him for his own suicide dive. Back in, the fireman’s carry slam finishes at 4:30. Not bad. **1/2

Johnny Mundo brings out the key and wants to trade it for his $100,000, which brings out Big Ryck, and he quickly gets a beating. Next out, Konnan, who declares that Prince Puma will no longer be helping Mundo. And then they team up and beat up Big Ryck anyway. But then greed gets the best of them and they turn on each other before the Lucha Underground security force breaks them up. So Dario decides to settle things with VIOLENCE, declaring that next week the $100,000 will be hung above the ring in a three-way ladder match. Dario’s evil cackle while picturing the violence is fantastic.

Chavo Guerrero & Pentagon Jr. v. Fenix & Sexy Star

The babyfaces clear the ring to start and Chavo goes to a chinlock on Fenix, then quickly cuts off a comeback by Sexy Star. The heels work her over in the corner, and then work Fenix over as well once he tags in. Pentagon with a nice powerbomb for two and Chavo gets a dropkick for two. Sexy Star gets the hot tag and Fenix jumps in from the top rope, double-stomping Chavo’s back, but Pentagon suplexes him into the corner. Sexy comes back with a dive onto Pentagon outside, and Fenix adds his own spinning dive. Back in, Sexy tries a crossbody on Chavo, and he catches her and slams her. Fenix makes the save, hits Pentagon with a flying double knee, and Star pins him at 9:15. I have zero interest in the Chavo v. Sexy Star feud or in seeing her get revenge on anyone, but Fenix and Pentagon are just awesome. ***

The Pulse

Another table-setting episode with a whole lot of nothing, but some nice dives at least. It’s a tad frustrating because I know where it’s going, especially with guys like Pentagon, and I just want to yell “GET TO THE FIREWORKS FACTORY ALREADY!”, but some patience is required here.