The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–03.22.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – March 22 1993

– Live from New York again.

– Your hosts are Vince, Randy and Rob.

The Bushwhackers v. Damian Demento & Repo Man

Demento might have actually worked as a replacement member of Demolition. Damian hammers on Butch in the corner to start and it’s quickly a pier-six with the heels getting run together. The Whackers clear the ring, but Luke gets jumped on the way back in, as Repo manages to crack the awesome intellectual prowess of the Bushwhackers. Damian chokes away in the corner while Vince and Randy have a funny exchange about the “March To Wrestlemania” pre-game show. Vince is looking for Randy’s advice about facing Yokozuna and he notes “You’ve had some success” and Savage gives a sarcasm-dripping “Why thank you” in response. You don’t often hear that side of Savage and it’s kind of neat. Anyway, hot tag Butch and they double-team Demento, but Repo Man trips him up as this gets all kinds of awful. Damian tries to slam Butch, but Luke pushes them over. Repo tries to break it up, but hits Demento by mistake, and the Battering Ram finishes Repo at 5:15. This one managed to even kill the Manhattan Center crowd, so you know it sucked. DUD

Tatanka v. Reno Riggins

Classic jobber! Reno attacks but gets chopped and backdropped. He recovers with a sleeper, but Tatanka gets an atomic drop and chops him down again, into an armdrag. Reno throws his own chops in the corner, and that doesn’t end up well for him. Tatanka whiffs on a crossbody attempt, however, and Reno takes over again and hammers away on the mat. Tatanka is the PISSED OFF RACIAL STEREOTYPE and he chops Riggins down, powerslams him, and finishes with the Papoose to Go at 3:28. And even Vince calls it that!

Meanwhile, officials of the World Wrestling Federation have apparently announced a Hall of Fame of some sort, and of course the first inductee is Andre the Giant.

Money Inc. v. Scott Rich & Jeff Armstrong

Dibiase pounds on Rich and dumps him with a clothesline, and we get a shot of Bartlett flipping through the channels on the monitor, looking for “the competition”. “There is no competition!” declares Vince McMahon, so file that one under “more things Vince said that came back to bite him in the ass.” Money Inc works over Armstrong and Dibiase powerslams him, then IRS hits him with the Write-Off clothesline to finish at 3:00.

Wrestlemania IX Report! Bret Hart v. Yokozuna, Hogan & Beefcake v. Money Inc., Giant Gonzalez v. Undertaker…it all means the greatest Wrestlemania ever! Plus TOGAS! Man, they really did a shitty job of delivering the hype for this one, as Bret and Yoko had no interaction, Hulk did nothing, and we didn’t even know most of the card until the show.

Kamala v. Doink the Clown

Doink suckers him in with a present and then takes Kamala down with an armbar, turning into a top wristlock. Kamala fights out, so Doink takes him down again and goes to the arm again. Kamala chops out of it and follows with an avalanche, and we take a break. Back with Doink in control again, but Kamala chops him out of the ring. So Doink grabs the present and gives it to Kamala, which calms him down and gives Doink the countout at 3:40. LAAAAAAAAAME. 1/2* Vince mentions that Kamala was facing Bam Bam at Wrestlemania. What happened there?

Next week: It’s Wrestlemania! Not that you’d really know or care based on the terrible buildup here.