SMOKY MOUNTAIN WRESTLING TV – April 11th, 1992
– Last week on SMW TV… “Primetime” Brian Lee pinned Dutch Mantel to keep his spot in the Volunteer Slam Championship Tournament, despite a pre-match attack by the Dirty White Boy… For Heaven’s sake, Jim Cornette once again failed to deliver footage of his team, and yes, I ripped the joke off from the comments section, so thank you Danny Omega. Armstrong ruled his team must appear this coming week, or their removed from the tournament… Dixie Dy-no-Mite debuted and might have the most annoying wrestling name to type on a regular basis… Tim Horner, the Dirty White Boy, and Killer Kyle were all victorious in showcase matches (my fancy word for “enhancement” opponents).
– Taped on April 9th, 1992, from the Hancock County High School in “East Tennessee” (that would be “Sneedville, TN, wherever that is. Possibly Eastern Tennessee). Bob Caudle and “Dirty” Dutch Mantel, once again joined by Carl Stiles, are calling the action, unless otherwise noted. We’ve got two 1st Round Tag Team Tournament matches, “Hollywood” Bob Holly in action, an update on Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff, and finally, FINALLY, Jim Cornette’s new team is going to appear. We promise, it will happen within the next 60 minutes. Dutch still won’t answer about Carl Stiles’ absence.
– “Hollywood” Bob Holly vs. Ben Jordan:
Another showcase for Holly, who is making his last appearances at this TV taping (insert sad-face emoji). Lockup, Holly with a standing side headlock and shoulder tackle. Jordan comes back with a hip toss and scoop slam, then takes Holly over into an arm-bar. Mantel says Holly is a slow starter, like a batter in baseball taking a few pitches before getting ready. Holly quickly regains control with a snap suplex and slams Jordan face-first to the turnbuckle pad. Holly with a slam and relaxed cover for two. Whip and elbow for another two count. Snap mare into a chin-lock. Holly misses a charge to the corner. Jordan sends him to the ropes and connects with a so-so dropkick. Whip, and Holly drops an elbow across the back of the head. Holly with a slam, and the Star Drop (flying knee) finishes at 3:18. Holly remains undefeated, and more one-sided than we’ve become used to in recent weeks.
– Bob Caudle is standing by with Ivan and Vladimir Koloff. They’ve paid their fines, so they’ll compete tonight in a 1st Round Tag Team Tournament Match. Ivan still insists they had a family emergency that kept them from competing several weeks ago. He also throws shade at the Fantastics, in the unlikely event the two teams meet in the Finals.
– Commissioner Bob Armstrong is standing by with an update on the Volunteer Slam. The show will take place in Knoxville, TN, but the date has been moved to Friday, May 22nd from the original date of May 15th. Not only will the Heavyweight Title be decided that not, but so will the Tag Team Championship. Armstrong continues to insist there’s going to be a talent trade with the “Japanese organization”, but I find that highly unlikely. He refutes Orndorff’s petition to remove the ban on the piledriver to close the segment out.
– “Nitro” Danny Davis & Jumpin’ Joey Maggs vs. Ivan & Vladimir Koloff:
1st Round Tag Team Tournament Match. Davis and MAGGS? I guess Dixie Dy-No-Mite was too busy. You got to love a referee in suspenders (I’m bad with faces, but this must be the debut of Mr. Brian Hildebrand, working under the name “Mark Curtis”). Maggs and Ivan start. Crisscross and Maggs misses a diving body press. He comes back with dropkicks and goes to work on the arm. Davis gets a U-S-A chant going and resumes working the left arm. Davis with a monkey flip into a cover, but Ivan counters with a sunset flip for two. Vladimir tags in and knocks Davis on his buttocks with a shoulder tackle. Davis tries it again, with the same result. Maggs with a blind tag for a double shoulder tackle. Vladimir catches a dive and counters with a sloppy back breaker. They botch a crisscross and Maggs spills to the floor. Back inside, another back breaker for two. Ivan with a snap mare, leg drop, and raking of the body. Vladimir drops an elbow for two. Maggs continues getting worked over in the corner. Maggs surprises Vladimir with an enzuigiri and makes the hot tag. Davis is ready to explode! He unloads with rights, but gets nailed by Ivan while running the ropes. Maggs and Ivan get in the ring, and here’s the Fantastics. They create a distraction on separate sides of the ring. Vladimir tries to utilize the Russian chain, but Bobby pulls Davis out of harm way, causing Vladimir to hit the chain, and Davis falls on top for three at 7:20. Davis and Maggs advance! DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!? *¾ Everything with Ivan looked good, everything with Vladimir stunk. This marks the last SMW appearance for the Koloff Family, unless Vladimir snuck back in as somebody else, and at least they wrote them off being outclassed by the Fantastics.
– Highlights from last week’s confrontation between Brian Lee and the Dirty White Boy, leading to the White Boy attacking Lee with a steel chair moments before his scheduled match with Dutch Mantel. Mr. Ron Wright is heart-broken about the fine, and he now has to take generic heart medicine that doesn’t keep his heart in check like the good stuff does. Bob Armstrong can make life hard for him, but he’s got the Dirty White Boy in training, and he’ll be ready for Knoxville on May 22nd.
– Bob Caudle is standing by with three of the Wild Card entrants for the Championship Tournament, Hector Guerrero, Dixie Dy-No-Mite, and Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff, the latter of the three looking quite upset. Dixie is happy to be here and to be an entrant in the tournament. Guerrero knows his country is happy for him, and it’s an honor to be a Wild Card. As for Orndorff, he’s butt-hurt about having to quality when he’s beaten everyone around the world, including names like Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. Caudle doesn’t dispute his record, but he hasn’t wrestled enough to earn a guaranteed spot (unlike the Dirty White Boy, who had 2 matches before the announcement). Orndorff says Caudle is as smart as the rednecks in the crowd, and shouldn’t have to prove himself.
– Wild Card Match: Hector Guerrero vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff:
The winner gets to advance into the Championship Tournament, and Orndorff has clearly turned heel based on the last segment. Before the match, Orndorff asks Guerrero if he knows what “Arriba” means: “swim a little faster, the border guards are coming.” Guerrero rolls around the ring to annoy Orndorff. Dutch gives Orndorff his seal of approval. Orndorff with a waist-lock takedown, but he can’t keep hold on Guerrero. Crisscross and Guerrero with the first-half of an O’Connor Roll for two. Dutch does confirm the referee’s identity, just in case my vision has completely dumped the bed. Lockup to the corner and Orndorff nails him with a series of rights. Whip to the ropes and Guerrero’s sunset flip is blocked. Orndorff with a snap mare and elbow drop. Dutch gives Orndorff 8:5 odds to walk away victorious. Guerrero gets tossed to the floor and rammed into the security barricade. Back inside, Orndorff with a suplex, followed by a dropkick. Guerrero hangs back to avoid a second dropkick and pounds away. Guerrero with a hip toss and dropkick. Whip is reversed, Guerrero with a school boy for two. He comes off the top with a flying body press, but Orndorff rolls through and hooks the tights for three at 5:24. Post-match, Orndorff sucker punches Guerrero and hits him with a Piledriver. THAT’S OUTLAWED! Ben Jordan runs in and gets a Piledriver. Reno Riggins? Piledriver for him, too. Joey Maggs is feeling lucky and gets the same medicine. Orndorff gives Guerrero a second piledriver, this time on a chair, and FINALLY, Dixie Dy-No-Mite makes the save. I guess he was dropping a confederate deuce after being buddy-buddy earlier. **1/2 Match was average, but the post-match boosts it a bit. Great way to give Orndorff heat, and at the expense of people that aren’t slated for significant angles.
– Brad & Bart Batten vs. Jim Cornette’s Team:
1st Round Tag Team Tournament Match, and the winners advance to face the thrown together duo of Joey Maggs and Danny Davis. The Batten Twins come out to “Double Vision” by Foreigner. Jim Cornette comes out, with “Time” by Pink Floyd playing. He talks about managing the greatest team in the world, but now he’s brought to Smoky Mountain wrestling, the greatest tag team in the universe, THE HEAVENLY BODIES: “Sweet” Stan Lane and Dr. Tom Prichard, using “Frankenstein” by the Edgar Winter Group for entrance music. Their robes and tights are covered in various astronomy images to tie in with the name.
Lane starts with Brad. Maybe. Lockup into the corner and a clean break. Brad grabs a side headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Crisscross, Brad with a hip toss. Lane kicks him off and plants him with a slam. Prichard works a similar sequence, ending with another slam. The Battens work a double-team crisscross sequence, taking over both Bodies with hip tosses and clearing the ring with dropkicks. Back inside, Lane with a drop toe hold, but the Batten slips out and grabs a hammer-lock. Prichard walks into a hip toss and the Battens continue to control the pace. They take turns coming off the top with double axe-handle blows across the arm. Lane with a handful of hair to change their fortune. Prichard with a suplex and Lane with a Super-Kick to the midsection. Whip and Lane with a hooking clothesline. Double elbow, snap mare, and choking from Lane and Prichard. Batten #2 takes Lane over with a sunset flip, but Prichard makes an illegal switch behind the referee’s back. Whip and Batten #2 comes back with a diving clothesline. Hot tag and Batten #1 is running wild. He picks up both with slams and follows with dropkicks. Whip is reversed and Batten with a diving body press for two. The referee becomes distracted by the other Batten, while Prichard back drops Batten #1 into a gut-wrench suplex from Lane (later named the Meteor Shower), and that gets the three-count at 6:15. *** Fast-paced, non-stop action, and a clean finish (or as clean as a double team finisher is). Good debut, and much needed star power for the division, with Lane having credentials as a member of the Midnight Express, and Prichard had successful runs in the Southeast territories.
– Post-match, Bob Caudle is standing by with comments from Jim Cornette and his Heavenly Bodies. They’ve beat every man worth beating, had every woman worth having, and know all the words to the long version of American Pie. Prichard says they aren’t here for the weather or the women that hang around the area, they’re here for money and the Tag Team Championship.
– We conclude the broadcast with a quick graphic promoting a Wild Card Match between Carl Stiles and Dixie Dy-No-Mite, as well as a match between “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff and Davey Rich. But what of the Semi-Finals of the Tag Team Championship Tournament?! You can’t leave me hanging like this!
Final Thoughts: Quite the week for Smoky Mountain Wrestling. We’ve concluded the 1st Round of the Tag Team Championship Tournament, with the thrown-together tandem of Joey Maggs and Danny Davis advancing, and they’ll meet Jim Cornette’s Heavenly Bodies, while the Fantastics meet The Maulers. Speaking of the Fantastics, they appear to have gotten the last laugh on the Koloffs, helping Maggs and Davis pick up a victory over the duo. Paul Orndorff officially turned heel, and put an exclamation point on it, piledriving half the enhancement locker room, and dropping Hector Guerrero on a chair. Does he get fined for the action, or for every piledriver? With the last piledriver being done on a chair, does that make the fine heavier? I’m thinking $3,000 for the entire act, but maybe Bob Armstrong will give him a slap on the wrist.