The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–01.18.93

(Once again, to follow up on the Observer Flashback from earlier this morning, here’s the corresponding episode of RAW!) 

The SmarK Legacy Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW – January 18 1993

– Live from New York

– Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett and Randy Savage (who is attacked by Repo Man in your first angle of the week, already)

Terrific Terry Taylor v. Mr Perfect

Man, I’d totally forgotten about Taylor’s failed comeback attempt in 1993. I should point out that the absence of Randy Savage leaves us with Vince McMahon and Rob Bartlett on commentary. ALONE. Luckily that only lasts about 15 seconds before Savage returns to save the broadcast from infamy. They trade cheapshots to start and Perfect sends Taylor out with a dropkick, and we get into a chase before Taylor begs off and runs away. Back in the ring, Perfect works on a headlock and takes Taylor down with an armbar, but they trade some kinda lame mat stuff before Perfect goes back to the armbar. We take a break and return with Perfect throwing chops in the corner until Taylor finally dumps him and takes over with a jawbreaker. Backbreaker gets two. Taylor hits the chinlock and follows with a spinebuster for two. Gut wrench powerbomb gets two. They slug it out and Perfect rings the ears to come back, followed by an atomic drop. Necksnap and Perfect slugs away, but Ric Flair heads down to ringside for the attack. Back in we get a cute finish, as Taylor tries a suplex, but Perfect easily reverses to the Perfectplex at 7:54 to finish. Decent little TV match, but these two just couldn’t get chemistry together. **1/2

– Vince brings out WWF champion Bret Hart for words about his upcoming title defense at the Royal Rumble against Razor Ramon. That ended up being a lot crappier of a match than you’d expect. Bret thinks that Razor is scum for even suggesting slapping Stu Hart. Strong words, Bret.

Marty Jannetty v. Glen Ruth

Ruth offers a handshake and then attack Marty from behind, but Marty bulldogs him out of the corner for his troubles. Marty works the arm for a while and adds a snap suplex…and it’s back to the arm again. Ruth makes a brief comeback, but Marty finishes with a Rocker Dropper at 5:08. Dull squash. 1/2* Stuff you can use at dinner parties: Ruth is better known as Headbanger Thrasher.

– Let us take you back to Superstars where “alleged” clown Doink attacks Crush with a fake arm and beats the mullet off him. The pain in Vince’s voice at having his childhood clown dreams shattered is wonderful.

Meanwhile, Repo Man cuts a promo from outside the arena while wearing Macho Man’s hat, and Savage is all “let’s do the thing right here, right now!” So Repo goes “So you want to wrestle?” and Savage replies “No, let’s do something different.” OK then.

Tito Santana v. Ric Flair

Intriguing! Tito overpowers Flair off a headlock and controls with that, getting a two count. Flair fights up, so Tito clotheslines him and dropkicks him back into the headlock again, and we take a break. Back with Tito reversing Flair into the corner, but a monkey flip is blocked and Flair gets two. Flair drops the knee to take over and offers some words for Savage, as everyone is on his jock this week apparently. Flair with the chops in the corner, but Tito backdrops him out of there and Bartlett actually says “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” as his witty line for that. Flair goes up to escape and gets slammed off, we follow with a Flair Flip as they brawl to the floor. Back in, Tito with a kneelift to set up the flying forearm, but he fails to cover and tries another one instead. Flair low-bridges him and puts him on the floor, and Perfect runs out and beats the shit out of Flair until the Usual Gang of Idiots breaks things up. And I guess it’s a Sportz Entertainment Finish at 7:00 or so. Going fine until the non-finish. **1/2

– Back from the break and they’re STILL fighting, so Flair stops to cut a promo and challenge Perfect to a LOSER LEAVES TOWN match next week.

So next week, it’s Perfect v. Flair and Savage v. Repo Man! BUT WILL SAVAGE FIND HIS HAT? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK!

Pretty great little show for 40 minutes long, actually.