Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re starting to get close to Slammiversary and that means we need to start lining up some title matches. There isn’t a lot announced for this week’s show as things are moving at a somewhat slow pace right now. Then again we have about two months before the next pay per view so they can take their time. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week. Thank goodness as I had to pull up last week’s review to remember anything about that show.
Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.
Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards
Josh says Sydal made his debut in the six sided ring last week, which means Josh doesn’t know his TNA history. Feeling out process to start with a technical sequence leading to a standoff. Sydal gets in a few kicks to the legs for the first advantage before countering a slam off the top with an ankle scissors. Now why didn’t Flair ever think of that? Eddie elbows his way out of a Muta Lock and grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb for two.
A sitout F5 sets up a spinwheel kick but Eddie can’t follow up. Matt hurricanranas him off the top for two but gets sent outside for the suicide dive. Back from a break with Sydal getting two off a powerbomb, only to get caught with a middle rope Codebreaker. As good as this has been, let’s pause for Josh to rant about JB a bit. Eddie slips out of a powerbomb but the Boston Knee Party is blocked with a jumping knee to the face. The shooting star press gives Matt the clean pin at 14:51.
Rating: B+. Where in the world did that come from? This was one of the best matches the company has put on in a long time and even Josh couldn’t make ruin it for me. Eddie losing clean aside, it’s cool to see a very good, long, clean match, especially opening a show. Good stuff here and Sydal looks like a star coming out of it.
They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.
Magnus thinks he should be in the main event of Slammiversary but now he has to face Alberto El Patron. If that’s what he has to do then so be it, but here’s Matt Morgan to say he should get the shot. Bruce Prichard comes in and makes a GFW Title match for later tonight.
KM is exercising when a custodian comes in to clean. He sweeps up trash and leaves but KM throws a piece of paper on the floor and yells at the guy for missing it. KM does it again and the custodian says it wasn’t there ten seconds ago. That doesn’t sit well with KM, who doesn’t like being called a liar.
GFW Women’s Title: Sienna vs. Christina Von Eerie
Von Eerie is defending. Sienna grabs a suplex for two to start and Von Eerie is in trouble early on. Another suplex sets up a neck crank and Von Eerie is dumped outside in a big crash. Christina tries a Pedigree on the apron but gets backdropped back onto the floor as this has been completely one sided. Back in and a Pounce completes the squash to give us a new champion at 3:56. The announcers’ biggest concern: Sienna has no respect for the Jarretts.
Rating: D. Here’s the big problem with this whole GFW thing: what is GFW and why should the fans care? Unless you were watching for about four to six weeks worth of shows two years ago, it’s just a collection of belts from a promotion that ran a bunch of house shows and hasn’t been heard from since. I get that the hardcore fans are going to know what’s going on but catering to that audience when you’re drawing 300,000 fans a week and wanting to expand is a really bad idea.
As for the match itself, Von Eerie beat a jobber last week and that’s the grand total of her exposure here until she got squashed to lose her title. Get rid of these belts as soon as possible or just drop them already. It’s clear that Impact Wrestling isn’t going to bother to explain ANY of this so get rid of them as soon as possible.
Eli Drake tells Bruce Prichard he wants in on the title picture. Instead he gets Alberto El Patron later tonight, but it’s for a shot at the GFW Title.
ODB wants to make Impact great.
JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.
Karen Jarrett makes Alisha vs. Angelina Love for some point in the future. Sienna comes up to brag about being champion but Karen says the target is on Sienna’s back. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting.
Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen
Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.
Carter puts the new bosses on notice.
Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.
GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.
Morgan pops up for his revolving elbows in the corner, followed by a side slam. A chokeslam gets two on the champ and the Carbon Footprint puts him on the floor. Morgan’s knee gives out so Magnus can grab the title. The distraction lets Magnus get in a low blow, followed by a Michinoku Driver and the top rope elbow to retain at 9:20.
Rating: C. Technically fine, though I’m not sure if that was a heel turn from Magnus. That right there is the big problem: these guys have had maybe a match each since returning and we really don’t know anything about them. Yeah they were here before but what are they now? They helped JB in his match so I guess they’re faces but there’s no real way to know for sure, especially given how they’re fighting over a title that just appeared with Magnus. Decent match but the booking continues to be a problem.
Lashley doesn’t care about the GFW Title because that’s the title people can win.
More JB sign stuff.
LAX wants to hurt more people.
James Storm wants to make Impact great.
Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.
Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks
Kong throws him into the corner to start and stands on Weeks’ chest. Three straight chokeslams into backbreakers (at Laurel Van Ness’ orders) set up a Cannonball and a top rope splash to put Weeks away at 2:47.
Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.
Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.
We look back at Sonjay Dutt getting hurt in the X-Division Title match two weeks ago. Dutt isn’t sure if he should have come back. If they don’t give him the title at Slammiversary, I have no idea what they’re thinking. It’s not the most interesting story but they’ve set it up.
Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron
The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.
Drake’s chinlock doesn’t work but Alberto misses a charge and both people are down. Drake gets back up and grabs a torture rack neckbreaker for a close two, only to have Alberto nail a low superkick for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a twisting throw for another near fall as this is far more competitive than I was expecting.
Drake can’t get a superplex and of course he winds up in the Tree of Woe. For once someone is actually smart enough to sit up and pull El Patron down. A springboard moonsault gives Drake two but he gets caught in the cross armbreaker. That’s countered as well but Drake gets caught in the ropes, setting up the double stomp (from the mat instead of the stomp) to give Alberto the pin at 17:56.
Rating: B-. Good match here as Drake’s in-ring abilities are starting to match his incredible talking skills. The same problem still remains though: they’re fighting over titles that have no meaning to the Impact Wrestling fans, which becomes a problem. The story would be exactly the same if they were all just fighting for a shot at Lashley. Just say Magnus is in this spot because he’s a former World Champion and thinks he’s entitled. It’s the same story advancement and the same ending. Why is that so complicated?
Overall Rating: C+. This is a REALLY tricky one to grade as the opener and main events were both very good but everything in the middle was just there for the most part. The booking continues to cater to the fans who are already here and the stupid battling announcers are now being joined by a former wrestler/manservant vs. a former leprechaun who is the illegitimate son of the owner the biggest wrestling company in the world. You need a lot more than that to make a company work and Impact really doesn’t seem to get that.
Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press
Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er
Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow
Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash
Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp
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