ECW on Sci-Fi #49 05/22/2007

We’re in Des Moines, Iowa and we’re two weeks away from One Night Stand. Judgement Day was last Sunday and you’re already plugging the next one? I’m glad they eventually narrowed it down to only Extreme Rules after Wrestlemania. Speaking of which, in relevant matches from Judgement Day:

Lashley regained the ECW Title from the McMahons and Umaga. Lashley blitzkrieg-ed Umaga at the start so he was free to take apart Shane and pin him after a Running Powerslam. Or as Tazz put it ”Lashley exploded over the McMahons!” Then Vince set Umaga onto Lashley and declared the victory non-title because Vince wasn’t pinned because ONS is soon.

CM Punk pinned Elijah Burke in a match that went way too long (17 mins) and suffered from Punk being wrapped up like THE YETAYYYY but still doing dives outside on his bad ribs, Seth Rollins-style. But Punk was over and the crowd were happy when he hit the GTS which is an encouraging sign for an ECW on Sci-Fi guy. Knowing WWE, they probably had him out that long to fuck with him.

Back to Slipknot-land and this episode of ECW.

Snitsky vs. Tommy Dreamer

Snitsky has been doing his puss-filled squashes for months now and the crowd only give him the mildest of boos. If beating up the forever-loved Dreamer can’t help him, nothing will. Dreamer gets pounded for a few minutes until he misses a big kick and Dreamer ”wears down the mighty redwood” and nails a DDT for two. Tazz suggests Dreamer didn’t get all of the DDT because Snitsky had been working him over. Hey, nice job Tazz! Dreamer comes off the top with a flying nothing and lands on a Big Boot. Running Bennett Kick gets the finish.

Winner: Snitsky (Dreamer sold the finish like he’d been un-plugged from The Matrix and the crowd still didn’t care.)

Snitsky tries to chair shot Dreamer but RVD saves the day with a Van Daminator.

Extreme Expose premiere Timbaland’s music video which features them dancing like strippers. It’s shot like Sin City complete with comic book framing and the guy from The Hives is in it. That’s all I’ve got.

Kevin Thorn vs. Wyatt Lara

Ariel’s been released so Thorn’s by himself. In an interview with a pop-up heavy website, she explained the release:

Batista and I had an aggressive conversation backstage and he said something that were unnecessary and uncalled for. If it was outside of wrestling, I’m pretty sure it could have been a legal problem for both Batista and WWE. But this is wrestling, and it’s a man’s business, so I fired back and they fired me. I was just a vampire girl in the fake ECW; he was Batista, and they wanted to accommodate him.

Ariel would show up in TNA shortly afterwards. Meanwhile, Thorn squashes this went-nowhere jobber as the crowd chants for his valet. Original Sin elevated neckbreaker finishes, even though that name doesn’t make sense now he’s by himself.

Winner: Kevin Thorn (You’d think losing his lass and going back to beating up jobbers would be a sign he’s leaving soon but the roster’s so small they can’t afford to lose Thorn.)

Backstage, Cor Von is talking to Striker until Burke demands Striker stop talking to them because he’s a loser. Burke blames his loss on the PPV to Striker and tells him he’d better win his match tonight OR ELSE.

Tazz thanks Puddle of Mudd for their song for One Night Stand. Puddle of Mudd in 2007?! WWE, on the pulse of pop culture!

Matt Striker vs. Brett Major

Striker got pinned by The Majors three weeks ago in a tag match, which kick-started his current suck-push. He’s out here by himself too. Brett’s Zack Ryder with long hair and he controls the majority of the opening by trying for lots of quick pins for another potential fluke. Sunset flip gets two but Striker clotheslines him hard. Cravat keeps Major at bay until he sneaks out and delivers a quick neckbreaker. Major counters a suplex into a small package for another two and lands the Rough Ryder! Striker doesn’t care and pins Brett after The Golden Rule.

Winner: Matt Striker (Afterwards, Striker tells everyone he belongs here. Yeah, on commentary.)

Dramatic music video package of Lashley beating Chris Masters, Viscera, Umaga and Shane McMahon to get a title shot at One Night Stand. He follows this up by shooting an arrow through twelve jobbers and bodyslamming the McNemean Lion.

Rob Van Dam & CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke & Marcus Cor Von

Punk is still taped up. RVD starts off with MCV and they go back-and-forth until RVD jumps to the second rope and fakes Marcus out.

Burke tags in so Cor Von can recover but RVD isn’t worried about Burke, who he schools with kicks. They do a quiet tag and trick Burke, which is something you see every week now on WWE but is pretty very welcome here. Ring gets cleared by the good guys, we go to break.

When we return, Cor Von has RVD in a Single Crab. He tags out to Burke who continues to work over his leg with stomps and leg locks. Sound strategy but he’s wrestling RVD so there’s a 90% chance he’ll still do his leg moves anyway. That kills five minutes and sure enough, RVD lands an enziguri to finally tag in Punk to the loudest reaction of the night. Running knee/Bulldog combo gets two on Burke, Cor Von runs in and RVD takes him out with a flying kick. ”How did RVD manage that with his knee all messed up!” RVD follows with a dive to the outside that Cor Von dodges. Cor Von runs in and gives Punk THE POUNCE.

However, Cor Von hasn’t been the legal man for a while now so the ref disqualifies him for his blatant ignoring of the rules. Cor Von responds by giving RVD THE POUNCE.

Winners via DQ: Rob Van Dam & CM Punk (Match was nothing special but everyone got a chance to look good so it was successful if you look at the strings and not the puppets.)

Overall: Pretty skippable episode, highlight was Tazz’s commentary as he managed to nail a few valid points when he wasn’t getting Burke and Striker mixed up.

I have nothing to plug here, I spent the last week and a bit in Orlando for Wrestlemania and I’m still trying to shake the bad feelings eating Popeye’s chicken with several gallons of Root Beer gives you. Hello to everyone I bumped into who said they commented on The Blog Of Doom on a regular basis. New Botchamania is out tomorrow but until then go watch OSW Review’s of TNA Destination X 2007.