Impact Wrestling – September 1, 2016

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The countdown to Bound For Glory 2016 continues as we have five more weeks before the biggest show of the year. Things have changed a bit coming out of last week as Drew Galloway has turned heel by attacking Aron Rex, likely setting up Rex’s first feud and a Bound For Glory match. Let’s get to it.

We open with Reby (who looks like Matt from behind) and the Hardys playing the piano and singing the Obsolete song. Even Senor Benjamin, Vanguard One and Maxill get in on the sing a long. Maxill’s piano playing give Matt a pre-mo-nition that the battle with Decay will take place here at the Hardy Compound instead of at the Zone of Impact. Matt is worried but Reby has a sword to protect herself and Maxill.

In the arena (and out of that insanity), Mike Bennett and Maria are here for a chat. Mike is here to complete his kingdom of miracles by winning the World Title tonight. He’s so successful because he surrounds himself with people like Maria and Moose, who Mike would like to come down to settle things. Instead here’s Lashley to say he doesn’t have to fake confidence like Bennett does.

Lashley is so confident that he’s willing to let tonight’s title match be No DQ. Bennett thinks Lashley is jealous of Moose and doesn’t believe that they went to dinner last week. The champ says they did go to dinner (Are we on a Disney sitcom?) and maybe Lashley smartened him up a bit. Moose comes out to say he’s let his actions do the talking and tonight he’ll determine who wins the title. Bennett takes that as Moose saying he’ll win but Moose says not so fast before leaving.

Matt Hardy vs. Crazzy Steve

They look at each other to start because both of them are a bit insane. Steve dropkicks the knee out and we hit the chinlock. The fight goes outside with the fans telling Matt to DELETE him. So they want Steve to join Matt’s team? Jeff hits Steve with a boot a few times and the Twist of Fate puts Steve away at 4:20.

Rating: D. I’m very bored with the Hardys anytime they’re just having matches. The gimmick is so insane that it’s entertaining at times and the second Final Deletion (you know that’s coming) should be fun but the actual wrestling is just Matt and Jeff looking old and boring. Steve continues to be more of a character than good but he works well with Abyss so that’s a step up.

Post match Steve gets the mic and says Decay is at the Hardy Compound and Maxill is now Rosemary’s baby.

The X-Division guys try to explain the X-Division and basically say it’s about being fearless. So we can expect Nikki Bella showing up when?

After a break, Matt calls Reby (with his phone actually saying Broken Matt Hardy) but she doesn’t answer. The camera in the Hardy Compound shows Rosemary looking at Maxill.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.

A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.

We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.

Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.

Ethan Carter III is talking about his match last week when Eli Drake comes up to challenge him to a match tonight.

Drew Galloway promises an explanation.

We look at Allie accidentally winning the Knockouts Title last week.

Here’s Drew Galloway to explain his actions from last week. Drew says you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. He’s been asking why he stood up for TNA when he first arrived and he’s not sure. When he won the World Title, the celebration went on for a week. Then Ethan Carter screwed him over three straight times but the fans cheered for him. Then Aron Rex showed up and said the same things he said in his debut but the fans were cheering for him anyway.

Rex wants to be the next Drew Galloway so Drew has to teach him a few things. This brings out Billy Corgan to say Drew’s actions should earn him a suspension without pay but a little bird told him not to do it. Drew accuses Corgan of becoming the establishment and doing everything Dixie Carter tells him. Actually it was Rex who kept Drew from being suspended and here he is for the brawl but security quickly breaks it up. This was good stuff and Rex looked like a star who was on Drew’s level.

Reby answers the phone and Matt says the match tonight was just a setup. She and Maxill will go to the safe room but Vanguard One tells Matt that Rosemary is already there.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Drake is nice enough to spell his name out before they head to the floor with Ethan in control. Back in and Drake takes over with your standard heel offense (I love listening to him talk but his wrestling isn’t great) and escapes the TK3 attempt. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and the second TK3 attempt connects just fine. The 1%er is enough for the pin on Drake at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but there’s nothing wrong with that. This was a main eventer beating a midcarder who got in some offense before losing. That’s a simple booking plan and it works just fine with the big name getting a win over someone with credibility and the midcarder not losing any status because he was fighting a bigger star.

Allie is very excited about her title win and doesn’t mind Maria making her plan her own celebration.

Reby tells Matt to get back here now. Senor Benjamin is holding Maxill.

DJZ celebrates his title win and says he’s ready to defend it.

Here’s Allie for her title celebration. Before she can get anywhere, here are Maria and Sienna to interrupt. Maria sends Sienna to the back and yells at Allie for thinking this is actually about her. Allie screws everything up and couldn’t even get the right color balloons here. This celebration is for Allie’s opponent and Allie needs to lay down right now.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis vs. Allie

Allie lays down and Maria is the new champion in three seconds.

Allie has to fight back tears as she announces Maria as the new champion.

Bennett tries to talk Moose into doing the right thing and hands him a pipe. Moose thinks about it.

Rosemary torments Reby but Senor Benjamin gets Maxill out. Reby tells Benjamin to prepare the field for battle.

TNA World Title: Mike Bennett vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and this is no DQ. The champ leapfrogs Bennett and does the delayed vertical suplex but here’s Moose to offer a distraction as we take a break. Back with Bennett in control and kicking Lashley in the face. Maria hits Lashley in the head with the cast and the Knockouts Title but Lashley shrugs it off and suplexes Bennett for a breather. A torture rack (good move for Lashley) has Mike in trouble and a spinebuster makes it even worse. Maria breaks up the spear but Moose won’t give Mike the pipe. The distraction allows the spear to connect to retain the title at 10:59.

Rating: C-. This was much more storyline development than an important match, which shouldn’t be the case for a World Title match. Moose turning on Bennett this soon could be interesting but it’s not like they’ve really been a unit long enough to give this much of an impact. Bennett never felt like a threat to the title here and that’s not a good sign.

Post match Bennett yells at Moose and calls him a failed football player. Bennett slaps him in the face so Moose clotheslines Mike’s head off to end the show.

Next week: Decay goes to Cameron. That’s right: FINAL DELETION II!

Overall Rating: D+. I had forgotten how annoying it was to have the show cut back to the Hardy shenanigans every few minutes. It’s not so much the story that gets annoying (though it can) but more the fact that they’ll have something like eight segments (some very short) in two hours. You could stretch this stuff out for weeks but instead we see every few minutes and it’s really easy to get burned out.

The rest of the show was just kind of there. The X-Division Title match was your standard showcase that isn’t likely to lead anywhere, the main event was fine and…..what else really happened here? Rex and Galloway brawled, we had a nothing match between Drake and Carter (it was fine enough) and we have Maria vs. Gail set up in a match that we’ve known was coming for months. I’m not sure why we’re getting it but after all the time they’ve put into it they have to give it to us. This show wasn’t terrible but it got tiresome by the end, mainly due to the constant Hardy segments wearing me down.


Matt Hardy b. Crazzy Steve – Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Braxton Sutter – DJZ pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – 1%er

Maria Kanellis b. Allie – Allie laid down

Lashley b. Mike Bennett – Spear

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