Ring of Honor – August 3rd, 2016

Howdy!

Let’s get the preliminaries out of the way here….

Not much in the way of news this week; a bunch of ROH contracts do expire at the end of the year, as Brian Bayless covered in one of the daily updates.

HOLY S---, Okada/Ishii was awesome. Highly, highly recommended. Ioan Morris went the full monty on it, and while I wasn’t all the way, I definitely had it at ****3/4 over a few nitpicks that no one cares about. Easily the best match of the G-1 I’ve seen so far. Check out Ioan’s review here: https://blogofdoom.com/index.php/2016/08/06/njpw-g1-climax-26-day-13/

Well, with all this NJPW talk, this feels like an ROH recap already. Let’s watch some wrestling, shall we?

Ring of Honor TV – 8/3/16

Let’s start off with a recap of last week’s dastardly events perpetrated by the Bullet Club. You know, I’m basically Kyle’s biggest fan/stalker there is, but I’m just not sure that the crowd is buying into this push; Cole and the Bucks are crazy over and I’m not sure they can change that.

We are TAPED from the Cabarrus Center in Concord, North Carolina! Your hosts are Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuinness. And we’re not wasting any time here, as that’s the music of the champ!

Jay Lethal makes his way to the ring and he’s got a mic; let’s hear what the champ has to say! “The Ring of Honor World Champion has got something to say, and it’s simple!” What happened between Lethal and Kyle O’Reilly wasn’t right! Yeah! He puts over Kyle and it not being right that Kyle had to fight at less than a hundred percent, and it wasn’t right that the Bullet Club took that away from Kyle! And it really wasn’t right that Lethal had to do what he did to Kyle! Well, tonight, Jay Lethal wants the Bullet Club; since tonight’s main event is The Briscoes vs the Young Bucks, let’s add Jay Lethal with the Briscoes and Adam Cole to the Young Bucks and make it a six man tag! Crowd is very much in favor of this idea, and so is Nigel, who tells Jay that Lethal has a deal! That’s a great main event! Back at the desk, Kelly asks Nigel about what he said at the end of last week’s show, and Nigel reiterates that since Adam Cole is so adamant that as long as Cole is in ROH, Kyle will never be the ROH world champ, so long as Nigel is matchmaker, Adam Cole will NEVER get another shot at the ROH World title!

YEAH! I SURE HOPE THAT THE ROH WEBSITE DOESN’T STUPIDLY SPOIL THAT STORY WAY TOO EARLY, ON THE FRONT PAGE NO LESS!

Ahem.

Let’s take a break for some great ads!

We’re back with a washed out vignette with Steve Corino and Kevin Sullivan at a picnic table! Don’t read that twice, I typed it correctly. Corino: “You told me that I needed to realize….” You know what? I’m taking recapper’s license here because this story is really, really f------ stupid. They both say some stuff about evil and other s---, and this feud is apparently going to continue because there is no God, or at least one who’s paying attention to Ring of Honor these days.

Back to the ring now, and P-Dog and the Getalong Gang are in the ring, further proving my previous point. He calls out Moose, who must have hopped a really fast jet from Florida (or is pre-taped), because here he is, and I suspect that P-Dog isn’t long for this world. Moose hops into the ring and the Getalong Gang attacks, but Moose dismisses them relatively quickly.

Moose (w/ Stokely Hathaway) vs P-Dog (w/ out a prayer)

Posey attacks Moose with a mic after the bell rings. Moose no-sells that, headbutt by Moose. Powerbomb to the buckles by Moose, then a Beel throw from the corner, followed by two spears after the crowd requests a second one, and we’re done here. (Moose over P-Dog, pinfall, 1:19)

WORTH WATCHING? NOPE.

Post-match, here’s Prince Nana & Donovan Dijak! Nana: “Give it up for Moose and Stokely Hathaway! Boy, that was impressive!” There’s a reason that Nana brought Moose to Ring of Honor! Moose is his friend! And Moose has been kicking butt ever since Nana brought him to ROH, and Stokely has been doing a great job too. Moose has been beating some of the biggest guys in Ring of Honor, so how about a match right now? How about Moose vs Donovan Dijak? Stokely agrees, let’s do right now! For the first time in his career, Donovan Dijak is an UPGRADE! Woohoo! Code of Honor is followed. And we’ll have that match….after these great ads!

Moose (w/ Stokely Hathaway) vs Donovan Dijak (w/ Prince Nana)

We’re back with Dijak pounding away at Moose against the ropes. More forearms, Dijak comes off the ropes but Moose meets him with a dropkick to send Donovan to the floor. Moose tries for a baseball slide, Dijak avoids that, but Moose manages to catch him with a European uppercut on the floor. Moose sends Dijak to the barricade, then picks him up in a swing position and swings him into the barricade. Moose goes to other side of the ring now to get a running start for the Superman Punch, but Dijak catches him and chokeslams him onto the apron. Dijak tosses Moose back in and there’s more clubbing forearms. Moose tries a comeback with an uppercut, but charges right into a Dijak big boot in the corner. Dijak goes up and Moose goes for the dropkick off the top, but Dijak puts his feet up and shoves Moose back to the mat mid-jump. Dijak with a fireman’s carry into a sitout powerbomb on Moose! 1,2, no! Dijak slams the mat in frustration; don’t be frustrated big guy, you’re getting a lot better out there! He drags Moose to the corner and goes up, but takes way too long and Moose dropkicks him off the top and to the floor. Dijak manages to pull himself back to the apron. Moose charges, but Dijak hits him with a right hand and looks to spring in, but Moose turns him in mid-air into a sitout chokebomb! Not quite as smooth as it sounds, but still pretty cool considering the sizes involved. That gets two. Both guys stagger back to their feet and trade shots, with Dijak gaining the advantage. He comes off the ropes but gets hit with a straight shot from Moose, who fires the Moose punches at Donovan. He winds up for the big discus shot, but Dijak blocks that with a kick to the gut and then a suplex throw from Donovan. Moose pops right back up, as he’s no-selling that one, bicycle kick by Moose! Moose goes for the springboard crossbody off the top, but Dijak moves out of the way! Feast Your Eyes attempt by Dijak is blocked by Moose, who gets a discus lariat, Spear by Moose! Dijak moved! Moose hits the buckles and stumbles into a chokeslam into a backbreaker by Dijak, and I’m relatively shocked by how enjoyable this match has turned out. That gets one! But Moose has nothing left, and Dijak hits a bicycle kick and a big forearm, following that with Feast Your Eyes for the clean pin. (Donovan Dijak over Moose, pinfall, 7:28)

WORTH WATCHING? To my shocking surprise, YES, this one was one of the more watchable big man matches I’ve seen in awhile. AND it involved Donovan Dijak! It’s not a great match, don’t get me wrong, and Dijak still looks sort of lost out there when it comes to transitions between moves, but this one was just about the two guys hitting big moves on each other and there was legit drama near the end of the match. Yes, I liked it. Now let us never speak of this again.

Post-match, Moose looks kind of dazed, as that Feast might have connected a bit more than intended. Nana and Stokely make the peace, but Dijak wipes Hathaway out with a spinning big boot! Yikes. As Hathaway rolls around the mat in pain, we’re told that our main event is next, so let’s roll into this ad break!

We’re back and it’s the Addiction! Chris Daniels says that they’re not blind like Matt Murdoch, they can see what they’re doing to the ROH tag team division! The most talented tag division in the world is running scared! The ANX is on the campaign trail, reDRagon is chasing singles gold, the Briscoes had to go to a third world country to get some gold! The Machine Guns, the Bucks, War Machine; the Addiction shut them all up by shutting them down! Kaz tells us that if the ROH tag division was a jungle, they’d be the lions, because they’re tag team wrestling gods! Daniels tells us that they are the best…in…the…business.

Recap of Global Wars and we’re told that next week, Colt Cabana gets his rematch on ROH TV! It’s Global Wars 2, the rematch!

We’re with Caprice Coleman, Kenny King, & Rhett Titus! I refuse to dignify any of this by giving their ‘titles’. Let’s see what they have to say! Kenny King says there’s been a whole lot of support for the ‘Make Wrestling Great Again’ campaign, and their first issue to solve is the Young Bucks. I now support the Cabinet! Hey, I’m a one-issue voter, what can I say? Kenny says that his solution is to build a wall around the Young Bucks! That’s really stupid! I still don’t care! BUILD THAT WALL! How are they going to mitigate the cost? Simple, the Bucks themselves are going to pay for the wall with their t-shirt sales! They go off on a few more tangents about little people, locker room cancers, and guys who couldn’t make it in other sports, like Moose! Man, we’re hearing a lot about that dude tonight, I sure hope he’s sticking around. You know, the sad part about this promo is that they were really trying hard to sell it, and they really weren’t half-bad; but the gimmick is just death.

“Bullet Club!” Main event time! Here comes the Bucks and Adam Cole. The Bucks are sporting some hardware, with their IWGP Jr tag titles and the NEVER 6-man titles they currently hold. “Never? We’ll see about that.” says Cole on his way to the ring. Matt Taven has joined us on commentary for some reason, I assume to slag on Cole for awhile. The Bucks ‘too sweet’ the fans at ringside, because actually being heels might hurt the shirt sales. I’m only mildly joking; they really should cut that s--- out. Taven says as much, wondering why the fans support these dirtbags. Now, I’m no expert here, but why is a heel guest commentator saying this stuff, especially if it is true? I get that Taven hates Cole, but heel announcers are supposed to hate the faces. “Reach for the sky, boy!” And here come the Briscoes! They’ve got their IWGP heavyweight tag team titles in tow to add to the straps at ringside. And there’s the music of the ROH World Champ! Jay Lethal comes out alone, no Taeler, as his face turn continues. This match should be great, and there’s a lot of time. This is YOUR main event, and it begins….after these great ads!

We’re back!

The Bullet Club (Adam Cole, Matt Jackson, & Nick Jackson) vs Jay Lethal, Jay Briscoe, & Mark Briscoe

Cole and Jay Briscoe look to start us off. They circle and the Bucks come into the ring, so Mark and Lethal decide to make it a party, and we’ve got ourselves a pier six brawl to start off. Lethal and the Briscoes clear the ring, so both Jays decide to do some stereo topes onto Cole and one of the Bucks, while Mark adds his Blockbuster from the apron to the floor on the other Buck. More brawling on the floor as Mark Briscoe takes Matt Jackson to the barricade and adds a crane kick for good measure. Lethal sends Nick face first to the ring apron. Mark and Lethal set up a table as Jay Briscoe looks to toss Adam from the ring through it, but the Bucks put a stop to that with a double superkick to Briscoe. Nick takes out Mark with a dropkick on the floor, then Matt holds Lethal in a headscissors on the apron to allow Nick and Cole to hit a double dropkick on Lethal, and now the Bullet Club controls the ring. Cole stomps away at Jay Briscoe in the corner as we’ve had literally non-stop action thus far. Nick Jackson chokes away on Briscoe in the corner while the referee admonishes Cole. Cole back to work on Briscoe with a slam, a couple of elbows, and a jumping knee. That gets two. Tag to Nick and he comes in with a senton as Taven slags on the fans and the Bucks, and I just want to rip his mic away at this point. Heel announcers root for the heels. This is pro wrestling, it’s not that complicated. Armwringer by Nick and he tags in Matt, who comes in with a double stomp onto said arm. Matt rakes the back of Jay Briscoe while Nick gets a chant going on the apron for the Bucks. Sigh. Right hands by Matt, he sends Jay off the ropes, Death Valley Driver by Briscoe! Tag to Mark Briscoe from Jay, tag to Adam Cole from Matt. Mark comes in as Cole and Nick do, and he runs wild. Pele kick to Cole! Shots to the ribs of Nick! Mark tosses Nick and goes to work on Cole in the corner, setting him on the top rope. Straightjacket slam off the top by Mark! 1,2, no! Tag now to Lethal, and Mark throws him at Cole in the corner, Lethal hitting a running forearm. Jay Briscoe splashes Cole in the corner, followed by Mark Briscoe doing the same. Slam by Lethal on Cole, and Mark goes up, but Nick Jackson is back on the apron. He shoves Mark to the table on the floor! Table bent, but did not break, so double ouch for Mark there. Superkick to Jay Briscoe! Double superkick to Jay Lethal! Speaking of things that do break, here’s an ad break!

We’re back with folks attending to Mark Briscoe on the floor, but he wants to get up and fight, which scares the crap out of Matt Jackson on the floor. Meanwhile, in the ring, Lethal is elbowing out of an Adam Cole chinlock. Mark won’t leave as Cole catches Lethal off the ropes with a back elbow. Cole runs Lethal back into the Bullet Club corner as Nigel is now personally going to escort Mark to the back. Tag to Matt Jackson, and he comes in with some kicks on Lethal. Snapmare, a few knees to the back, and Mark slaps on the ol’ chinlock. Lethal fights off Matt and comes off the ropes, but runs right into a dropkick. Tag to Nick, and he drops Lethal gut first on his knee, followed by Matt coming across for the neckbreaker/backbreaker combo. Nick rakes the eyes of Lethal and taunts Briscoe on the apron, then sends Lethal to the BC corner, but Lethal fights out to the floor, hitting Cole with a superkick on the floor, then a cutter on the floor to Matt. Nick tries for a running kick on the apron, but Lethal ducks and Nick hits Cole instead. Lethal gets back in and goes for the tag, but Nick manages to cut him off and nails Lethal with a back elbow. Nick looks to finish, but Lethal ducks and gets the Lethal Combination. Absolutely stellar work from Lethal in that sequence, from timing to selling, the whole nine. Cole back on the apron, Nick makes the tag to him, and Lethal makes the tag to Jay Briscoe! Superkick from Briscoe to Cole! Superkick to Nick! Superkick to Matt! Cole tries one of his own, but Briscoe catches it and gets a discus forearm, then a superkick of his own on Adam! He’s outkicking the Young Bucks! Machinegun neckbreaker by Jay Briscoe on Cole! 1,2, NO! Three straight European uppercuts by Briscoe, but Cole hits a jumping kick to stun Briscoe. Cole off the ropes and he runs right into a big boot from Briscoe. Briscoe goes for another neckbreaker, but Cole slips out and gets the fireman’s carry neckbreaker on Briscoe. Both wrestlers are down, so it’s probably a good time to take a final ad break!

We’re back with Lethal and Matt Jackson slugging it out in the middle of the ring. Lethal gains the advantage and goes for the Lethal Injection, but Nick comes back in and the Bucks flip Lethal over the top, Lethal lands on his feet. Nick goes for a superkick, but Lethal catches the foot and nails Matt Jackson with it! Superkick by Lethal to Nick! Lethal Injection attempt by Lethal, but the Bucks recover enough to double superkick Lethal! Briscoe back in now, and he just tees OFF on the Bucks with rights, Briscoe off the ropes, he ducks a double superkick by the Bucks and gets a double clothesline! Superkick by Cole now to Briscoe! Standing Shining Wizard by Cole to Briscoe! Lethal back in with a superkick to Cole! Lethal Injection to Cole! Matt Jackson tries to hit Lethal with a knee, but Lethal ducks and rolls him up for the 1,2,3. (Jay Lethal, Jay Briscoe, & Mark Briscoe over The Bullet Club, pinfall, 11:43)

WORTH WATCHING? Well, it’s six good pro wrestlers in the ring for three segments in a six-man tag with minimal wrestling and tons of action. YES, you should certainly check this one out. Fun stuff from start to finish, all the way. A few too many superkicks on both sides, but that’s to be expected from the Bucks at this point. It held together well enough.

Post-match, the Bullet Club attacks Lethal and Briscoe, and Cole brings a chair in the ring. Chair to the ribs of Jay Briscoe! Chairshot to the back of Jay Briscoe! Cole sets the chair up in the ring, Jaydriller to Jay Briscoe on the chair by Adam Cole! That finally gets some boos from the crowd. Lethal rolls to the apron and stands, but the Bucks and Cole nail Lethal with a triple superkick! Man, Nigel’s security is TERRIBLE. He definitely needs to get on Yelp about that s---. Cole goes under the ring and grabs a bag; what could be in there? A second triple superkick keeps Lethal dazed, Cole reaches into the bag and pulls out….scissors! Uh-oh, we’re gonna do some cuttin’! Cole cuts off the cornrows in the back and holds them up like a trophy, but he doesn’t appear to be done! He’s got an electric razor! OH THE HUMANITY! He proceeds to shave Lethal’s head while the Bucks threaten Cary Silkin at ringside. Cole finishes and holds up the ROH World title belt, telling the camera and ‘one way or the other, I’m gonna make this mine!’ Cole drops the strap on Lethal and we’re done for the week.

FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: Well, better late than never, I suppose. Over the last two weeks, the Bullet Club has finally started doing what they should have done immediately after Global Wars, namely running roughshod over everyone they don’t like and demanding whatever they want. I don’t understand why we waited or it took this long; it’s kind of like the last few months didn’t even happen, especially with Cabana finally getting his rematch next week. The last two episodes of ROH TV have been well-done, advancing stories and building the feuds for Death Before Dishonor. I may bitch a lot, but kudos when the company does it well, and they’re doing the main feuds well right now.

As always, thanks for reading this thing I wrote,

Rick Poehling
@MrSoze on Twitter