The SmarK Rant for USWA Main Event–10.06.90

The SmarK Rant for USWA Main Events – 10.06.90

I guess this is yet another syndicated version of the USWA TV show.

USWA Unified World title: Jerry Lawler v. Jeff Jarrett

Lawler is full-on chickenshit heel at this point, and we get the requisite stalling and running commentary from him, before Jarrett finally gets a dropkick. Lawler collides with manager Ronnie Gossett for another comedy spot and we take a break. Back with Lawler getting a chain from Gossett to take over, and no one in wrestling can do more with less, as he has the crowd freaking out with horror from a single punch. Back to the chain behind the ref’s back, and this time he chokes JJ out with it and then tosses it back to Gossett again. There is some high-level choreography going on in there as that chain flies in and out of the ring and the ref is in the exact position to not see it each time. That matches might be terrible, but you have to appreciate the artistry of Memphis wrestling. Jarrett retreats to the corner and Lawler unleashes his own version of the IRON CLAW to annoy the fans, but Jarrett comes back with a punch and Lawler flies halfway across the ring off it. Jarrett makes the comeback and Lawler sells like crazy, but now Gossett distracts the ref and throws the chain in again. This time Jarrett steals it and gets the pin at 10:00, but he’s not a heel and so doesn’t know to throw the chain away, thus giving Lawler the DQ win instead. Lawler and Gossett proceed to the beatdown and some ANGRY fans try to rush the ring, but all the heels run in and just destroy Jarrett. And since it’s the end of the night, there’s no one left in the dressing room to save. Finally Billy Travis runs down and smashes a guitar on some people. And a light bulb goes on over Jarrett’s head. As a match it was pretty bad, but how can you not love Jerry Lawler? **1/2

USWA Unified World title: Jerry Lawler v. Jeff Gaylord

Gaylord, doing a weird Ultimate Warrior impression at this point, no-sells all of Lawler’s offense and chokes him out on the ropes, but Gossett trips him up and Lawler gets his own choking. They head to the floor and Lawler uses a chair, which is not a DQ for some reason, but he misses the flying fistdrop and Gaylord makes the comeback. It’s the dreaded airplane spin, but the ref gets bumped and Lawler rolls him up with handful of tights to retain at 5:00. Gaylord was pretty awful. Surprised he never got a job with the WWF, actually. ½*

USWA Southern title: John Tatum v. Bill Dundee

This is actually a repeat of a match from months ago. What is this, a clip show? Dundee takes him down a couple of times as Tatum hides in the ropes and complains about having his tights pulled. Miss Tessa looks like Roller Girl at her low point. We take a break and return with Tatum yelling at Tessa before heading back into the ring. Dundee continues slugging away as Tatum is still stalling, but he finally gets a cheapshot to take over and superkicks him to the apron. Dundee comes back, but the ref is bumped and Tatum knocks Dundee out with Tessa’s purse to retain at 9:32. **

Tough Man match: Jeff Jarrett, Eric Embry, Percy Pringle & Bill Dundee v. Gary Young, Jeff Gaylord, Steve Austin & Skandor Akbar

Kind of hilarious how dumpy old Eric Embry managed to turn himself into the #1 babyface in the company through some great booking. Embry quickly pin Young with a backslide, which earns the babyfaces the right to beat on one of the heels 4-on-1 for 1:00. They pick Gaylord and beat on him, and Gaylord needs to answer the 10 count for the match to continue, which it does. Jarrett and the babyfaces pound away on Gary Young, but Dundee comes in and gets caught in the heel corner. It’s BONZO GONZO all of a sudden and Akbar pins Percy Pringle, so the heels get to pick a babyface to beat up. They choose Jeff Jarrett and beat on him for the 1:00, and now we get another brawl when Jarrett beats the count. Akbar gets pinned by Jarrett in the melee, and the faces pick him for the beatdown as well. Jarrett nails Akbar with a chair and he’s of course down for the count at 11:10. Interesting concept, but it didn’t really amount to much here. **

The Pulse

Not a lot to recommend on this episode.