The SmarK Rant for USWA Challenge–09.10.90

The SmarK Rant for USWA Challenge – 09.10.90

Anyone else see a lot of similarity between the John Scott All-Star game fiasco and the Daniel Bryan fiasco? Either way, don’t piss off your fanbase.

Taped from Dallas, TX

Your hosts are Craig Johnson & Percy Pringle III

So obviously we’ve skipped ahead a lot since the last one I did, and Pringle is now a heel again.

Bill Dundee lets us know that tag team wrestling is just like swimming – you might change partners, but it’s still the same breast stroke. OK then. Do they not have metaphors in Australia?

Billy Joe Travis v. The Angel of Death

This is Vince Russo’s wet dream, a DOUBLE POLE MATCH. One side has Travis’ guitar and the other side has Angel’s trumpet. Unfortunately, Angel is injured and he produces some jobber named “Tim Tall Tree” instead, who apparently specializes in climbing poles. It appears to be Danny from Game Grumps, in fact. Like, literally some skinny kid with a giant afro who dresses like a cross between Jimmy Snuka and Jay Strongbow. Travis climbs for the guitar but gets caught, and Tall Tree knees him down and goes for the trumpet, but Travis knocks him down and gives him a press slam. Tall Tree tosses him and follows with a dive from the apron, and we take a break. Back with Angel getting a cheapshot on Travis from the floor, and the announcers have the gall to insinuate that he might not be injured after all. Working hurt is what caused all the problems in WWE! Bless you, Angel of Death, for taking a stand. Back in the ring and Travis makes the comeback and both guys climb for their weapons. It’s like a Terry Garvin social mixer, because there’s “action on both poles”! Travis climbs first and gets the guitar to win at 6:49. Ah, so it works like a ladder match. Angel attacks after the win and Travis cleans house with the guitar, probably further injuring poor Angel. What if it was a concussion, you insensitive jerk? Decent match, but I don’t think Tall Tree ended up as anything of note. **1/2 A quick check reveals that it’s Tim Renesto, son of Tom Renesto of the Assassins.

Chris Adams is really sick of Jeannie Clark’s nonsense.

Meanwhile, a wheelchair-bound Skandar Akbar tells off Jeff Jarrett, but then rises up and throws a fireball in his face. The scourge of flash paper continues unabated. Jeff Jarrett joins us here with a pretty good makeup job for 1990, although a closeup and digital quality reveals that his “scars” are not that impressive in reality. Still, kudos for effort.

Bill Dundee & Steven Dane v. The Rock N Roll RPMs

OK, so this is not actually the team most known as the RPMs, as Tommy Lane has been replaced by Kevin Dillinger for whatever reason. So now you’ve got two balding pasty white guys dressed like the Midnight Rockers. Dillinger, by the way, is nicknamed “Silent But Deadly”, so basically his gimmick is that he’s a fart. He was also known as Allen Martin as a jobber in WCW. Dane, apparently trying to be Lex Luger at this point, cleans house on the RPMs with press slams and chases the heels. Man, they just kept trying to find SOMETHING to do with Steve Casey and it never clicked. The heels do some comedy selling for Dundee as we run through all the Memphis stuff. Example: Dundee does a criss-cross with Dillinger, suddenly yells “Stop!” and then slugs him down. They repeat the spot, Dillinger yells “Stop!” this time, and Dundee slugs him down again. We take a break and return with Dundee throwing punches at Davis to break up a test of strength, and we get the stupid rowboat spot. I know Dundee is short, but they don’t need to book it like a midget match. Finally Dane comes in and gets low-bridged from the apron and RPMs take over, but the babyfaces make their comeback until Rod Price runs in for the DQ at 9:48. Pretty worthless. *1/2

Cage match: Steve Austin & Jeannie Clarke v. Chris & Toni Adams

For those not aware, this was a SUPER hot feud for most of 1990, stemming from the real life divorce of Chris Adams and Jeannie Clarke due to his student Steve Austin turning on him in storyline and then “stealing” his ex-wife in reality. It was so effective that it pretty much got Austin and Jeannie a job in WCW soon after. Percy Pringle is locked in a cage at ringside, guarded by Chris Von Erich to further that sad feud. Big brawl to start and Austin gets pinballed by the Adams Family in the corner and sent into the cage. We take a break and return with Toni rolling up Jeannie for the pin at 3:00. Nothing to this one. DUD Well, aside from Jeannie Clarke’s spectacular advertisement for spandex. The babyfaces handcuff Jeannie to the ropes and Toni actually yanks out some of her hair, or at least her extensions. And then they drag Pringle into the ring and beat HIM up, too, with Chris Von Erich trying desperately to get into position and just having no idea what to do in there. So sad, because he obviously wanted to live up to the name so badly and just couldn’t. This was a mystifying choice of match to highlight, because the whole point of these USWA uploads on the Network is to showcase Steve Austin, and he got squashed like a bug here.

The Pulse

Pretty terrible episode.