BoD RAW

This has nothing to do with the WWE

 

 

We begin with Kensington Enterprises in the ring! Biff has the mic as the BOD champions stand arrayed.

 

Biff: Behold, the glory of Kensington Enterprises! Now then, while I’m sure you would all love to hear the dulcent tones of my voice for many hours, I promised last week that I’d have a surprise for all of you, but more specifically, I’d have a surprise for those two losers, AndyPG and John Petuka! Come on out, won’t you boys?

 

AndyPG and John Petuka, noticeably standing apart from each other, make their way onto the entrance ramp.

 

Biff: There we are! Now then, you boys have been becoming more than a bit of a headache for me and the rest of Kensington, and that won’t stand! So, I’ve had some discussions with my good friend Bobby Bayless on an outing to meet the cast of his favorite film, Little Nicky! And while he was excitedly snapping selfies with Adam, he agreed that my idea would be great for the BOD!

 

Petuka: Get to the point or shut up, Kensington.

 

Biff: Petuka, don’t speak to me unless you’re pointing to a sign first! Now then, where was I? Ah yes, you boys and your delusions of grandeur. Well, I figured it would behoove both of you to really be put to the test at the BOD Rumble, and that test is this; tonight, in this very ring, the two of you will face off! And boys, can you guess the stakes?

 

AndyPG: I don’t care what you’ve got up your sleeve, Biff. That (he points at the BOD World Title on the shoulder of Hoss) is mine at BODMania III.

 

Biff: Well, we’ll have to see about that, Andy! Because tonight, you and Petuka will face off, and the loser will be the NUMBER ONE entrant into the BOD Rumble! That’s right, boys – you’re fighting to not be #1! (All of Kensington laughs) Of course, with Hoss winning the Rumble, that’ll be a moot point anyway, but still-

 

Wait! Justice Gray and Rockstar Gary have come out on the stage! Justice has a mic, Gary has a shotglass!

 

Justice: Biff, I know that you’ve been talking to Bobby, and yes, your match will happen tonight. But I’m afraid that since the World Title must be defended at the PPV under the rules, Hoss will not be in the Rumble match. Tonight, we’re going to have a #1 Contender’s match!

 

Biff: You don’t know what you’re doing, Justice. I’ll talk to Bobby.

 

Justice: Be that as it may, the match is happening.

 

Biff: Oh, really? And who, may I ask, are the supposed #1 contender candidates?

 

Justice: Well, let me introduce them to you!

 

That’s the music of Abeyance! He makes his way out to the stage, AndyPG noticeably tensing up but patting him on the back regardless. He looks confident as the music hits again….it’s Kbjone! The chair-swinging reprobate of the BOD is brandishing his signature weapon as he goes and stands next to Petuka, who nods at him.

 

Biff: REALLY? These two morons are going to be wrestling for the chance to win the most prestigious title in all of Sports Entertainment?? (Muttering) I think that cousin of his is getting to Bobby….

 

Justice: No, not JUST them. There’s one more guy….

 

Wait! That’s Kensington Enterprises’ own music! The third man is Extant1979! He looks confused in the ring, but then gets a broad smile! He turns around….and Hoss is staring right at him! Curtzerker steps in-between them as the two of them put on a brave face, but Extant is eyeing that World Title! Biff steps in to calm things down.

 

Justice: That’s right, it’s a triple threat to see who will challenge Hoss at the BOD Rumble! See you later tonight, boys!

 

Rockstar Gary: Yeah! (He takes his shot and tosses the glass down) Earning my paycheck for the week!

 

It’s on tonight! John Petuka will battle AndyPG and the loser will get #1 in the Rumble! Kbjone, Abeyance, and Extant face off to become the #1 contender! What a night in the BOD!

 

 

BoD Tag Team Title Tournament #1 Contender Match Semifinal: Camp Cleveland vs. TatR & Shelton Benjamin

We have just been handed a note that says the teams who reach the semifinals but fail to win the tournament will be placed into the BoD Rumble. Have won the match and will go on to the finals. Camp Cleveland ambushes their foes to start but it fails! TatR & Shelton fight back and clear the ring of the dastardly Camp Cleveland. The crowd is pumped while Camp Cleveland regroups halfway up the entrance ramp. Things settle down as TatR and Mikey lockup. They engage in an Irish whip sequence that ends with TatR hitting an armdrag. TatR locks on an armbar then tags out. Shelton also works the arm as Mikey is neutralized in the corner. TatR is back in and heads up top for an elbow drop but misses. Mikey rolls away and tags WWF1987, who stomps away. TatR is getting double-teamed in the corner while Shelton runs in to break it up but that does not help at all. Camp Cleveland hits a double suplex for a nearfall as Mikey is back as the legal man. Mikey almost puts TatR away with a tilt-a-whirl slam and an Overdrive. WWF1987 is in as the crowd rallies behind TatR. WWF1987 tries a back suplex but TatR floats over. TatR ducks a clothesline and comes back with a leg lariat. WWF1987 gets up first but TatR somersaults and makes the tag! Shelton springboards in with a clothesline. Mikey runs in and Shelton backdrops him to the floor as the referee checks on him. Shelton takes care of WWF1987 but all of a sudden a production assistant runs into the ring and hits Shelton! What the hell! And he had a chain around his hand! The man now wipes his face and paint wipes off to reveal Night of the Educated Negro Ensemble! Mikey runs in and tags as TatR got jumped by a fan, who is X Man in disguise. Oh come on! Mikey hits Shelton with the AA then tags WWF1987, who hits a moonsault for the win. What a miscarriage of justice. And now, Night grabs the mic:

“Tonight, we appeared as imposters. And what is an imposter? It is someone who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others. (Points at TatR & Shelton) So what we have here are a couple of imposters. (Points at TatR) Someone who traded in his heritage for a paycheck. (Points at Shelton) And someone who thinks he stands for myself and everyone else who shares my skin color. Let me tell you this! You do not represent me, (points at X Man) you do not represent him, and you certainly do not represent the #1 contenders for the BoD Tag Team Titles. (Night & X-Man leave to a chorus of boos). “

 

 

John Petuka is the back with Peyton_Drinking.

 

Peyton: John, you gotta win this thing tonight, man.

Petuka: Don’t I know this? I don’t need to prove how brave I am, and I certainly don’t want to go coast to coast in the Rumble. Did you ask around the boys?

Peyton: If they know who it was that attacked you, they aren’t talking.

Petuka: Figures. (He resumes working the heavy bag)

Peyton: You know, I’m going to be in the Rumble too, John.

Petuka stops.

Petuka: I know. And I like you, Peyton. (Pause) But if I have to, your ass is going over the top rope like everyone else.

Peyton looks troubled as Petuka resumes his workout.

 

 

BoD Writer’s Title #1 Contender Match: Ioan Morris vs. Kyle Connor

The winner gets to face “The Machine” Tommy Hall at BoD Rumble for the Writer’s Title. And joining us at ringside, sporting a sweet Eric Anthony throwback as part of the “Left Fielders of the 90’s With No Shot at the Hall of Fame” Collection. The two start off going back and forth as neither man can gain an advantage. All of a sudden, Dock Muraco comes to the ring and sits down on color commentary as he has something to say: “What is Ioan doing out there? He does not know the difference between a ***1/2 and a **** match!” Dock stands in front of the ring as Kyle gets two with a La Magistral cradle. Kyle heads up top but Ioan meets him with a dropkick then Ioan hits a brainbuster on his knee for the win! Ioan will face Tommy, who gets off of his off-brand smartphone to point at Ioan then points back at his BoD Writer’s Championship as these two will face each other at the BoD Rumble.

 

 

We’re in the Kensington Enterprises dressing room. Wade Michael enters.

Wade: Biff, tonight our main event will crown the newest #1 contender to your man Hoss and his World Title.

Biff: Is there a question in my future, genius?

Wade: Well, with Extant in the match, are you having a hard time with the idea that one of your own wrestlers could end up challenging Hoss for the World Title? Do you worry about dissension in your ranks?

Extant walks up, the A+ title on his shoulder.

Extant: Allow me to field this one, if you would Biff? Listen up, you plebian; when I am inevitably triumphant tonight, there will be no ‘match’ with Hoss. I am, of course, a team player, and as the smartest man in the BOD I know that my time will come in the future. Besides, I already have the most prestigious title in all the BOD anyway, so why would I want to face off with my comrade? After all, Kbjone has never defeated me, and we already know that Abeyance simply cannot defeat Kensington Enterprises. Let’s face it, this match is a mere formality!

Wade: But if that’s all true, why do you keep staring at the World Title that Hoss is holding?

Biff grabs the mic from Wade.

Biff: This interview is OVER! Williams, get him out of here!

Wade is escorted out as we hear voices being raised behind the now closed locker room door.

 

 

The Job Mob have made their way out to the ring. Sexy Tanahashi is holding all active Six-Man Tag Titles while Four holds up four fingers. Jobber puts out his blunt in the announcers water cup then grabs a mic:

“Tonight, I am wrestling in front of all of you, the Job Mobsters. And, Bobby Bayless, who is watching “Honey, I Shrunk My Thighs,” the newest horror film put out by BoD Studios, is off tonight but said I could face two opponents tonight. (Sexy Tanahashi brushes away someone who is in a 15-foot radius of his titles) So, ladies and gentleman, here are my opponents, who will help me get into shape for the BoD Rumble.”

We see two men walk down the ramp and they are……………….Trunk Barlow and Roth Munson, two Job Mob flunkies. Sexy Tanahashi and Stuart Chartock are laughing at these jabronis while Jobber ensures them that they are two quality opponents.

 

 

Jobber vs. Trunk Barlow & Roth Munson

The Job Mob flunkies are inside as Jobber shakes their hands. Jobber then clotheslines both of them as the Job Mob are cracking up outside. Jobber shrugs then boots Barlow though the ropes as Tanahashi throws a cup of water on the pathetic bum. Back in the ring, Jobber toys around with Munson before putting him away with the Razors Edge, covering him with a finger after he put on a plastic glove. Jobber waves the Job Mob in and they pick up Munson and throw him outside on his partner as they all start laughing. Is Jobber a threat to the Rumble or is he not taking this too seriously and just collecting a paycheck?

 

 

AndyPG and Abeyance are in the back.

Abeyance: Look Andy, about last week….

AndyPG: Don’t worry about it. I get it.

Abeyance: It wasn’t personal.

AndyPG: I get it, I promise. Just go out and win your match tonight, and we can hit each other for real at BODMania.

Abeyance: I don’t totally get this – if I win, how do I get a title shot? I lost that chance at Wargames.

AndyPG: I don’t know. Go find Bayless and ask him.

Andy tapes his wrists as they grow silent. Tension is thick in the air.

 

 

Spotlight! There he is! John Petuka steps out on stage, head bowed….BANG! The sign is unfurled! “BODMania III…..starring John Petuka” Petuka takes a deep breath, raises his head….he POINTS TO THE SIGN!! 3 women just fainted in the 2nd row! Petuka makes his way to the ring, testing the ropes. And there’s the music of AndyPG! He makes his way down the aisle, not taking his eyes off Petuka, who is similarly locked in with Andy. The crowd is completely torn!

 

Loser is entrant #1 in the BOD Rumble:  AndyPG vs. John Petuka

Here we go! They circle and lock up, Petuka with the advantage. Chain wrestling by Petuka, he goes for a quick Bazooka, but Andy spins out and goes to the floor! Petuka holds up his fingers, it was that close early. Andy back in, and we go again. This time Andy with a standing side headlock, Petuka shoots him off, Andy with a drop toehold and a front facelock. Andy with a wristlock, Petuka elbows out, comes off the ropes, Andy drops him with a clothesline. Andy lays in with stomps and gets him up, armwringer into a single-arm DDT, as PG tries to take away the Bazooka arm of John. He drops a knee on Petuka’s arm, again. Andy with a whip to the buckles, Petuka hits shoulder first. Andy dropkicks the shoulder and gets a shoulderbreaker on Petuka. Andy with a chinlock, transitioned into an abdominal stretch. Petuka tries to fight out, but Andy takes him back down into a crossface. Will Petuka tap? He tries for the bottom rope and Andy cuts him off, but Petuka takes advantage and rolls him over for two. Andy gets a slam and he goes up, 2nd rope kneedrop misses! Petuka grabs Andy and tosses him from the ring to try to buy some time. He shakes out the arm, but it’s hurting. Andy comes back in, and Petuka is waiting. He fires left hands with the right arm gone, and gets a swinging neckbreaker. Drops an elbow but comes up grabbing the arm again. And now, Curtzerker has come out on the stage, and they’re slowly making their way to the ring. Petuka turns and jaws with them, and Andy gets a rollup! 1,2, no! Curtzerker stands watching as Andy goes back to work on Petuka. He sets John up on the top rope, superplex attempt is countered and Andy goes crashing to the mat! Petuka from the top rope….moonsault by Petuka! 1,2, NO! Andy kicked out! Petuka shakes his head and shakes out his arm again. Andy did some damage there, and Petuka isn’t right yet. He continues to trash talk Curtzerker on the outside. He gets Andy to his feet, grimacing in pain….he’s going to try for the PETUKA BAZOOKA! He can’t get Andy up! One more try…..Andy slips out behind Petuka! DRAGON SUPLEX from AndyPG! 1,2,3!! AndyPG wins!! John Petuka will be the #1 entrant into the BOD Rumble!

 

Andy staggers to his feet, and Curtzerker pounces! They lay Andy out with a variety of double-team moves! Petuka tries to get up, but they take him out too! Biff is out on the stage applauding!

Biff: Your winner, ladies and gentlemen, is AndyPG! (He golfclaps) And Andy, do you know what you’ve won? Well, you won’t be #1 in the BOD Royal Rumble – but what I didn’t tell you is that as the winner, you’ve won the right to be #2 in the BOD RUMBLE! That’s right, PG – I hope you and John enjoyed battling it out, because you two are going to do it all….over….again.

Biff laughs as Curtzerker exits the ring, leaving both Petuka and Andy laying! Biff Kensington has struck again – #’s 1 and 2 for the BOD Rumble have been decided! Can either Petuka or Andy catch a break against Kensington?

 

 

In the back, Jef Vinson has arrived in his limo. His lovely valet emerges behind him. Vinson turns to address the camera.

Vinson: Well, it seems like I’ve missed a few things here in the first hour, haven’t I? See, that’s the benefit of knowing that I’m #30 in the BOD Rumble; I have nothing to worry about, do I? Now, I know that you all want to hear about the status of my lawsuit against AndyPG, but my incredibly high-priced attorneys have instructed me not to talk about that. But it’s inevitable that I will triumph, as I will at the BOD Rumble and as I will at BODMania, and I get back the belt I never should have lost! Oh, and one more thing; there are a few people who have been asking why I did what I did to Matthew Maynard Adams; next week, I’ll talk about that! For right now, the, ahem, PRIVATE skybox awaits myself and my valet, so I’ll have to talk to you next week; I suspect my mouth will be otherwise occupied for the next hour or so….

Vinson winks at the camera and walks into the BOD Arena!

 

 

BoD Tag Team Title Tournament #1 Contender Match Semifinal: “Distinguished” Devin Harris & FunkDoc w/ Night & X-Man vs. Strike Force

Mar Solo has been perfecting his special brew all week. Talk about high-test stuff. Hell, Peyton Manning’s wife already ordered some of it! Night and X-Man are circling the ring as Strike Force are at a marked disadvantage. Indeed gets the advantage to start to stops as the other three members of the ENE hop onto the apron. The referee orders them down as FunkDoc, the legal man, motions Indeed to come forward. Indeed carefully approaches as his partner is hopped up on caffeine, high-stepping and clapping his hands on the apron. Night distracts the referee as FunkDoc whips Indeed against the ropes but Indeed takes out X-Man with a baseball slide and lands on the apron. FunkDoc runs over but Indeed slingshots in with a sunset flip for a nearfall. “Distinguished” Devin Harris runs in for a leg drop but misses as Mar Solo comes in as Strike Force sends DDH and FunkDoc outside with double dropkicks! The crowd goes mental as Strike Force leaps up high for the high five, followed by frantic fist-pumping and high-stepping. The ENE regroups but Indeed gets down on all fours as Solo runs and jumps off of him to take out the ENE with a somersault senton! Mar Solo is running around the ring like a psycho while the crowd is in a frenzy. FunkDoc gets back inside as Indeed grabs a side headlock. Indeed tags out as Solo hits a corner splash followed by a bulldog. Indeed is back in but X-Man yanks Solo off of the apron. Indeed looks at his fallen partner while Night yells at him from the apron. Indeed looks around as DDH runs in and its three-on-one. Indeed slides under DDH to get away but gets trapped and beaten down. DDH now legally tags in and puts the boots to Indeed. Night and X-Man are booting Solo outside as FunkDoc distracts the referee. Meanwhile, DDH puts Indeed in a Boston Crab as Indeed struggles to reach the ropes. Indeed is able to break the hold but DDH stomps the back. He tosses Indeed to the floor and distracts the ref as Night and X-Man slam Indeed against the guardrail and post. Indeed is rolled inside as FunkDoc tags in and gets two with a lungblower. FunkDoc works a surfboard as Solo struggles to get to the apron. DDH runs inside too as Night once again takes Solo down as X-Man gives him a running kick to the chest. Indeed manages to survive as he desperately needs to tag out. DDH is back in and he puts Indeed in a bearhug. All of the Aquanet is sweating out of Indeed’s hair, making it harder for DDH to hold him. Indeed slips out and gets backed into the corner. DDH charges but Indeed dodges that as both men are down. FunkDoc steps into the ring as the ref just yells at him while X-Man and Night are almost caught running over to Indeed. Night runs up on the apron as TatR & Shelton run out and yank him down. They go after X-Man as the ENE’s advantaged has been neutralized. FunkDoc tags in as does Solo, who is a house of coffee! Solo with a pair of dropkicks followed by an elaborate high-stepping/cartwheel sequence. TatR & Shelton are brawling with the other members of the ENE. Solo winds up and hits FunkDoc with a flying forearm. DDH runs in to hit FunkDoc then bounces off of the ropes for a splash but TatR pulls them down and he falls! Solo gets up again as FunkDoc tries for a reverse rollup but Solo reverses that and gets the win!! The fans go nuts as Strike Force celebrates. The ENE are enraged as a smiling TatR & Shelton walk up the ramp. Next week, Camp Cleveland takes on Strike Force for the right to face Curtzerker at the BoD Rumble for the BoD Tag Team Titles.

 

 

And now, lets check in on the Adventures of Art

(Scene: Art is at the Steel Monkey’s house, which is an abandoned School Bus that sports a satellite dish. Art needs to get back to the BoD Arena)

Steel Monkey: I was the first person to have a computer in my county. (Points over at an Apple IIe)

Art: Good lord that is older than me………….but not as old as everything else in this place. 

Steel Monkey: We can only get you back to where you need to go by using time travel (Takes off his fatigues and grabs some Crisco)

Art: What the fuck are you doing!

Steel Monkey: Sending you back to the future. 

Art: Oh my god you are a moron. 

Steel Monkey: (Lathers himself with Crisco) Set the machine to 250 (The machine is an oven)

Art: Dear lord (sets it as instructed)

Steel Monkey: Time to split atoms into the univere (proceeds to ram himself head-first into the oven as Art runs away)

 

 

Not to be outdone, lets check inside of the BBQ Truck to check on the Men With Macklin

Truck is parked outside of an undisclosed location

Duck: Did you hear Sting is going into the Hall of Fame?

Marv: Which one?

Duck: What do you think were his best colors?

Marv: Whatever he wore while sitting at home

Mears: (Finishes two beers) Hey! We need to rescue Art! (Runs out of the van as Marv watches Ken Griffey Jr. videos while Duck comes up with ideas that would have gotten Mark Jindrak over in 2004).

 

 

“Pistol” Pete Labozetta vs. Clark O’Brien

Lets see what these youngsters have to offer. The match starts but all of a sudden, Cultstatus runs into the ring. He destroys each man with his finisher, the jackknife powerbomb, then grabs the mic:

“And you thought I was gone for good. Let me say this: Two years ago, I won the inaugural BoD Rumble as entrant #1. So, this year, I enter myself again and no matter what number I pull out, I know I can win (kicks both men again and hits then with another jackknife). Whoever wants to stop me, look at these two pathetic men, because that is what is going to happen. At BoD Mania, I do not care who is the champ going in because at the end of the show, I’ll be leaving as with the strap.”

 

 

Here is this week’s edition of “Wadespeak” with host Wade Michael Meltzer and guest Mister E Mahn

Wade: Mister E Mahn, how are you holding up now that Cuppie has been kidnapped?

Mahn: PrimeTime Ten is a disturbed man. He sends me Alexandre Daigle memorabilia in the mail on a daily basis and pictures of Wayne Gretzky celebrating with the Stanley Cup, only that the head is cut off and replaced with a headshot of PTT.

Wade: I did something similar with the IWGP Title in 2013. Got drunk off of Sapporo and sent some XWF DVDs to Jason Powell too.

Mahn: I got a DVD you know. And yesterday, I went to see the moving picture show.

Wade: How many stars?

Mahn: I saw a few I think. Maybe Tom Cruise.

Wade: Hmm, he has one hell of a dropkick.

Mahn: Look, I want all of the fans to know one thing: I will get Cuppie back and PTT, if you harm him, I will make you suffer so much you’ll never forget. I’ll do the Toronto Tap Dance right on your head and those masked Mounties you have will have their shock sticks shoved where the sun doesnt shine!

Wade: There you have it, folks.

 

 

This would have featured the Stranger in the Alps training montage. However, due to a negotiating error by Jimmy the Agent, you the fans were robbed of seeing Stranger in the Alps train to the sound of “Take me Higher” by the Damn Yankees.

 

 

In the back, Wade Michael is muttering to himself.

Wade: Okay, it’s my job, gotta do it….(he knocks on Kbjone’s locker room door)

Kbjone emerges, trusty chair in hand.

Kbjone: Hey Wade!

Wade screams and runs the other direction. Kbjone shrugs and picks up the mic.

Kbjone: So, this is all kind of cool, huh? I mean, I’m already supposed to get a rematch with Extant for the A+ belt, and now I get the chance to go after Hoss too? What a week! Now, Abeyance, I don’t have anything against you, really, so if you stay out of my way and let me just take care of Extant, you and I can be the very best of friends in this match.

He looks at the cameraman, who realizes what’s going to happen too late….CLANG! The camera goes down as we see the feet of Kbjone skipping away! The #1 contender’s match is NEXT!

 

 

A vignette airs:

He’s coming……………………….He’s vicious…………………………he is in all capital letters………………

CAPSLOCKMAN, coming soon to BoD RAW

 

 

In action next week, we will see Kaptain Kiwi & “Canadian Dream” Mister E Mahn vs. “Pride of Canada” PrimeTime Ten & DBSM w/ The Posse. Plus, footage from Biscuit’s medical clearance party at the Robbinsdale, MN American Legion Post #251. And some Royal Rumble Qualifying matches along with the finals of the BoD Tag Team Title #1 Contender Tournament between Camp Cleveland and Strike Force. And the 2016 version of the “BoD Rumble” rap!

 

 

Kbjone vs Abeyance vs Extant1979 – #1 Contender’s match

And here we go. Kbjone and Abeyance give a quick nod to each other, and the double-team begins on Extant! They work him over in the corner and toss him to the outside. And now they lockup. Kbjone tries to get a go-behind, but Abeyance c ounters with a side Russian legsweep. Abeyance in control. He works Kbjone over with rights and forearms, big lariat puts Kbjone down again. But from behind, Extant is back and he clobbers Abeyance in the back of the head and tosses him to the outside. Now he’s going to work on Kbjone, starting with a backbreaker. He continues to work the back with a few knees, and he slaps on a Regal stretch to further work it. Abeyance is back, though, and he breaks it up. Kbjone rolls to the outside as Abeyance and Extant hook it up. And now Hoss has appeared along with Curtzerker on the ramp, watching intently as Extant and Abeyance trade the advantage. Abeyance reverses and gets a German suplex. He pops the hips, another! Looking for the third, but Kbjone is back in and he gets a superkick on Abeyance to put everyone down! Kbjone and Extant are first to their feet as Hoss is still watching, not taking his eyes off the ring. Kbjone fires a wild right, but Extant ducks and gets a belly to back suplex for two. He slams Kbjone and goes up, but now Abeyance is back in and he dropkicks Extant, crotching him on the top rope. Abeyance to the top rope, superplex! 1,2, Kbjone breaks it up! Abeyance gets to his feet, but Kbjone gets a kick to the gut and a DDT to regain the advantage. He turns his attention to a struggling Extant and picks him up by the hair, but Extant rakes the eyes and suplexes Kbjone to put a stop to that. Extant shrugs off the referee and…..did he just point at Hoss?…..I don’t know, but Hoss looks less than pleased. And he’s coming down to the ring! Meanwhile, Extant gets a picture perfect Olympic slam on Kbjone. Cover, 1,2, no! Abeyance broke that up, and Hoss has made his way to the ring while Curtzerker is trying to calm him down. He shouts at all 3 men while Abeyance works over Extant and gets a standing enzuigiri! Abeyance pulls off the elbow pad, and he says it’s time for the Welcome to the BOD elbow!! He winds up…..hits it! Extant goes down! 1,2….Hoss pulls him out of the ring! Abeyance can’t believe it! He looks over at Kensington with fury in his eyes and turns around….right into a Slingblade from Kbjone! Kbjone loads Abeyance up….tombstone piledriver by Kbjone! Here’s the cover…..1,2,3!!!!! Kbjone is the #1 contender and will challenge Hoss for the World Title at the Rumble!

 

In the meantime, Extant is coming to outside the ring, being supported by Curtzerker. He grabs his title belt and he starts yelling at Hoss! We can clearly hear Hoss yelling back “You were out! I saved you!” Hoss rolls into the ring….but from behind, Kbjone has his chair! CLANG! Kbjone just knocked Hoss out with the chair! Biff is out and yelling as Kbjone looks down and picks up the World Title belt and holds it aloft! Will the Chairman of the BOD be the next World Heavyweight Champion? Is Kensington beginning to disintegrate before our eyes?

 

 

Confirmed BoD Rumble Participants:

Jobber

Stranger in the Alps

Zanatude

Four

Stuart Chartock

PrimeTime Ten

Mister E Mahn

DBSM

Kaptain Kiwi

Biscuit

Andy PG

Jef Vinson

Abeyance

John Petuka

TatR

Shelton Benjamin

“Distinguished” Devin Harris

FunkDoc

Cultstatus

Extant1979