This has nothing to do with the WWE
(Outside the BoD Arena, Wade Michael Meltzer sits in front of the Red Carpet as the Weinermobile pulls up with Bobby Bayless and his fiancé Hilda getting out)
Wade: Bobby, how do you feel about the premiere of BoD RAW Star Wars?
Bobby: Hey pal. Its a great movie. I get to dance with the Fat Boys!
Hilda: I want ice cream cake.
Bobby: Everyone does, girl.
Wade: Bobby, besides movies, how are you going to set up the BoD Rumble?
Bobby: (Sips his YooHoo while holding a can of Pepsi in his other hand) What? I’m gonna see my movie with my girl!
Wade: You are the GM of a wrestling promotion. Shouldn’t that be your top concern?
Hilda: BOBBY, I WANT MILK DUDS!!!!!!!!!
Bobby: That’s my girl! She ain’t no cruiserweight!
Wade: Yeah, neither was Bob Sapp (smarmy laugh follows).
At BOD TLC, Kensington Enterprises escaped with their titles once more, as Extant and Hoss somehow retained their championships! Also, Jef Vinson made his stunning return, defeating AndyPG in the finals of the 5 for 30 Gauntlet match, thereby making himself the #30 Entrant into this year’s BOD Royal Rumble! Tonight, we begin the road to the BOD Royal Rumble – who will be the challenger for the World Title on the grandest stage of them all, BODMania III?
And here’s the reigning champions of the BOD, Kensington Enterprises! Biff Kensington leads the World Champion Hoss, the A+ Champion Extant1979, the Tag Champs Curtzerker, and the Writer’s Champ Tommy Hall to the ring! And Biff has a mic!
Biff: And once again, the champs are here! As you can see, despite the odds being stacked against us, there is no obstacle that Kensington cannot overcome! Now then, you can see that we at Kensington have brand new merchandise, and since I’m sure that you’ll be bored later, why not take that time and head out to the merchandise stand to pick up your brand new Kensington shirts, hats, beer cozies, jumper cables, –
And we’re interrupted by the music of AndyPG! The White Knight of the BOD comes out on stage, sarcastically clapping, mic in hand.
Andy: Biff Kensington. (Pause) Congratulations, Biff. You somehow managed to slither your way out of losing your precious titles once again, didn’t you?
Biff: AndyPG! Can I confess to you a secret? I was PULLING for you to win that match at TLC, if only because if you somehow win the BOD Rumble, that’s basically a night off for Hoss at BODMania! (All of Kensington laughs) I mean, the only bigger joke than you in the entire BOD is that idiot Petuka, and it’s not like-
Spotlight! The lights go out! There he is! Sporting a bandage on his head from being attacked backstage at BOD TLC, John Petuka has made his way to the stage! He bows, points…BANG! There’s the banner! “BODMania III….starring John Petuka” is unfurled, Petuka takes a deep breath….Biff interrupts!
Biff: Alright, that’s about enough of that!
Biff interrupted Petuka before he pointed to the sign! OH THE HUMANITY! Petuka whips off his shades!
Petuka: Kensington, you son of a bitch! I know it was your guys! I know they jumped me before my match at TLC! You know that Hoss is afraid of me!
Biff feigns innocence.
Biff: MY guys? Petuka, why in God’s name would I bother having my guys attack you? (Biff narrows his eyes) You’re NOTHING, Petuka. You’ve been amusing to watch for the last several months, and I personally enjoyed your little ‘feud’ with Vinson where you kept getting your ass kicked, but let’s face some facts here; you’re nothing more than half of a glorified midcard tag team act. You think you’re somewhere near the level of the main event, of Hoss? Jesus, both of you are dreaming! The world isn’t like it used to be, where hard work (pointing at Andy) or confidence (pointing at Petuka) is going to get you something; today, it’s all about the MONEY. And if you need further proof of that, well, take a look in this ring! (Laughing to himself) AndyPG and John Petuka. It’s almost enough that I wish Vinson were back.
The BOD Tron flickers to life! It’s the former World Champion, Jef Vinson and his lovely valet! They’re broadcasting from Vinson’s limo in the parking lot.
Vinson: Miss me, anyone? (Chuckling) Well, maybe not you, Andy. Maybe not you. Now, I know, I know, some people got a little bent out of shape at what I did to you at TLC, but you have to understand that it was all business, Andy. Although, after the match, that was pleasure. And now that I’ve reclaimed my rightful place with #30 in the BOD Rumble, it’s only a matter of time before I head to BODMania III to reclaim what I never should have lost.
Biff: So, to recap, we’ve got a former writer, a guy who literally had the word midcard in his tag team’s name, and the guy who captained a team that got outsmarted by Kiwi. (He turns to Hoss) I think you’re going to have this belt for a long, long time.
(Kensington chuckles as AndyPG and Petuka narrow their eyes at him on the stage, Andy gets the mic.)
Andy: Biff, you somehow think this is some big joke. You think there’s something funny about justice, about doing the right thing. Well, let me tell you something, sir; I don’t care what my number is at the BOD Rumble, I plan to win it! (He turns towards the Tron, where Vinson is snorting laughter) As for you, Vinson, I hope you’re still in the parking lot when I get down there!
Andy tosses the mic down and races to the back! Petuka picks up the mic.
Petuka: Kensington, underestimate me at your peril. The John Petuka you knew from last year is gone; like a phoenix, I’ve shed my skin in flame! And don’t think that myself and Andy are the same, because he has some sense of ethics….(Petuka grins) but I sure as hell don’t! Hey, Hoss? See you soon!
Petuka drops the mic and POINTS TO THE SIGN! The crowd goes nuts for
Petuka as he glares at Kensington!
Lets take a look at the 2nd Round Brackets for the #1 Tag Team Title Contender Tournament:
Camp Cleveland vs. Cabspaintedyellow & Kyle Warne
TatR & Shelton Benjamin vs. Upvoters
“Distinguished” Devin Harris & FunkDoc vs. Beard Money & Jose Gomez
Strike Force vs. Hart Killer & Joe Dust
BoD Tag Team Title #1 Contender Tournament 2nd Round Match: Camp Cleveland vs. Cabspaintedyellow & Kyle Warne
Mikey taunts his opponents with the “You can’t see me” handwave as the crowd boos. Warne takes control with a headlock to start. He breaks and whips Mikey, who slides outside to stall. Mikey tags WWF1987 as he mixes it up with Warne. WWF1987 slaps Warne off of a break then Warne motions to hit him but WWF1987 ducks underneath the ropes. Camp Cleveland is pissing off the crowd and now Cabs tags into the match. Cabs gets whipped and has a sequence with WWF1987 that ends with Cabs hitting an armdrag. WWF1987 charges and Cabs takes him down with a drop toehold and locks on a crossface. Mikey runs in to break it up but accidentally elbow drops his partner. Warne comes in and helps take Mikey to the floor with a double dropkick. Cabs tosses WWF1987 through the ropes and Camp Cleveland get hit with stereo planchas as the crowd goes nuts! Camp Cleveland get rolled back inside as Cabs nearly pins WWF1987 with a gutwrench powerbomb. Warne tags and comes in with a springboard clothesline. Warne is in control but WWF1987 reverses an Irish whip and Mikey yanks him down by the hair from the apron. Mikey now tags in and puts the boots to Warne. He tosses out a towel to the crowd as they boo even more than before. Camp Cleveland are cutting off the ring as Cabs is trying to rally the crowd behind his partner. WWF1987 comes in and drops an elbow onto Warne for a nearfall. WWF1987 busts out the dreaded Indian Death Lock as Warne tries to escape. Mikey taunts the crowd while Warne is slowly making progress towards the ropes. Warne finally grabs a hold of the ropes as WWF1987 breaks. Mikey tags in and hits a shinbreaker for a nearfall as Warne desperately needs to make a tag. Mikey heads up top for a leg drop but Warne rolls away as both men are down. Cabs frantically tries to rally his partner over to make the tag. Mikey tags WWF1987, who cuts off Warne. WWF1987 goes for a back suplex but Warne floats over then rolls to his partner and makes the tag! Cabs is a house of fire as he fights off both members of Camp Cleveland. He clotheslines WWF1987 to the floor. Warne gets up top and hits WWF1987 with a somersault plancha. Cabs is now beating on Mikey and places him up top. Cabs gets on top as well and they duke it out. Cabs tries for a hurricarana but that gets blocked. Cabs swings himself back up and tries it again but is shaken off and lands on his feet. Warne and WWF1987 duke it out on the floor as WWF1987 hits him low. Cabs leaps back up top but WWF1987 meets him and while the referee is distracted, hits Cabs with a fireball!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! Cabs is stunned as Miley puts him on his shoulders and hits a super A.A. as WWF1987 yells at the ref to count the pin and he does as Camp Cleveland advances to the Semifinals. Several officials run in to check on Cabs, who is covering his face and withering around in agony.
And now, lets check in with a medical update on Biscuit:
(Head of BoD Medical, Miss Diagnosis, is with Biscuit in her office)
Miss Diagnosis: Hello Biscuit, how are you feeling today?
Biscuit: (Irritated) I told you last week I took an aspirin and slept on a mattress. I am fine!!
Miss Diagnosis: Well, a few minutes ago you were talking to the plant in the waiting area.
Biscuit: I was talking to my first tag team partner, “Grappling” Greg Gunderson from Plymouth, Minnesota. He owes me a can of Hormel chili!
Miss Diagnosis: Biscuit, this seems serious. There was no one there.
Biscuit: Serious is right. I’m hungry! Why don’t you get in the kitchen were you belong and make me a sandwich
Miss Diagnosis: I will not do that. Now touch your nose with your finger.
Biscuit: (completes the task) Are you happy now
Miss Diagnosis: Yes! Come back next week and we will see if you are going to be cleared in time for the Royal Rumble.
Biscuit: Whatever. I’m working a spot show against The Ditch Digger at the local VFW in a few. Gotta keep fresh for the ring. (Biscuit leaves as Miss Diagnosis looks worried).
The cameras catch Brian Bayless on the phone as he enters the arena:
Brian: (on the phone) Look, I have to attend the premiere of BoD RAW Star Wars. Do I think it will be good? It was written by the geniuses who brought us Corky Romano and my dumb fuck of a cousin how could it be enjoyable. And even worse, I have to sit between Bobby and Hilda. Yeah, I know and trust me, it will happen.
Backstage, we have Wade Michael Meltzer alongside Kaptain Kiwi
Wade: Kiwi, last week at BoD TLC, you were disqualified in your match. And now, rumors are that Anchor Cheese is considering dropping you as a sponsor. Do you have a response to that?
Kiwi: (Uses his Garea death stare)
Wade: Deep answer. Also- (DBSM and the Posse cut him off).
DBSM: Whoa, whoa. Wade, I’ll answer that question since the Koala Bear happens to have Kiwi’s tongue. (Looks over at the Posse) You all got that reference, right? (Posse nods in approval). Look, I’ve been at the Anchor Cheese Holiday retreat. And while speaking with CEO, Theo Spierings, I found out the one thing he loathes the most: cheaters. And after you tried to cheat at BoD TLC, he told me that is not the type of person to lead Anchor Cheese into the 21st Century. I mean, what kind of example are we setting for kids by saying breaking the rules is okay? And who wants to buy processed, canned cheddar endorsed by a rulebreaker? Well, I have to go hit up the club so the guy who played Waldo on “Family Matters” can hit on Spinderella. (DBSM and the Posse leave as Kiwi continues with his death stare).
We are back in the theater as Bobby and Hilda. Lets see what they have to say:
Bobby: (To Hilda) Hey girl, can you pass the Sno Caps?
Hilda: (passes box) Here you go
Bobby: (Pissed) Dammit, there aren’t any left!
Hilda: I was hungry
Bobby: Of course you were, otherwise you’d be a pathetic scrawny cruiserweight.
(Bobby keeps looking over at a big empty chair that is placed front and center. The camera zooms in and on the chair reads a note that says “reserved.” And over on the left side of the chair is a picture of Gary Strydom’s WBF pose.)
BoD Tag Team Title #1 Contender Tournament 2nd Round Match: TatR & Shelton Benjamin vs. The Upvoters
The Upvoters slap hands with the fans and hand out BK Ground Chicken Burgers to the kids. What kind people they are. All four competitors shake hands before the bell. Danimal, who is sponsored by Red’s Frozen Burritos, puts Shelton in an armbar as we are getting a scientific matchup here. Shelton escapes then catches Danimal with an armdrag after an Irish whip sequence. Both men tag out as TatR and Kenny Reigns lockup. They mix it up on the mat as the match is even so far. TatR attempts the IrriTatR but Reigns escapes and tags out. Danimal hits TatR with a clothesline then tries a crossface but TatR counters. TatR tags Shelton, who takes Danimal down with a dropkick. Danimal rolls away from a splash and also tags out as Reigns gets two with a La Magistral cradle. The fans are torn on who to root for so they seem to be appreciating the fine ability on display. Speaking of on display, the Educated Negro Ensemble have made their way on the ramp. Back to the match as Reigns misses a corner splash then TatR tags in and hits a missile dropkick and follows that up with an Oklahoma roll and gets the pin! The Upvoters then shake hands with their opponents and leave as TatR & Shelton follow. The Educated Negro Ensemble refer to TatR as “Traitor” then individually approach Shelton and say “you are not me” as the ENE have made their presence felt tonight.
Folks, here is our exclusive sit down interview with Stranger in the Alps:
Wade: I’d like to thank you for being here.
Stranger: Wade, it is my pleasure. How was your holiday?
Wade: ***1/2. Would have been **** but my uncle Leo shit his pants and sat next to me for dinner. The Pot Roast was barely **1/2. But the red bliss mashed were phenomenal, an easy SDOTYC at ****3/4.
Wade: Side Dish of the Year Candidate
Strangers: Makes sense I guess. I enjoyed a ***** donair though. Aw heck, every donair is *****.
Wade: The Okada of Canadian delicacies.
Stranger: (Confused) Sure?
Wade: Stranger, why did you decide to use this time to address the BoD
Stranger: Wade, as you know, I’ve taken time off to reflect on things. Mainly watching B-Movies. But what I have missed the most are the youngsters. When I saw Jimby and Mr. Statan Jr. write me letters that I’ve been missed, I felt it right here (points to heart).
Stranger: With that being said, I’ve decided to enter myself into the 2016 BoD Rumble.
Wade: Big news. You haven’t stepped inside of the ring since BoD Mania II. How confident are you going to be heading into the match?
Stranger: With my experience and the help of the Little Strangers, I’ll get back into shape in no time.
Wade: That sounds like a training video montage waiting to happen.
Jimmy the Agent: You got that right
Stranger: Will I get paid for that too or did you mess up that part of the contract as well?
Jimmy the Agent: Maybe we will hold off on the videos.
Stranger: Or not do them at all
Wade: What about the Little Strangers?
Strangers: Dammit Wade, why do you have to play with my emotions.
Wade: (Smarmy laugh) Why do the folks at BoD Mecca send me death threats?
Strangers: Because they are psychotic, Wade. Psychotic.
Wade: There you have it, Stranger in the Alps is back and in the BoD Rumble.
Art is off the path, folks. Lets check in on his journey.
(Art is being led by Brent, who can no longer help him. Brent believes by asking to heat up his coffee in a microwave that Art is a crystal meth addict.)
Brent: Hey man, there is only one person who can help you. He is whip smart you know.
Art: Not if he knows you.
Brent: Must be the meth talking. (very anxious and shaking his hands and head).
Art: What is your deal? Dammit, I know your deal and this is why HE likes you.
Brent: I don’t know your deal. Speaking of deals, I once had a sherpa whose cousin’s barber met Howie Mandel. He had the runs and darted to the bathroom at the Newark airport. Their flights both got delayed and spoke briefly in line at Auntie Anne’s pretzels. Speaking of pretzels, I am a Snyder’s of Hanover guy myself. I make my own mustard as dip.
Art: Now I really know why he likes you. You make him seem like a nuclear physicist.
Brent: Man, I dont do meth. Okay, we are here.
(We see an abandoned schoolbus, sporting a satellite dish and a full size cardboard cutout of The Tick)
Stay tuned for further updates.
Wade: We have been unable to ascertain the whereabouts of Matthew Maynard Adams at this time. Fans, after his title match with Hoss at BOD TLC, he apparently destroyed a car with part of a tree and simply walked away. There is no information further. Also topping our missing wrestlers list is the curious case of Robert Davis and Archie Stackhouse; almost a month has passed since the last appearance of the crazed Riverdale residents. This tape was delivered to the arena tonight from an undisclosed location.
The video plays as Robert Davis stands in front of a large Kensington Enterprises logo, wearing the ‘Hoss Rules!’ t-shirt and twirling Jughead.
Davis: BOD Rumble. They say it’s a time where a challenger is named at the end, where the stars align in a way, so to speak. My stars tell me it’s time for violence, BOD. For more than six months, Biff Kensington, you’ve run away like a coward from Archie and I, from the judgment that is inevitable. Yet, you seem to think that you can somehow avoid it with your restraining orders, your bodyguards….let this be known, Biff Kensington – myself and Archie will return at the BOD Rumble. And your final downfall…begins.
Stackhouse comes into frame.
Archie: Welcome to Hell, Biff Kensington….
Davis: Welcome….to the End.
We’re back with Wade as he shudders.
Wade: And we’ve also received word that due to the disputed ending of their match, Kbjone and Extant1979 will once again lock up for the A+ Championship at a later date-
Extant strolls into the picture.
Extant: Disputed ending? There was no dispute over who walked out with the belt! And while I may have indeed gotten overzealous, it was only a matter of time before handily defeated that miscreant Kbjone! The real travesty is that the ruffian will be rewarded in a way for his actions after what he did to Christoph’s mustache; and I say, here and now, that I will dedicate our next match to Christoph for what he had to endure- (Extant’s eyes go wide and he darts in the other direction)
Wade: (Looking confused) What the He-
CLANG! Kbjone rushes past Wade with a chairshot to the head! “Sorry Wade, couldn’t resist! ‘Sides, you were on my way!” he shouts as he gives chase to Extant!
And now, lets see how the Men with Macklin spent their Holidays:
Mears: Hey, I think I might have been wrong about Noah Vonleh. But I was right about this (double fists two Sierra Nevada’s).
Marv: (Holding the Crestling) Oh heavens, I forgot the diaper bag. (Reaches back)
Oh I had it the whole time. I’m going to watch Batman. Then, in three weeks, I’ll get bored and forget all about it.
Duck: Can I pull of green and white together?
Mears: Lets ask this guy (slams on the breaks and sees a jogger). Excuse me.
Jogger: Yes. What do you want?
Mears: I have a question for you.
Jogger: I don’t have all day you know
Mears: Yeah, neither do I (kicks jogger in the gut and hits him with a stunner before heading back into the truck). He said you could pull off the colors.
Marv: I forgot what we were talking about.
Next week, the Job Mob will be here. This week, they conned Bobby Bayless into another paid week vacation on location in Cabo. And, remember to check that out on Sexy Tanahashi’s Periscope account.
In the back, Peyton_Drinking is watching Petuka as he stretches.
Peyton: Dude, I thought we were looking to challenge for the tag belts soon. So far, the most recent time you challenged for the title was with your former partner! You know, the one that kept hitting me with chairs?
Petuka: Look, I admit that the Future Kings have taken a backburner recently. I agree with you. But if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s people treating me like a joke. I’ve put in too much time and effort for those assholes to-
AndyPG has entered the room, Abeyance behind him. Petuka straightens up.
Andy: John. (They stare for a moment) Look, I know we’re not friends or anything, but I know that we have a common enemy for right now. And I’m willing to put aside everything that happened in the past if we can agree to work together against Kensington. (He sticks out his hand)
Petuka stares at the hand and after a few moments, laughs.
Petuka: You know what, Andy? You’re right. We aren’t friends. I didn’t go out there for you tonight, son. I went out there for me. You don’t think I hear the whispers? You don’t think that I know that some of you think I’m crazy? ‘Ooooh, Petuka’s nuts, thinks he’s gonna main event now’? Yeah, I hear you. I hear all of you. But I wouldn’t have started this whole thing months ago to be a joke, PG. I did it because I knew that I needed to have my goal in front of me, something to work towards, be tangible, be…real. See, AndyPG, you want me to shake your hand? Show you I respect you? (He grabs Andy’s hand) Sure. But don’t think for ONE SECOND that I want to be like you. I don’t have any plans to ethical, or play fair; I’m going to take Kensington down by whatever means necessary. And I’m not going to do it because I think it’s the right thing to do; I’m going to do it because it’s what I NEED. TO. DO. For me. Because at the end of the day, there’s only one guy I look at in the mirror, and that guy needs this. You got me?
AndyPG stares at him for a moment, and shakes his hand.
AndyPG: You ever see Heat, John? Michael Mann movie? Pacino, DeNiro? There’s this scene, only scene where those guys really talk to each other in the whole thing, they’re at this coffee shop. Pacino’s the cop, DeNiro’s the thief. And Pacino says to him that now that’s he’s been face to face, he doesn’t want to kill him, but if he has to, he will. And DeNiro says the same. Well, Petuka, let me leave you with this: I respect you. But in the words of DeNiro, when it comes to the Royal Rumble, “We’ve been face to face, yeah. But I will not hesitate. Not for a second.” (AndyPG goes nose to nose with Petuka) If I have to, John, I will throw your ass over that top rope. (Deep breath) Now then, I’m going to the ring to see if Jef Vinson grew a pair since he ran from me in the parking lot earlier. See you…..John.
Petuka watches Andy go, apprehensively.
Brian has arrived to the theater. He sees Bobby and Hilda, along with the empty chair designated for Gary Strydom:
Brian: So Bobby, when is the movie starting. And who is supposed to be sitting in that chair?
Bobby: Someone with bigger thighs than you, pal!
Brian: What the hell is your obsession with thighs and people’s weight anyway? Its fucking weird. No one cares about that in wrestling, they just want to be entertained with good action and interesting characters.
Hilda: I want pizza
Brian: Ha, I bet.
Bobby: Want to get some dessert pizza?
Hilda: I want both!!!!!!!!
Brian: Lord, give me the strength
AndyPG has hit the ring, and he’s got a mic.
AndyPG: I know this feels like the AndyPG show tonight, but there’s only one last bit of business for me, and that’s you, Vinson! I know you’re back in the arena after you ran from me earlier! If you’ve got a pair, you better get out here and face me!
AndyPG stalks back and forth in the ring….and Jef Vinson appears on the ramp!
Vinson: Andy, Andy, Andy. (Pause) You could have had it all, you know? I was prepared to give you everything that I had ever learned, to pass the torch to you in several years, to make you the next Jef
Vinson. But you threw that away, didn’t you?
Vinson walks towards the ring.
Vinson: See, Andy, I learned a long time ago that most of the time, this business is really a viper pit, and it’s better to be one of the vipers than one of the victims. So yeah, I beat you at TLC. And I took you out afterwards. And I’d do it again.
Andy: (Sadly) What happened to you, Vinson?
Vinson climbs into the ring.
Vinson: I remembered who I was, Andy. And come the Royal Rumble, I’ll be the man again, and I hope that you’re the last guy left that I toss out, PG.
WHAM! Right hand from Vinson and these two are going at it! Rights and lefts are thrown as referees swarm to stop these two, but it doesn’t look like much can! These two want to kill each other, and we’ll leave you tonight as they continue to try to crush each other. The road to the BOD Royal Rumble has begun!
Back in the Theater:
Brian: Well, I dont think Gary Strydom is showing up. Bobby, the show ended so its time to play the movie.
Bobby: Okay, pal.
Brian: Alright, so play it now, the people are expecting it.
Bobby: Fast Eddie said its in the can!
Brian: I get that now its time for it to roll.
Bobby: Sure thing, cuz! (Bobby rolls his Pepsi can down the aisle).
Brian: What are you doing?
Bobby: You said to roll the can
Brian: That an expression for………nevermind. Play the movie or show me where it is so I can do it.
Bobby: That was the movie, it was in the can.
Hilda: Yeah, you dumbass. Dont you even know what soda is
Brian: (muttering under his breath) quiet, you land monster. (Louder) Bobby, where is the movie.
Bobby: (Hands Brian the Pepsi can) Here ya go, pal!
Brian: (irate, 0.8 on the Hoss scale) You shithead! This is a soda can.
Hilda: We know its soda, moron.
Brian: Go order Dominos. (Turns attention to Bobby) How the fuck did you become a millionaire anyway? (cools down a bit) Bobby, the sponsors are going to be livid. What the hell did you do with the film.
Bobby: I brought the can. Maybe you can put it in the DVD player.
Brian: Its liquid you empty-headed dolt. ITs not going to play on a electronical device. Jesus Christ! What movies do you have on you now. We have to play something.
Bobby: I have Grown Ups!
Brian: Well, we are playing that in the timeslot instead.
TUNE INTO NEXT WEEK’S SHOW!!!!!!