The SmarK Rant for Mid South Wrestling – 03.03.86

The SmarK Rant for Mid-South Wrestling – 03.03.86

I don’t even know where to start with all this new content, so let’s just start here.

Taped from Tulsa, OK

Your hosts are Bill & Joel Watts. Bill immediately announces that in two weeks, they will announce a new name for the promotion, which would eventually be the UWF name that should have made them into a contender for #2 promotion before the oil market collapsed and the territory died. For the moment they would switch to Power Pro Wrestling.

Let us take you back to a title v. title match between North American champion Jake Roberts and TV champion Dick Slater, as Slater hits Roberts with a cheapshot off the top and wins both belts.

Meanwhile, Slater retires the TV title by chucking it off a bridge into the river in a bit that WWF would steal 10 years later.

Last week, Jake Roberts faces Terry Taylor to determine the #1 contender to Slater’s title, as Jake DDTs Tayler but is too close to the ropes to pin him. He gets frustrated and misses the kneelift, allowing Taylor to hit him with a small package for the pin.

Terry Taylor v. Mike Scott

Scott is a jobber who looks like Albert but with hair. On his head. Scott attacks and Taylor goes to work on the arm, then hits the Five Arm to finish at 1:24.

Eddie Gilbert v. Koko B. Ware

Eddie offers him a position in Hot Stuff International, but Koko declines and attacks instead. I’m surprised, I’ve heard their drug plan is EXCELLENT. Wink wink. Koko slugs away and works a headlock, but Gilbert hits him behind the ref’s back and goes to work with the dirty tactics. Bill Watts is SICKENED. Atomic drop gets two. Bill clarifies his disgust with Eddie, in that he’s living off a sugar mama and not making his way like a real man. In a different time, Bill notes, he would call Eddie a PUSSY. I believe his sugar mama ended up as Missy Hyatt, by the way. Koko fights back, but Eddie takes him down with a monkey flip out of the corner, only to miss a bodypress, allowing Koko to finish with the missile dropkick at 5:10. Solid TV match. *** Eddie’s thug Taras Bulba attacks afterwards, and Man did Watts love his Wildman Foreign Heels. He would have pushed Rusev to the MOON.

Meanwhile, Jim Ross interviews the Sheepherders, and Bill Watts hates these fuckers too because they’re UNAMERICAN. Bill Watts sure loves him some America. Butch Miller cuts a ranting promo against America and cowards like Dibiase & Doc that is pretty far from the Bushwacker bullshit they would become famous for later.

Gustovo Mendoza & John O’Reilly v. Steve Williams & Ted Dibiase

Doc and Dibiase are the tag champions at this point and what a team that was. Doc overpowers O’Reilly while the Sheepherders dare to parade around the ring with their flag, so Doc destroys Mendoza with the lariat and Oklahoma Stampede at 2:30 to show that supporting other countries is NOT OKAY. Bill Watts is all “Yeah, go get those New Zealand assholes!” That being said, I bet that was a hell of a blowoff. The Sheepherders threaten an attack, but the Rat Pack yells about how awesome the USA is until they back off.

Korchenko v. Ron Ellis

Korchenko is yet another Russian, this one under the umbrella of Eddie Gilbert. I have no idea who he is and don’t care, as he finishes with a piledriver at 1:00.

The Blade Runners v. Steve Doll & Perry Jackson

Jim Hellwig is so bloated at this point that he makes Ultimate Warrior look like Billy Kidman. Like, seriously, he could he even MOVE? Oh wait, he couldn’t, that’s how. So yeah, they dominate with terrible slams and finish at 2:40 with another slam. They were SO BAD.

Ricky Gibson & Tracy Smothers v. Dick Murdoch & The Masked Superstar

Hey, we were just talking about Ricky Gibson in the last WCW rant! Gibson controls both heels with a side headlock as Watts hypes the upcoming Crockett Cup at the Superdome. Apparently VIP ringside seats are $50! That’s outrageous! Why, in my day ringside seats were a NICKEL! And you’d get change back for popcorn. No wonder he went out of business. Smothers tags in while I’m raging about those expensive prices and Superstar quickly puts him away with a clothesline at 2:00. Well that was abrupt.

The Pulse

More of this. All of this. Keep it coming, WWE Network.