Rock Star Gary reflects on…Saturday Night’s Main Event V

Taped from Phoenix, AZ

Airdate: March 1, 1986 (taped 2/15)

Attendance:  12,000

Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura

This reflection is sponsored by Hot Pockets. Thanks, WWE Network!

“Mean” Gene Okerlund stands by Clubber Lang Mr. T as the latter works the punching bag. In typical Mr. T fashion, he wasn’t very kind to Okerlund.

Prior to the first match, a segment of Piper’s Pit is shown (aired 2/22, taped 1/28) where Hogan accepted a challenge on behalf of Mr. T to face Orton here at SNME.

At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Piper with Orton.

Backstage, Okerlund interviews Mr. T. According to Mr. T, “Rocky III was just a movie…and (he’s) going to slaughter “Battling” Bob Orton.” Yikes!

Match 1 (boxing): “Cowboy Battling” Bob Orton (w/ “Rowdy” Roddy Piper) versus Mr. T

Highlights:

  • “Real American” brought the A-Team star to the ring.
  • Before the bell, as Mr. T was kneeling in his corner, Orton struck him from behind.
  • Ventura chastised McMahon about using his Irish card with respect to boxing. 1986 truly was a different time.
  • Thumb In the eye by Orton put a halt to the bout. I wish they would call it now.
  • After the bell rang to end the first round, Orton nailed Mr. T with a cheap shot sending referee Jack Lutz on top of him.
  • Pardon the pun, but Mr. T began to tee off on Orton so Piper got up on the apron.
  • With Piper distracting Lutz, Orton put a knee in Mr. T’s midsection.
  • Orton held Mr. T for Piper to nail him, but T ducked. Consequently, Piper nailed Orton.
  • Immediately afterwards, Mr. T nailed Piper.
  • A left hand by Mr. T sent Orton over the top rope down to the concrete floor.
  • T won by countout.

Rating: NONE

Summary: Rigged faux boxing matches aren’t my style. Moving along.

After the match, Piper comes into the ring and spits at Mr. T. He then removes his shirt and kilt to challenge Mr. T. Just as Mr. T is about to start boxing with Piper, Orton puts a well-placed knee into Mr. T’s back. SNEAKY! They double-team Mr. T then Piper whips him with his belt.

At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Mr. T. According to Mr. T. “I’m gonna get (Piper)!”

Prior to the next match, Okerlund interviews Bundy with Heenan. Bundy wants Hogan. Hold the mayo!

Match 2: Steve Gatorwolf versus King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan)

Highlights:

  • Bundy attacked Gatorwolf at the onset.
  • After giving Gatorwolf a cross-corner whip, Bundy hit the avalanche.
  • 1-2-3.
  • Bundy wanted a five count and got it.

Rating:  DUD

Summary: This match was here merely to prove Bundy’s presence here in Phoenix.

After the match, Bundy snatches the microphone from ring announcer Howard Finkel yelling that he wants Hogan. He reiterated: “Hold the MAY-O!”

At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Muraco. The latter states that Mr. Fuji “has come down with the flu” and won’t be in Muraco’s corner. But, according to Muraco, Heenan will be his manager for the title match. Something’s afoot. I can smell it.

Back in the locker room, Mr. Fuji has an ice pack on his head and a hot water bottle on his stomach. In the meantime, Fuji is still wearing his top hat. HA!

At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Hogan. The champion believes that something is “fishy.” That ain’t mackerel, Hulkster!

Match 3 for the WWF World title: Hulk Hogan (champion) versus the Magnificent Muraco (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan)

Highlights:

  • This match was the first instance where “Real American” was used as Hogan’s theme. The WWE Network should have used SOMETHING different in previous episodes so that this moment didn’t become meaningless.
  • Muraco raked his nails across Hogan’s back.
  • Hogan reversed a cross-corner whip and gave Muraco a back drop.
  • Turnabout is fair play as Hogan raked Muraco’s back.
  • Heenan jumped up on the apron only for Hogan to nail him.
  • After giving Muraco a cross-corner whip, Hogan delivered a clothesline on his follow-through.
  • Muraco fell face-first to the mat.
  • Atomic drop by Hogan sent Muraco over the top rope down to the concrete floor.
  • Hogan followed Muraco and rammed him face-first into the apron.
  • Back in the ring, a right hand got a 2 count for Hogan.
  • After an Irish whip, Hogan applied the bear hug.
  • Head butt by Muraco broke the hold.
  • Standing leg drop by Muraco as he worked on Hogan’s ribs.
  • Asian spike by Muraco was followed by a knee lift.
  • A second knee lift preceded an elbow drop.
  • After giving Hogan a side Russian leg sweep, Muraco mounted the second turnbuckle and hit another Asian spike.
  • Upon kicking out of a pin attempt, it was Hulk-up time!
  • Hogan gave Muraco a cross-corner whip and followed up with a back elbow.
  • Big boot.
  • Leg drop.
  • Heenan came into the ring and kicked Hogan.
  • Hogan won by DQ.

Rating: ***

Summary:  Muraco held his own with the champ here, but Heenan’s managing him for a reason. What could that reason possibly be?

After the match, Hogan lifts Heenan up in a choke until Bundy hits the ring and delivers a double axe handle to Hogan’s back. A-ha! While Muraco held Hogan in the corner, Bundy unloads with an avalanche. After tossing referee Dave Hebner outside the ring, Bundy hits avalanches #2 and 3. With Hogan down on the mat, Muraco brings him to the center of the ring. Bundy then splashes Hogan. After Muraco turns Hogan over, Bundy splashes Hogan’s back. The WWF Champion is a mass of jelly as the British Bulldogs and Pedro Morales come to his aid.

After a commercial break, Hogan was removed from the ring via stretcher. Once Hogan is loaded into an ambulance, Gorilla Monsoon accompanies him.

Prior to the next match, Okerlund interviews the tag team champions at the entrance.

Highlights from a non-title match (aired, 2/1, taped 1/7) where the British Bulldogs defeated the Dream Team are shown.

Match 4 for the WWF tag team titles: The Dream Team (champions w/ “Luscious” Johnny Valiant) versus the British Bulldogs (w/ Capt. Lou Albano)

Highlights:

  • Atomic drop by Smith sent Valentine into a Dynamite Kid head butt.
  • A head butt by Smith sent Valentine face-first to the mat.
  • With Valentine on the apron, Smith suplexed him back into the ring.
  • Double shoulder block by the Bulldogs followed by a Dynamite Kid head butt sent Valentine face-first to the mat again.
  • Military press slam by Smith got 2.
  • Belly-to-back suplex by the Dynamite Kid and a diving head butt got another 2.
  • Dynamite Kid mounted the second turnbuckle and delivered a flying knee drop.
  • After a battle of forearms with Valentine, Smith gave him a dropkick.
  • Inside cradle by Smith only got 2.
  • The Dynamite Kid tagged back in but received an inverted atomic drop.
  • A standoff between the managers occurred outside the ring causing all four combatants to aid their respective mentor.
  • After a commercial break, Smith tagged back in and gave Beefcake a missile dropkick.
  • Splash by Smith got 2 on Beefcake.
  • Valentine tagged back in and locked the figure-four leg lock on Smith.
  • Dynamite Kid ran in and gave Valentine a leg drop much to Ventura’s chagrin. As much as I admire Ventura’s complaint about cheating, each team was permitted one save per match.
  • After giving Dynamite an elbow to the head, Valentine mounted the second turnbuckle and delivered a flying elbow drop.
  • Upon making the cover, Valentine only got 2.
  • Shoulder breaker by Valentine got another 2 count.
  • Huge stomp by Beefcake got yet another 2 count.
  • Valentine tagged back in, dropped the hammer, and got…another 2? Wow!
  • A second figure-four leg lock was attempted by Valentine but thwarted by the Dynamite Kid. His kick sent Valentine head-first into the top turnbuckle.
  • Valentine climbed the turnbuckles, but the Dynamite Kid caught him and brought him down the hard way.
  • The Dynamite Kid mounted the top turnbuckle, hit a missile dropkick, and got…a 2 count! Valentine put his foot on the bottom rope.
  • Running clothesline by the Dynamite Kid only got 2.
  • Snap suplex by the Dynamite Kid received no count due to Beefcake’s save.
  • Smith entered the ring and gave Beefcake a dropkick sending him to the concrete floor.
  • Shoulder block by Valentine to the Dynamite Kid knocked both men out.
  • Valentine’s leg covered the Dynamite Kid, so referee Dave Hebner counted 1-2-3.
  • The champs retained.

Rating: ****

Summary:  Excellent tag match that made the audience crave more. I smell an upcoming rematch.

After the match, Beefcake tries to help Valentine regain consciousness.

At the hospital, Okerlund states that cameras and microphones are not permitted in the emergency department; however, as soon as he receives word about Hogan, he’ll pass it along. Thanks, Gene!

Video promoting Rick Derringer’s “Real American” which was given to Hulk Hogan after Barry Windham left the WWF. The video contains Hogan playing the bass guitar along with historic and patriotic elements as well as great Hogan moments in the WWF. To say this video was cheesy would be an insult to the proud cheesemakers in Wisconsin.

Earlier tonight, Okerlund interviewed the Adorable One with Hart. Adonis bleached his hair blond, put holiday bows in it, and wore some pastel sashes. His effeminate mannerisms were over-the-top as well. According to Hart, they have a big surprise for JYD in their upcoming match.

Match 5: Junkyard Dog versus “Adorable” Adrian Adonis (w/ Jimmy Hart)

Highlights:

  • Oh my! An ignorant fan brought a “Junk the fag” sign that was opposite the hard camera. Methinks the WWF (or at least the WWE Network) could have blurred that derogatory sign.
  • JYD backed Adonis in a corner and tossed him using Adonis’ sashes.
  • Cross-corner whip by JYD sent Adonis shoulder-first into the ring post.
  • Head butt by JYD tied Adonis up in the ropes.
  • With Adonis on the apron, JYD brought him in the hard way.
  • Clothesline by JYD resulted in a 360° sell by Adonis. Nice!
  • In addition, it got a 2 count.
  • After ringing Adonis’ bell, JYD received an effeminate slap.
  • JYD reversed a cross-corner whip causing Adonis to flip over the turnbuckle and land on the concrete floor.
  • As Hart consoled his protégé, JYD gave him a head butt sending both Hart and Adonis backwards into the steel railing.
  • With JYD pulling Adonis back into the ring, he dragged Hart in as well in a tug-o’-war battle.
  • After giving Adonis a head butt, JYD went after Hart.
  • Upon whipping him into Adonis, both Hart and Adonis fell over the top rope down to the concrete floor.
  • Right hand by JYD only got 2 because Adonis put his lavender boot on the second rope.
  • As Hebner checked on Adonis, Hart tripped JYD sending him face-first to the mat.
  • While Adonis manhandled Hebner, Hart tied JYD to the bottom rope.
  • Hart nailed JYD while Adonis kept distracting Hebner.
  • To stop Adonis from choking JYD, Hebner grabbed two hands of Adonis’ blond hair. Nah-uh-uh!
  • Adonis hit a running knee drop but only got 2.
  • Piledriver attempt went awry as JYD’s legs knocked down Hebner.
  • Hart got up on the apron and held out his megaphone. JYD reversed an Irish whip sending Adonis head-first into the megaphone.
  • 1-2-3.
  • JYD won.

Rating: *

Summary:  This was definitely more sports-entertainment rather than technique. Adonis’ character did its job as he played an effeminate bitch to perfection.

After the match, JYD goes after Hart, but Adonis grabs Hart’s megaphone and wallops JYD in the back sending him between the ropes to the concrete floor. Upon hearing ring announcer Howard Finkel’s closing, Adonis throws a temper tantrum. Perhaps he needs this.

Back at the hospital, Okerlund interviews Dr. Ponovich regarding Hogan’s condition. According to the doctor, Hogan has sustained injuries to his lower back, neck, and ribs. Further investigation via X-ray will offer the doctor more information.

To finish the show, we recap the boxing match as Ventura applauds the flogging. We then revisit the destruction of Hogan by Bundy. According to Vince, Hogan’s leaving the hospital soon and won’t let anyone down. Ventura chimes in “(Hogan) has more guts than…brains.” HA!

Conclusion:  Well, this show’s job was to set up WrestleMania II. With the boxing match and the two title matches, the WWF accomplished its job well. If you need the angles/matches that set up the big show, then this show provides worthwhile entertainment for you. The tag match is a definite must-see, so I can’t advise skipping this show.

See you for WrestleMania II!

TV Rating: 10.00

Comments? Suggestions? Send them to me at [email protected] and follow me on Twitter (@rockstargary202). And be sure to check out all of my reflections at rockstargary.com.