The SmarK Rant for WCCW–12.15.82

The SmarK Rant for WCCW – 12.15.82

Serious question: Does the appearance of Gorilla City push The Flash into the territory of greatest thing to ever appear on television? Or just ONE of the greatest?

Taped from Dallas, TX

Your host is Bill Mercer

Brian Adidas v. Killer Tim Brooks

Brooks looks like a biker that the Von Erichs dragged out of a bar while on a bender. Or maybe a Wyatt Family uncle. He was also a guy in Georgia for a while and I seem to recall him being involved in some angle with Ted Dibiase stealing the Georgia title or something. It’s been a long time and I’m old. Just to clear something up for people who were discussing it in the comments of the last show, Brian Adias went by “Brian Adidas” until about 1985, at which point he turned heel and started using his real name. They trade armbars to start and Brooks takes him down with some RASSLIN’ before showing his true colors and raking the eyes to take over. Adidas slugs back, but Brooks cradles him for the pin on the ropes at 5:57. Well that was abrupt. Thankfully, world’s worst referee Bronco Lubich comes out and sets things straight, and the decision is reversed. Well really Brooks didn’t do anything to get disqualified, they should have just restarted the match. I should totally be the tough-but-fair authority figure on this show. *1/2

Gary Hart and his associate Armand Hussein comment on the whole David Von Erich situation, and Hart asks Hussein some hilariously leading questions while pretending to act as a serious interviewer. Apparently the Von Erich sleeper is nothing but a common CHOKE. And it’s “Good night, sweet Lucy” for him when Great Kabuki gets done with him.

David Von Erich cuts his promo in response and he’s very offended that anyone would question the authenticity and righteousness of his sleeper hold, because it’s goddamn great! Also, he’s probably coked out of his mind, but that’s baseless speculation on my part.

Bugsy McGraw & Al Madril v. The Magic Dragon & The Checkmate

They seem to do a lot of these tag matches at this point. Madril trades hammerlocks with the Dragon while Bugsy is off in space on the apron, and Checkmate gets caught in the babyface corner before running away like a good coward. This allows him to take over after a cheapshot from behind, and Dragon comes in and works Madril’s arm. And Madril just sells and sells and sells in the corner before making his comeback and it’s hot tag Bugsy. Now there’s a guy made for getting the hot tag. Bugsy runs wild and we get a clever finish with Bugsy doing a sunset flip on the Dragon, Checkmate running in for the save, and then Madril coming off the top with a sunset flip on HIM for the pin at 9:00. That was pretty inventive, actually. **

Meanwhile, the other guys in the promotion give their opinions on who will win between Ric Flair and Kerry Von Erich, and we get a replay of the Fritz/Flair confrontation from last week.

ALL-ASIAN title: The Great Kabuki v. David Von Erich

Kabuki has the awesome responsibility of repping all of the Asian continent on his shoulders here, so it’s a good thing he’s not just the Mediocre Kabuki or the Acceptable Kabuki. David is the house of fire right away, but Kabuki uses the MARTIAL ARTS to take over and goes to the dreaded Japanese Titty Twister. David counters with the Psychic Surgery Stomach Claw, and then Kabuki counters THAT with the trump card, the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. David fights out with a kneelift and gets the Iron Claw while I research whether this “All Asian heavyweight championship” was something that actually existed. Kabuki uses the GREEN KOOL-AID OF DEATH to escape the claw and David bails, allowing Kabuki to take over in the ring. Armand Hussein tries to interfere, but Kabuki mists him by mistake and the ref calls for the DQ at 8:56. As you should well be aware, the All Asian title cannot change hands on a DQ. Mostly because there’s no record of any actual title existing. *1/2

Next week: Star Wars parts one and two, leading up to Kerry Von Erich v. Ric Flair and the match that CHANGES WRESTLING. For reals.