Monday Nitro #246
Date: June 26, 2000
Location: Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden
Russo is still gone over his latest backstage issue (something involving talent being moved around against his wishes), meaning we might be in for something watchable again tonight. We’re coming up on Bash at the Beach (where the watchableness ends) and the top matches of Hogan vs. Jarrett for the title and Nash vs. Goldberg for Hall’s contract (which was eaten one night and totally fine two nights later). Let’s get to it.
Quick recap of last week to open things up. Sign of the recent times: this made sense!
Cat is talking with his limo driver.
Here’s Cat to open things up, after walking past a fan flipping him off. Bash at the Beach is going to be a great show when Jarrett beats Hogan and Goldberg finally gets rid of Scott Hall. I agree, he’s been such a nuisance lately. As for tonight, there’s a four corners match for the World Title. Again, WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING JARRETT DEFEND THE TITLE??? It doesn’t make sense! There will be two qualifying matches with Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome and Scott Steiner vs. Shane Douglas. The third challenger will be Goldberg who gets a bye.
This brings out…..Jim Duggan? He’s been sitting in the back long enough and now it’s time for him to stand up for the heroes around here. Duggan wants Goldberg tonight to beat some sense back into him and turn him into the man he used to be. The match is on and Duggan says that despite his health issues, Cat is going to have to explain why old Hacksaw is WCW World Champion. It’s cool to see Duggan back, but this would have been a way to give someone a rub by having them call out Goldberg.
Shane isn’t happy with his match tonight.
Kanyon is holding a book signing but no one has shown up. I’d have gone.
Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak vs. Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera
This is the start of one of the last eras in WCW as they FINALLY tried to infuse some new talent, albeit a year or two late. Before the match, Konnan talks about cranberries and Disco repeats what he can understand. Jindrak and O’Haire are both about 6’5 and throw Juvy around with ease. A half scoop/half gorilla press sends Juvy flying and a big clothesline drops him again.
Jindrak misses a splash and a Mysterio clothesline sends him into a sunset flip fro Juvy. What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt has Mark in even more trouble. Sean gets knocked off the apron but Jindrak ducks so Rey and Juvy dropkick each other. O’Haire comes in with a top rope double clothesline and a double suplex drops the Animals again. A tilt-a-whirl slam from Jindrak sets up a swanton bomb (later the Seanton Bomb) from O’Haire for the huge upset pin on Juvy.
Rating: C-. WHERE WAS THIS TWO YEARS AGO??? This is what’s so frustrating about WCW: they clearly know how to solve these problems and give a new team a good rub but they would rather all the young people fight each other while the old talent sits on their mountaintop. Jindrak and O’Haire weren’t the Dudleyz or the Hardyz but they were young, in good shape and won clean. That’s more than most young guys can say they’ve accomplished in years in WCW so they’re off to a good start.
Post match the Animals beat down the rookies until Lance Storm makes the save.
Cat tells the Animals to find Storm and bring him to the office.
Duggan’s wife can’t talk him out of the match.
Video on Big Vito.
Here’s Big Vito with two kendo sticks and an open challenge. No word on if this is for the title.
Big Vito vs. Jamie-San
Jamie gets beaten down with one of the sticks to start so Yang comes in to help. That earns him a beating as well so Kaz has to come in with a missile dropkick. The Dragons start triple teaming with kicks and Jamie adds a flapjack. A moonsault, missile dropkick and high cross body set up a triple guillotine legdrop to leave Vito laying. No referee so no match but was there a need to crush a champion like that?
Terry Funk offers Johnny the Bull a pep talk in the form of a chair to the back. A friendly chair to the back that is.
The Perfect Event goes into the production truck but Woody Woodpecker (guy from Thunder) leaves instead of dealing with them again.
Shane asks Big Smooth (the limo driver’s name) to get him out of here but Smooth has an idea.
The Filthy Animals play Scooby and the Gang to look for Storm.
Tank Abbott is watching in the back with the face of a thirteen year old girl. 3 Count comes to the ring to their new song, prompting Tank to dance all over the place. The music cuts off though and Tank is MAD. Woody comes up to say it was the Perfect Event (that’s VERY convenient timing) so Tank storms the production truck and drags them to the ring. Since he’s Tank Abbott, they’re defending the titles right now.
Tag Team Titles: Perfect Event vs. 3 Count
Karagias is the odd man out here. 3 Count starts fast with some dives over the top before Palumbo takes a Samoan drop/neckbreaker combo. Stasiak comes in with a cheap shot and the champs take over with a bunch of stomping in the corner, though it’s no Unicorn Stampede. A shoulder from Palumbo gets two on Helms and we get a lot more stomping.
Stasiak’s powerbomb is countered into a DDT and it’s off to Moore for some house cleaning. Shannon tries a high cross body but dives into a fall away slam from Palumbo. Heel miscommunication and Moore grabs a quick hurricanrana but there’s no referee. The exercise bar from Palumbo knocks Moore out and a double flapjack retains the titles.
Rating: D+. Well at least a young team won. With O’Haire and Jindrak debuting earlier, there’s actually something resembling a youth movement but at the same time, I have no reason to believe that these guys are going anywhere near the main event. I don’t know why I should think otherwise as it never happens around here, which is part of why this company is in the place it’s in. At least we’re getting something new though and I’ll take that over Bagwell and Douglas as champions all day.
Kronik comes out to clean house. As they leave, 3 Count wants to sing but Kronik chases them off. This brings out Tank to lay Adams out and it’s time for a dance party. Tank sucks in the ring but he’s way too entertaining in this role.
Juvy gets knocked out from behind. We can’t see who did it.
Duggan tells his wife that he’s ready and knows he can beat Goldberg.
Kanyon now has a line of people. His secret: free booze.
Video on Jim Duggan’s recovery from cancer and his return to the ring. That’s always cool to hear.
World Title Qualifying Match: Goldberg vs. Jim Duggan
The referee has to duck Duggan’s swinging flag. Before the match, Cat says there’s no interference and no 2×4 allowed. Again: that’s normal, not some special rule. Tony rips on Cat for making this a “level playing field”. That’s exactly what he’s doing Tony, you miserable schmuck.
Duggan hammers away to start and the fans are actually way into this until Goldberg takes him down with a clothesline. They head outside with Duggan going head first into the post, followed by a kidney shot. Duggan’s goofy eyes bug out as he escapes a chinlock and he hits a big slam, which is no sold because it’s just a slam. Spear and Jackhammer end Jim quick.
Rating: D-. This was an idea but they were smart to keep it short. Duggan is one of the old school goofy guys who can do whatever he want and still get cheered so having Goldberg out there beating him up is at least trying something. At the end of the day though, this heel turn is a disaster as the fans simply do not want to boo Goldberg, no matter what he does.
Goldberg hits him in the kidneys to try to get people booing, which works as well as anything else has.
A lot of people are freaked out over Duggan.
Duggan is loaded into an ambulance and Nash promises to stop Goldberg.
World Title Qualifying Match: Kevin Nash vs. Mike Awesome
Nash is so ticked off that he absorbs some punches and suplexes out of a headlock. Oh man he’s so mad that he’s trying to wrestle. I’ve heard of this kind of anger before but I’ve never actually seen it. Nash takes over in the corner and gets into his normal rhythm with knees and a crotch chop in the corner, followed by a framed elbow. Awesome comes back with some clotheslines and the Awesome splash for two, only to have the Awesome Bomb broken up. They head outside with Nash firing off more elbows until a low blow stops him cold. It’s chair time but Awesome gets it kicked into his face for a quick pin.
Rating: D. The anger stuff was good for all of fifteen seconds and then it was your standard Nash match. Remember when Awesome jumped to WCW like two months ago and this looked like it could have been a big feud for him? Well now he’s jobbing to Nash in three and a half minutes as we wait on his next ambulance match because that’s his thing now.
Konnan gets laid out too.
World Title Qualifying Match: Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell
Non-title of course. At least it’s not Luger vs. Bagwell. It’s a pose down to start so Steiner flips him off. Buff avoids a charge in the corner and grabs a quick neckbreaker. Tony says you have to stay out of the Recliner. Since it’s banned and would cause a DQ, wouldn’t you want to get caught in it? Steiner comes back with the Tree of Woe choke but Buff escapes the Recliner. It doesn’t seem that the referee knows the difference in the rules either. Most of the Blockbuster gets two but Steiner grabs a belly to belly for the pin. At least they didn’t go against continuity with the finish.
Rating: D+. Not the worst match here for the shortened time but it’s still Scott Steiner vs. Buff Bagwell. Maybe I’m just burned out on all the WCW nonsense over the last few months. Bagwell clearly didn’t have a chance but at least they didn’t go with anything overly stupid and long.
They shake hands post match and Steiner leaves, allowing Shane to come in for a cheap shot. Steiner runs back in for the save.
Jeff Jarrett doesn’t have much to say besides Slap Nuts.
Hancock leaves David’s dressing room and blows him a kiss. Daffney was watching.
Here’s Miss Hancock for her weekly dancing. This brings out Daffney for the catfight but she takes a shoe to the face. Hancock leaves as Daffney says she’s going to ruin Hancock’s life, starting at Bash at the Beach.
The Animals have a meeting to calm things down.
Booker comes up to the book signing and asks Kanyon to sign his brick. The beatdown is on with Kanyon going through a table. As CM Punk would later say: “Security around here sucks.”
Miss Hancock wants the match with Daffney to be an evening gown match. Pamela seems intrigued by this.
Here’s Disco Inferno with his own referee to call out Lance Storm. He doesn’t know if Storm is stupid or Canadian, but Storm can’t just run out here whenever he wants. Storm comes through the crowd and we’re off.
Lance Storm vs. Disco Inferno
A superkick drops Inferno and a great looking dropkick does the same. Storm goes up but gets crotched, allowing Disco to grab a running neckbreaker for two. They botch something and Storm misses a dropkick. Back up and a standing hurricanrana gets two and he easily blocks the Last Dance, setting up the half crab for the win. Too short to rate but Storm looked awesome.
The Filthy Animals come out to attack Storm but Kidman makes the save with a lead pipe. It’s implied that Kidman was the attacker earlier in the night.
Torborg goes into a dark room. I really don’t want to see what develops.
After a break, Vampiro attacks Torborg from behind but Torborg swings a shovel at him. Vampiro kicks him down and then into a coffin. He closes the lid but then opens it up to yell at Torborg some more. Someone comes up from behind and hits Vampiro before putting a Sting mask on him. You mean he’s not even going to be out until the next pay per view? And didn’t Vampiro have a master he was answering to?
Konnan wants to fight Storm and Kidman on Thunder. I don’t see this ending well.
WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Before Nash comes out we cut to the back to see Goldberg standing over Nash’s unconscious body. The bell rings with Jarrett attacking Steiner in the aisle until they get to the ring where Steiner takes over. Jeff gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a kick to the ribs and here’s Goldberg. Steiner takes a gorilla press into a powerslam but the spear hits post.
The champ has to pull the referee out at two. The fans FINALLY think Goldberg sucks as Steiner gets double teamed. An AA sets up a cross armbreaker from Goldberg with the referee finally remembering to ask if Steiner gives up. Cue Mike Awesome to steal the US Title from Midajah.
Steiner makes his comeback and beats both guys down until Awesome pulls him to the floor for a belt shot. Nash comes back and beats up Jarrett. Awesome takes a powerbomb and Nash keeps cleaning house because he’s Kevin Nash. Goldberg gets in a quick superkick to knock Nash silly though, allowing Jeff to get the pin to retain. It’s made clear that Goldberg didn’t care about the title.
Rating: D. That’s probably being nice too. They kept this one as short as they could and somehow only had three people in the ring for most of the match. It’s nice that they had a concept at the start of the show and actually paid it off though, which is such a huge upgrade over what I’ve been sitting through. Bad match of course because most of these guys are brawlers who rarely go more than five minutes but again: you could tell what was going on and that’s a big step up.
Goldberg pulls out Hall’s contract and destroys it (again) to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Again: set up an idea, pay the idea off. These shows aren’t advancing anything as Hogan is still looming and as usual can’t be bothered to show up to build a match but they’re WAY better than having the usual insanity and Russo worship that we’ve seen for what feels like years now. I’ll take a run of the mill dull show over that maddening stuff for weeks on end but Bash at the Beach scares the heck out of me.
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