The SmarK Rant for WCCW – 12.10.82
Taped from Dallas, TX
Your host is Bill Mercer
King Kong Bundy is disgusted that a scrawny weasel like Kevin Von Erich is running around with the American heavyweight title, and he’ll beat him to earn a title shot tonight.
The Spoiler v. Jose Lothario
Mercer speculates that Spoiler’s aggressive attitude last week mean an alliance with Gary Hart again. SPOILER: He was right. I should note that Lothario is apparently the “Mexican Brass Knuckles champion” at this point, which pretty much makes you the toughest son of a bitch alive. Also, he has horseshoes on his ass, so he must also be REALLY lucky. That’s a dangerous combination. Spoiler pounds away in the corner and does some nefarious hair-pulling to really sell the heel turn, but Jose keeps fighting back. Now, legally speaking, does the Brass Knuckles title allow you to pull out a pair of said knuckles at whatever point you’d like and use them? Because that would be a pretty awesome advantage to have, although a grossly unfair one. Jose keeps doing his comeback spots, but Spoiler walks the ropes to take control and chokes away on the ropes. Mercer describes Spoiler as a “well conditioned slab of a man”, which is pretty darn accurate. Lothario keeps fighting back while Spoiler constantly cheats to foil him, but now Jose goes to the knee in a smart strategy and works the leg over. They fight on the ring apron and the ref counts them both out at 6:19. Not much to this one. *1/2
Meanwhile, David Manning discusses the revolving door of special referees for the upcoming Kerry v. Flair match, as NWA board members just can’t agree on who the heck should be the second referee to prevent interference. So they picked four names and put it to a vote, and Michael Hayes was picked by a large majority. Well, good to know we won’t have any refereeing controversy!
Meanwhile, Gary Hart is talking about his masked six-man team, but the King Kong Bundy invasion continues as he butts into the interview with his new crew, because everyone wants to win the tournament for those six-man titles.
Checkmate, Magic Dragon & Great Kabuki v. Brian Adidas, Bugsy McGraw & Al Madril
This is part of a tournament to crown the first champions, a title that ended up driving business in the territory for years to come. Adidas trades wristlocks with Kabuki to start, but he gets caught in the heel corner and worked over. Dragon, however, gets caught by the babyfaces and they work him over. See, now Bugsy is a character where JBL could do his whole “HE’S HAVING FUN OUT THERE, MAGGLE! HE’S FUN TO WATCH!” deal and it would fit with the character. Adidas, as usual, is pretty useless and he gets thumped by Checkmate as the heels work his knee, but quickly the other faces have had enough and clear the ring. Bronco Lubich is just the worst referee ever. He’s got no control out there and can barely get down to count. You think Tommy Young would put up with that kind of shenanigans? So poor Adidas gets beat up some more, but he makes the tag to Madril and Al runs wild and gets a flying shoulderblock on Kabuki for two. Bugsy gets a hot tag and quickly has his comeback foiled, but he makes a Hogan-like comeback on Dragon (suspiciously Hogan-like in fact), but Checkmate catches him with a cheapshot and works the back over. This match doesn’t really feel like it’s going anywhere. Back to Adidas and he takes another one-sided beating, but comes back with a sunset flip on the Dragon for two. Finally one last head kick from Kabuki ends it at 11:18. Pretty average stuff. **1/2
Meanwhile, we get an interview with Fritz Von Erich and Ric Flair, supposedly by satellite feed but clearly they’re in the same room but with two different cameras. Mercer asks Flair to admit that he put out a bounty on the Von Erichs, and Flair ducks the question and goes off on a crazy rant about how rich and good-looking he is. Fritz cuts his own pissed-off promo and Flair goes on another coked-up run and storms off. Kinda made me want to see Flair v. Fritz, actually. You can actually see Flair’s half of the studio on the right side of the screen when Fritz ends his own segment.
Kevin Von Erich v. King Kong Bundy
Kevin’s pre-match promo notes that Bundy has a “big fat mouth to go with his big fat belly”. Ouch. If I was Bundy I would have been like “Yeah, well, all your brothers are dead a few years from now, jerk!” That would show him. I like Bundy improved a lot as a character when he learned that white boots do not go with the plain black singlet. Kevin tries to overpower Bundy, but gets nowhere and Bundy quickly hits a corner splash. Kevin throws knees in the corner and goes for a claw, but the ref breaks them up. Bundy tries a chinlock and Kevin rolls him over into another claw, but there’s a lot of big fat Bundy head there and he can’t get a good grip. Bundy retreats and pounds away in the corner to take over, then goes to the dreaded bearhug until Kevin elbows out. Bundy with a slam for two. Bundy with an extended chinlock but you just can’t kill the spirits of the crazed Von Erich fans in the Sportatorium, as they won’t shut up. Kevin makes the comeback and the ref gets bumped with a dramatic vault over the top rope. Bundy tosses Kevin over the top for what should be a DQ, but there’s no ref, so Bundy is able to suplex a dazed Kevin back in and pin him at 9:07. Great heat for this one. **3/4
Three decent matches, but nothing off the charts exciting or anything. Check out the amusing sight of Fritz Von Erich trying to keep up with Ric Flair in a promo battle and losing badly, however.