Slammiversary 2015

Slammiversary
2015
Date:
June 28, 2015
Location:
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators:
Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Mike Tenay
Reviewed by Tommy Hall

This
should be an interesting one as the company has already taped the
next month’s worth of TV before this show, but at the same time
there’s some interesting stuff going on here too. The main event (in
theory) is the King of the Mountain match with Jeff Jarrett returning
for one more match (allegedly). Let’s get to it.

We
open with the highlight package over the years. Of course this means
mainly focusing on Sting, Hogan and Angle.
X-Division
Title: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno
Tigre
is defending in an elimination match with Tigre starting fast until
he sends everyone to the floor for a big dive. Back in and Manik
slams the champ down and we hit a chinlock, basically defeating the
purpose of the entire division. DJZ tries to break up a springboard
and eats a dropkick to the face for his efforts. Serves him right.
Back in and Manik knees DJZ in the face because he’s still not over
that broken springboard.
Manik
suplexes the champ down but it’s DJZ coming back in with some nice
flips and a wristdrag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. A
running double knee puts all three guys down and Dinero drops a
Contra Code reference. It’s DJZ up first with a modified Tower of
Doom as he hits a Sliced Bread off an electric chair, only to have
Tigre nail him in the face and hit a twisting split legged moonsault
for the elimination at 9:45. Pope referred to it as a move that is
difficult to describe.
The
champ misses a top rope stomp but gets his knees up to block a
splash. His rollup gets two and Manik hits a nice twisting chest
buster, followed by a frog splash for two. There’s nothing going on
between these spots. Back up and Tigre mostly misses a corkscrew
moonsault but it’s enough to put Manik away and retain the title at
12:09.
Rating:
C. This was the spotiest
spotfest that I’ve seen since…..well since the last Ring of Honor
show I saw. Again, there’s no story or reason to have this match
other than to say “hey here’s an X-Division Title match”. Tigre
is fine as a high flying champion, but they need a story to give us a
reason to care about the guy.
Robbie
E. says tonight is serious. He’s been here five years (not quite)
and it’s time to stop the dancing and being a goof.
We
recap the BroMans’ split, which is all about Jesse claiming that it
was his work that made the team a success.
Robbie
E. vs. Jesse Godderz
Jesse
is officially “The Man”. Before
the match they keep up the stalling with Jesse bragging about his
success as the fans let him know that they don’t care. Robbie, with
new music, cuts him off and beats Jesse up at ringside before doing
the same inside. A big backdrop sets up a dive onto Jesse as this is
all E. so far.
Godderz
finally hits a powerslam on the floor but can’t get Robbie up for
what looked like a gutwrench suplex. Instead
a backbreaker gets two and we hit the bearhug on Robbie. That
goes as far as a bearhug is going to go in 2015 and Robbie comes back
with a middle rope cross body.
E.
wins a slugout but gets caught in a buckle bomb, only to have a
double clothesline put both guys down. This
time Jesse’s regular powerbomb gets two and the Adonis Lock (Boston
crab) goes on, only to have Robbie make the ropes without
too much effort. Robbie
comes right back with a reverse DDT for a quick pin at 11:18.
Rating:
C-. The match was decent enough
with Jesse working on the back and then they just went to the finish
out of nowhere. Jesse’s push is now a big waste but at least they’re
giving someone young like Robbie a nice push. Now to be fair I can’t
imagine them doing anything with it and there’s probably going to be
a rematch, which is actually match #5, but this wasn’t the most
interesting thing in the world. Technically fine, but the story is
nothing all that entertaining.
Matt
Hardy says he’ll win tonight.
Bram
vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan
returned as a surprise on Wednesday. Before the match, Matt wants it
to be a street fight and Bram is all like “Okey dokey”, but with
a British accent. Morgan
runs him over to start and they head to the floor to actually make it
a fight. Bram comes back with his big metal hook to take over,
followed by some trashcan shots to the head. Back
in as this match is clearly just more filler.
Morgan
calls for a chokeslam but opts to Carbon Footprint a trashcan into
Bram’s face. The big man can’t follow up though so Bram goes around
the ring to look for a special weapon. He
FINALLY
picks a few chairs but gets chokeslammed onto one of them for two.
That’s it for Morgan though
as the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gives Bram the pin
at 9:30.
Rating:
D+. Well at least they didn’t
job Bram. I guess the
blueprint part is just physical because this would be REALLY STUPID
for Morgan to pick as a stipulation. The
match was your standard hardcore brawl as this show continues to feel
like a house show that they taped and aired here. Morgan looked fine
but I don’t expect him to be back longer than maybe one more
appearance at most. Nothing special here, as usual tonight.
Ethan
Carter III and Tyrus don’t like JB correcting them. They try to rip
his hair off but it’s real. This was basically just a plug for
Wednesday’s World Title match.
Austin
Aries vs. Davey Richards
The
winner gets to pick the stipulation for the fifth match in the Tag
Team Title series. Aries
takes him down to start but then runs to the corner to hide. They
trade some standing switches until Aries bails to the floor to avoid
a kick to the head. Back in
and Aries plants him with an STO of all things but won’t use the
Pendulum Elbow.
A
wristlock doesn’t get Aries anywhere as Davey dropkicks him out to
the floor for some more stalling. Richards
wins a chase and hammers him against the barricade but Austin comes
back with a shot of his own, setting up a top rope ax handle to take
over. Back in and the
slingshot hilo gets two for Austin, followed by a handspring elbow
for the same. Some kicks to the chest make Davey growl a bit,
allowing him to come back with a kick to the chest and a German
suplex.
Aries
seems to be looking for a tag, because a guy who has primarily
wrestled as a singles guy for years and recently reformed a tag team
can’t remember how a one on one match works. Aries
takes him to the floor for a big dive and nails a missile dropkick,
setting up the Last Chancery.
As
usual it doesn’t work (it rarely did when he was a face either) but
the brainbuster doesn’t either with Davey countering into a falcon’s
arrow for two. They slug it
out until Davey throws him into the air for a kick to the chest,
followed by the top rope double stomp (to the arm) for two more. Cue
Bobby Roode and Eddie Edwards for a distraction, allowing Aries to
roll Davey up for the pin at 17:28.
Rating:
B. That’s probably going to be
the match of the night as we’re definitely in One Night Only
territory here. This was a match that didn’t change a thing but at
least was entertaining while it lasted. Everyone is trying on this
show, but there’s only so much you can do to overcome the power of
indifference.
The
Dirty Heels pick a 30 minute Iron Man match. In
case you hadn’t seen these teams fight enough yet.
Eric
Young says he’ll win.
Dollhouse
vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong
Before
the match the Dollhouse says they’re better looking so they’ll win.
Kong is in a full body
outfit this time. Taryn
chokes Kong to start but all three Dolls are sent into the corner for
a big triple splash. They
officially start with Jade having no luck against Kong with a Marti
having to break up a cover off a splash. Brooke
comes in off the hot tag and cleans house before things settle down
with Marti taking over.
Back
to Jade for a bearhug, which is in no way an excuse to get Brooke’s
trunks to ride up. The
referee misses a tag to Kong but it goes through a few seconds later,
allowing Kong to destroy the Dollhouse (sans Taryn) just like she did
before. Brooke clotheslines both of them down as Kong goes after
Taryn, leaving Brooke to hit a top rope facebuster (the Butterface
Maker. Just go with it) for the pin at 8:23.
Rating:
D. No point to the match,
basically no Taryn, and just a step above a squash. The Dollhouse is
already crumbling but we can get like six years of the Beautiful
People. At least it’s not Gail Kim doing her least interesting stuff
again, because I don’t think I can handle another major push for her.
Magnus
doesn’t hate James Storm even though he wants to. Tonight he has to
believe that love is stronger than hate, even if he loves the way
hate feels. The devil can’t catch him tonight because he’s already
inside. Good line to end this. It makes little sense but good line.
Also, you would think that
the whole attempted murder thing might have fired Magnus up more.
Long
recap of Magnus vs. Storm. Basically Storm was all friendly but was
just trying to get Mickie James to join the Revolution but she turned
him down so Storm tried to kill her by shoving her in front of a
train. Now it’s time for a match.
James
Storm vs. Magnus
Unsanctioned
so anything goes. They slug
it out at ringside to start before heading into the crowd with Magnus
taking over. Storm slams
him through a table of food and grabs a beer bottle but stops to spit
on the announcers, allowing Magnus to come back with right hands.
They get back inside with a table being set up but
Storm hits him low.
Magnus
doesn’t seem to mind as he catapults Storm’s face into the bottom of
the table for a unique spot. It’s
off to the back of the arena again as a production guy repeatedly
tells them that there’s high voltage back there. Magnus is thrown
into a box and the video screen goes to a test pattern. That goes
nowhere so they head back to the ring with the Eye of the Storm being
countered into a powerbomb through the table for two.
Storm
comes back with an Orton hanging DDT but stops to set up another
table on the floor. Instead
of putting Magnus through the table though, Storm yells at Earl
Hebner, allowing Magnus to make a comeback. Magnus misses a top rope
elbow through the table and crashes onto the concrete. That’s only
good for two of course so Storm pulls out some powder.
Magnus
comes back for like the tenth time but the powder goes into Earl’s
eyes, meaning there’s no count off the Spine Shaker. Instead the
Last Call gets two so it’s cowbell time, but Magnus hits another
Spine Shaker for two. END THIS ALREADY!
Now the cowbell connects and another Last Call gets another two.
Storm
sets up two chairs with a piece of barricade bridged between. Magnus
superplexes him through the barricade and, say it with me, it gets
two. Both guys get bottles
and connect at the same time with Storm falling on top for the pin
(despite Magnus being on the barricade and therefore his shoulders
not being on the mat) at 16:38.
Rating:
C+. The match was trying but
they went WAY too far and long out there as it was almost a copy of
the Rusev vs. Cena match at Payback. Yeah they beat each other up a
lot but I lost interest about halfway through. This felt like it was
about four matches packed into one, but at least it was a fun brawl.
The start was pretty lame though as they were just kind of walking
around and trying to figure out what to do.
Drew
Galloway says he’ll win, just
like the Rising this Wednesday in the final battle with the BDC.
Another match that should have aired here.
The
audio is screwed up because of the electrical stuff earlier on.
Thankfully we’re treated to
a long shot of the production crew cleaning up the debris from the
previous match and then a shot of the announcers.
Ethan
Carter III/Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson/Lashley
There’s
no commentary and Anderson’s mic doesn’t work. It
starts up again as Anderson
and Carter start things off with Ethan being taken into the corner
for a beating and a spear. Lashley can’t quite suplex him over the
first time but Tyrus gets in a surprise chokeslam to take over.
Tyrus comes in for some
shots to the neck as Tenay talks about Anderson and Lashley feuding
over the ECW and US Titles.
Anderson
comes in with jabs as we’re treated to Pope talking about his time in
OVW. His feud down there with Matt Morgan is the least interesting
feud that I have ever seen so I wouldn’t brag much about it.
Commentary keeps cutting
out, leaving us to analyze Carter’s chinlock on Anderson with no
guidance. Lashley comes in
off the hot tag to clean house again with a running powerslam getting
two on Carter. Anderson and Lashley slug away on Tyrus but he
(mostly) suplexes them both down. Carter
runs back in for the 1%er on Lashley for the pin at 10:12.
Rating:
D. Standard Impact main event
here but this show has already sucked all the life out of me so I
couldn’t get into things. Carter winning is the only logical move
here to help set up the title match on Wednesday, even though they
already had him pin Lashley and Anderson. It’s almost like this
match was thrown together with the best logic they could think and it
still wasn’t enough.
The
announcers preview King of the Mountain. Jarrett is treated as an
invader.
Jarrett
says he can’t believe he’s back here but wants to take this to a
global level.
King
of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett
It’s
the old Legends/TV/Global Title with a new plate. The rules here
aren’t exactly simple. You win by climbing the ladder and hanging
the title, but in order to do that you have to earn a fall to be
qualified with falls
counting anywhere. Whoever
is pinned must go to a penalty box for two minutes. We
get big match intros with JB saying Drew is standing in the corner to
his left. He’s kneeling but close enough. Jarrett
is introduced by his old nickname: the King of the Mountain.
Jarrett
stands back as everyone brawls to start. It’s Roode going after
Jarrett first but eating a backdrop, followed by Young taking a
beating as well. Jarrett
goes for a strut but Roode rolls him up for a pin to become eligible
and to send Jarrett to the penalty box for two minutes. Matt
Side Effects Roode for two as Jarrett escapes….only to be covered
by Young to become eligible. Everyone
brawls inside and get sent into the ladder until Jarrett gets out.
Young
hits Jarrett low but gets rolled up by Galloway for a pin. Matt hits
a Twist of Fate for a pin on Roode at the same time, sending both
Young and Roode to the box at the same time. Only Jarrett is
unqualified at this point. Hardy
and Galloway fight on the ladder (yeah remember the whole ladder part
of this match?) but Jeff shoves them both down and Strokes Galloway
for two with Hardy making the save.
Jeff
covers Matt for two more as Young and Roode are making a pact in the
box. Both guys get out and
clean house before stopping to sing O Canada as we flash back ten
years. Young tries to turn
on Roode and gets Cactus Clotheslined out to the floor. Galloway and
Hardy go to the ropes but get powerbombed down by Jarrett, only to
have Roode and Young steal pins to keep Jarrett ineligible. It’s
a three way fight now with Young vs. Roode vs. Jarrett with
Eric getting the best of it and grabbing a guitar, only to have Jeff
take it away and knock Bobby silly to become eligible.
Galloway
and Hardy get out and fight over possession of the belt but knock
each other down, leaving Jarrett to climb up. Young pulls him down
with a powerbomb and a piledriver onto a ladder, followed by Roode
coming out of the box. Galloway
climbs on top of the cage for a big flip dive to put all five guys
down. It’s Drew climbing
again and Matt pulling him down again. Just to keep up the idea of
the match of course. Roode
stops Hardy and goes up but Young makes the save with another ladder.
Jarrett and Young go up with Jeff hitting a Stroke off the ladders,
allowing him to hang the title for the win at 20:56.
Rating:
D+. So in case you don’t get
it, here’s the story: TNA is freaking out that an invader (who they
invited) is going to take a title that they just invented to another
company which they basically advertise for free on their TV show. Oh
and Jarrett is a face because he’s a legend in TNA and therefore the
announcers panicking really doesn’t fit with what’s going on. The
match was your standard King of the Mountain mess with the most
obvious winner in the history of obvious winners.
Overall
Rating:
D. That’s the worst
part: the show wasn’t even that horrible. It’s in one of the worst
categories possible though: the show that didn’t need to exist and
underwhelmed. There were some good matches on here and the stories
were actually current so it blows last year’s Bound For Glory out of
the water, but my goodness this show felt like it was going on for
days. It’s not a good show and it’s clear that this company is in
complete free fall as they seem to have no idea what they’re supposed
to do next.
I
know the TV is taped for a month or so, but they really, really need
to nail them because this show felt like the last time we’re going to
see these guys. With a lot of these people leaving too, things are
looking very, very bleak for TNA and they don’t really seem to
notice. If Jarrett leaving with a freshly made midcard title for a
promotion that has held about four shows is their big story, they’re
in major, major trouble.
Results
Tigre
Uno b. Manik and DJZ – Corkscrew moonsault to Manik
Robbie
E. b. Jesse Godderz – Reverse DDT
Bram
b. Matt Morgan – Brighter Side of Suffering onto a chair
Austin
Aries b. Davey Richards – Rollup
James
Storm b. Magnus – Beer bottle to the head
Tyrus/Ethan
Carter III b. Lashley/Mr. Anderson – 1%er to Lashley
Jeff
Jarrett b. Matt Hardy, Drew Galloway, Eric Young and Bobby Roode –
Jarrett hung the title belt

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